7 Things To Keep In Mind When Arguing With Your Significant Other According To Relationship Experts
Managing conflicts well is always going to be about effective communication between opposing parties.
All healthy and strong couples will know that having the occasional argument and disagreement in a relationship is actually good for the romance. When two people get together because they love one another, they still maintain a sense of individuality and independence despite a shared mutual love. Sometimes, this individuality can lead to opposing views and disagreements. When conflict arises in a relationship, the best couples are those who are really able to manage their conflict effectively so as not to jeopardize the relationship as a whole.
It’s foolish to assume that couples who have more arguments are the couples who have weak relationships. It’s not about the quantity of fights a couple may go through. It’s about the quality of whatever conflicts or disagreements they might have that really indicates just how strong their relationship may be. The only way for any couple to be able to sustain a long-term relationship is to learn the tricks of the trade when it comes to dealing with conflict. At the end of the day, conflict is going to be inevitable between two human beings. And it’s how couples manage these conflicts that can either make or break a relationship.
If handled well, couples will grow closer than ever before after having jumped the hurdle of disagreement. But if mishandled, even the simplest argument could seriously deteriorate the quality of the romance. And managing conflicts well is always going to be about effective communication between opposing parties. The only way for conflict resolution to be efficient and effective is when there is a great deal of communication that is involved. It’s all about practicing good communication habits even when tensions rise and emotions are running high. When a couple has poor communication habits in their relationship, then it will be much harder for them to be able to find their way to peace after having a fight.
Remember that habits breed character. And you don’t want your relationship to be characterized by poor communication habits. You don’t want to have your romance and affection for one another deteriorate over time just because you don’t know how to argue constructively. It would be a waste of a perfect love. There is a way for the both of you to address deep and impactful issues in your relationship without having to resort to hurtful dialogue. Here are 7 things you need to keep in mind when arguing with your significant other.
1. You don’t have to try and win every right that you have.
Remember that arguments and conflicts are not about winning. Love and relationships should never be about competitions. It doesn’t matter who is right and who is wrong. Trying to go into an argument with the mindset of someone who wants to win ruthlessly is wrong. You have to go into an argument with the intent of wanting to hear each other out.
2. Keep a calm and relaxed tone of voice when conversing with one another.
Don’t raise your voice at all. As difficult as it may be to keep your feelings in check, you never want your partner to feel like you are attacking them. You have to maintain your composure and keep calm so that tensions don’t escalate to unnecessary heights. It’s possible for you to get your point across without shouting.
3. Make sure to stay within the confines of a current argument.
If you’re arguing about a very specific and current issue, make sure to not bring up any arguments that you might have had on the past. Take it one argument at a time and work from there. There’s no point in bringing up old fights and reopening old wounds.
4. Make sure to time your arguments for appropriate moments.
Not all arguments have to be made right away. There is a proper time and place for every conversation. Ideally, you would only want to argue with one another when you are in your own private sanctuary where no one else is able to witness it.
5. Don’t resort to name-calling or character assassinations.
Stick to the issue at hand. Don’t resort to insulting one another’s character as what children would do during fights. Just learn to have issue-based arguments all the time so that you don’t end up saying anything that might hurt your partner. You will end up regretting it in the future.
It doesn’t matter whose fault it is. It doesn’t matter who should take the blame. No one wins from finger pointing at all. Just be patient with one another. And whenever applicable, apologize and own up to whatever shortcomings you may have. Don’t let pride get in the way of a constructive conversation.
7. Do not get physical under any circumstances.
And always refrain from getting physical. No slaps. No pushes. No punches. No scratches. Just use your words and always maintain your cool.
Talk to me
What do you guys do during fights? Talk to me in the comments below!