7 things that draw toxic people to you
Neither is everyone the same nor are they going to treat you in the same way. Of course everyone knows that since all of us have all sorts of people in our life. There are people who want you around, people who don’t like having you around and then there are people who keep you in their lives simply because you benefit them in some way or the other. At times even when you’re aware of being used, you can’t do anything about it because it’s that difficult for you to say no to someone.
If they’re not trying to use you, they’d find a problem in everything you do. Nothing’s ever going to be good enough for them, and you never seem to do anything right. They make you doubt yourself. You never see them celebrating any of your achievements, because it’s obviously not that big a deal. All they really add to your life is negativity, and it’s your fault that you allow them to do so.
How so? Because these are the kind of people you attract. You choose who stays in your life and who doesn’t. It’s your behavior towards people in general that makes people treat you the way they do. You could be a gem of a person, but there are always going to be people who walk all over you or make you feel gullible. You’re probably too good for your own good, and that needs to be dealt with, immediately!
Perhaps too much of everything is as bad as too little.’ Edna Ferber
At times, good things start becoming bad. Here are 7 reasons you’re attracting toxic people, and also a few ways you could keep them from intoxicating your life;
7. You’re too good of a listener
You realize how important it is to be heard, so you give people the attention you’d like to be returned. This may be great for the one talking, but not all that good for you at times. They’d be rambling on, without allowing you to give any sort of input. An incessant talker would ignore all the polite ways you’d try to end the one-sided conversation, leaving you no way out. You’ll have to put up with their hours of whining, whenever they feel like talking to you.
You’re not obligated to listen to them all day long! So act like it. Try getting away from them early on in the conversation. Tell them you’ve other engagements, or you’ve some things to catch up to, or just something believable. They might feel bad that you’re cutting them short, because you’re. But some things just need to be done.
6. You always find time for the people in your life
Being as busy as everyone is, the most appreciable thing one can do is to make time for others. It’s nice to know that someone values you enough to do so. But be careful with who you spend your time with. Being too generous can make toxic people take you for granted. Seeing that you’re always accessible to them, they’d exploit you, as much as they can. Responding to them immediately and doing whatever they ask of you, will eventually spell out regret for you.
You’re going to get sick of this routine at one point or another. There are going to be times when there’s something you need to do or maybe you just don’t want to do anything at all. And when someone asks you to do something for them then, you would pretty much hate them for it, yet still do it. What’s the point in that? If you’re not up for something or just don’t have the time for it, there is no reason to not turn down someone’s request. You might beat yourself about it but it’s better to put your needs first than doing something half-heartedly.
5. You don’t hesitate in sharing your dreams with people
People who want to be someone, do something or get somewhere are admirable indeed. They inspire people, but at times they attract the toxic kind. When you’re spiritedly talking about your dreams with them, they’re secretly thinking the worst of you. It may root from envy or insecurity, but they’re going to bring you down, in all possible ways. They’d make you question yourself, try to talk you out of it and keep discouraging you one way or the other.
Initially what they say might sound like concern, but gradually you’ll come to see that it’s anything but that. If someone fails to see things your way, or you fail to convince them to at least try to look at things a little differently, it’s time you changed topics. You already have doubts; you don’t need any more negative vibes. Instead choose to be around people who are as driven as you. In them, you’ll find motivation, comfort and the support you’d need to achieve your goals.
4. You’re pretty mellow
You’re the kind of person no one has trouble getting along with, no one at all. You’re easy to approach and you can turn around any situation in minutes. You’re level headed and deal with things in the best way possible. Where most people love your company, some are going to take advantage of your easygoing nature. They’re well rehearsed at manipulating people, and they’re going to the same to you. Whatever it may be, they know that you’re not one to say no.
This one is as simple as it gets; start saying NO! (Easier said than done though) You may be in the habit of offering help to people, but some of might actually take you up on your offer. And then you know you can’t back out. So when someone asks for something, take some time to decide if it’s really doable and that they won’t make it a habit.
3. You’re mostly in good spirits
Who doesn’t love a smiling face? No one. You’re bound to attract people if you’re always cheery and tend to be the center of attention everywhere you go. You kind of bring life to the party. While many may appreciate that, others would just want all that for themselves. Since they’re insecure and dubious of themselves, they look for approval in other people. And if no one’s paying attention to them, they’d probably get a fit! Everything just has to be about them.
Someone who always seeks your approval, and depends on you to help define their worth is always bad news. Keeping up with someone like that is draining. You’ll have to spend all your time making sure they’re happy, but then again they never choose to be happy. And there’s nothing much you can do about it. When you start sensing something off about them, distance yourself from them.
2. You’re all for reconciliation
Even when you’re not the one directly involved in a dispute, you just can’t stand it and would do everything you possibly can to sort things out. And if you are in fact a part of it, then you’d do anything to settle the matter. Normally, people appreciate such gestures and value you for the things you do. On the other hand, peace is boring to some people. They just crave drama, and can never get enough of it.
The people, who crave drama, often create it too. If you’re surrounded by such people, they’re never going to let you rest. It’s just going to be one thing after the other because they know you’re always going to save the day. Stop living up to their expectations. Nothing is going to come out of it.
1. You choose to see the best in everyone
You try surrounding yourself with good people, and are successful at that because of the kind of person you are. At the same time, you have the heart to accept the shortcomings of people as well. You tend to look past them, and focus on the good things. Even when subject to the worst kind of behavior from such people, you just don’t give up on them. You expect them to come around eventually, but that may never happen.
Don’t ignore what is right in front of you. You know when you’re not being treated right, and it’s up to you to do something about it. Looking the other way won’t change anything. Although everyone deserves a second chance, but just limit it to that. Don’t allow them to intoxicate your mind, heart or life in anyway. You don’t feel good about someone, cut them off.
Be the best version of yourself. People are going to make it a very difficult task, but don’t let them change the kind of person you’re. Channel your positivity in the right people and in the right amount. You never know who might be attracted to and inspired by your goodness. Learn to recognize when you’re being used, and also to walk away from such situations.