It’s not always easy whenever a relationship between two loves has to come to an end. It doesn’t even matter whether you’re the one who decides to end things or not. It’s difficult because there are so many feelings, emotions, plans, and egos at play here and they are all going to require attention and care. Moving on can be particularly difficult for the people who are still holding on to feelings for their exes. But that might not just be the only thing that can hold a person back from getting over someone they’ve broken up with.
There are plenty of other things that might be serving as deterrents for you to move on in a healthy and proper manner. And a lot of these things might actually be your own fault. There might not necessarily be the right way to move on from a breakup that would work for absolutely everyone. But there are definitely a few wrong ways to try and move on from a breakup and these are the things you always want to make sure to avoid.
The idea of being single again after being in a relationship for so long can be quite scary. It can be very intimidating. It might feel like you are being thrust back into a world that you never asked for yourself; a world that you’re not comfortable being in. But you can’t let that fear just keep you from moving on. You can’t let that fear cripple you into being a sad and depressed. You can’t allow your anxiety to leave you in an emotionally vegetative state.
Again, it doesn’t really matter about who initiated the breakup. A breakup is always going to be a huge blow to a person’s ego and sense of self-esteem. You try to stay in a relationship because you want to feel some emotional validation for who you are in the form of another person. And when that validation goes away, it can be very easy for you to feel lost and emotionally vulnerable.
If you really want to move on from a breakup in a healthy and effective manner, then you need to make sure that you aren’t committing the following mistakes:
1. You are afraid of having to face situations wherein you can no longer turn to them.
You have gotten so used to just relying on your partner for a number of things in life. You turn to them whenever you need advice. You try to ask them for help whenever you can’t make it through something on your own. But that is a luxury that is no longer afforded to you and it scares you to bits.
2. You still talk to one another on a regular basis.
You can’t expect to move on from your ex if you’re still going to be talking to one another on a regular basis. You have to set boundaries. You have to make sure that you are absolutely over them before you try to have friendly relations with them again. You are only killing yourself by engaging in communication with them even if you still have some feelings for them.
3. You consider your relationship status to be a big part of what makes you who you are.
You tie your sense of self-worth to your relationship and that’s a problem. You think that you don’t really offer much value to the world unless you’re in a relationship with someone. You rely on a partner to offer you a sense of validation with regards to who you are.
4. You stay connected on social media.
You still try to stay connected with your ex on social media. You are still friends and Facebook contacts. You still like their photos on Instagram. That’s wrong. You need to make sure that you take a break from one another for a short while – even on the virtual space. It’s essential if you truly want to move on from them in a healthy way.
5. You only think of the positives of your relationship.
Don’t view your old relationship as a perfect one. It failed for a reason. Don’t make the mistake of romanticizing everything to the point that you forget about the many bad aspects of the relationship.
6. You stay focused on the sense of loss.
Yes, you may have lost a loved one. But it’s not a total loss. Stay positive and try to focus on the opportunities that are afforded to you as a result of you being able to break away from your relationship.
7. You’re too afraid of being single.
You are just too afraid of being single again. You have gotten so used to just always being in a relationship that you don’t know if you would be able to make it in this world outside of a relationship. You are too afraid of the possibility that you don’t have what it takes to make it on your own.