After a breakup, there are seven stages of grief, and how fast you go through them depends on what you do. You can take a really long time, even years, wishing your ex was back, or you can go through them quickly to either get back with your ex or find someone better. These stages work for women too, but we are here to help guys.
The main idea is to not get stuck feeling sad and either fix your relationship or start a new, better one.
At this point, a guy is usually trying to figure out what happened, and he might be thinking things like, “I can’t believe the relationship is over” or “This can’t be true.” When the woman you love doesn’t want to be with you anymore, it’s a major surprise and can make you feel really bad. It can even affect your body, like making you feel sick, lose your appetite, stress out, or have trouble concentrating at work. If you really cared about her and don’t want to lose her, it’s a tough situation.
Once the initial shock settles down, which could be in a few minutes or days, a guy might begin to resist the idea that the relationship is over. He could be thinking, “I can’t accept that we’re done. She means so much to me, and I don’t want to lose her.” So, he might reach out to her through texts, calls, or even visit her in the hopes of working things out.
If she still doesn’t want to reconcile, a guy can get upset, either blaming himself for not seeing the problems or feeling angry at his ex for breaking up. Self-blame might lead to thoughts like, “I didn’t see this coming,” while anger at his ex could involve feeling betrayed and lied to, as he trusted her and expected a future together.
When a guy reaches this point, he might start making deals with himself and with his ex. He could promise that if he gets another chance, he’ll do whatever it takes to make her happy. On the other hand, he might want to bargain with her just to win her back, to break up with her later, which could leave her feeling rejected and upset.
If a guy can’t win his ex back, he can start feeling really down and unhappy. He might think, “It’s all pointless. She’s gone, and I’ll never get her back. I should just accept it.” He could also feel sad about being single now and worry about what others, like friends, family, or coworkers, will think. He might wonder if he’ll ever find someone like her again and fear being lonely and sad in the future.
After going through the sadness phase, when a guy starts to see that there are ways to win a woman back, he can begin feeling more optimistic. At this point, he might start to check things out, like sending her a text to see how she reacts.
If a guy has tried and failed to get her back, it can take a long time – months, years, or even decades – for him to finally move on. Eventually, he’ll be ready to move forward without her. He’ll accept that what happened is in the past, and he can’t change it.
Have you experienced these stages of grief after a breakup, or do you have your own insights to share? We’d love to hear your thoughts and personal experiences in the comments below.