7 Toxic Things Narcissists Say About Their Exes And What They Really Mean

Narcissism defines a behavior where people are self-centered and focused on self-inflation. It’s a personality disorder in which people think extremely highly of themselves and don’t empathize with other people’s feelings and needs.

Narcissists have an excessive sense of self-importance and lack empathy for others. They prioritize themselves and don’t genuinely care for their partner’s feelings or needs. In a successful relationship, both partners should give and take, but a narcissist tends to focus solely on what they can gain, disregarding their partner’s worth and emotions.

How to Identify Narcissists – Signs & Symptoms

Narcissistic people often make others, especially their partners, feel like they are too much or too less and don’t appreciate them for what they really are. They would intentionally or unintentionally seek attention from people around them all the time and won’t pay heed to others’ feelings. They are more judgmental than kind and manipulate people into thinking they are the problem.

1. They were crazy and obsessed with me. They just can’t let go.

Narcissists might say their ex-partners are unstable and obsessed with them. What they’re truly saying is they don’t like when someone doesn’t always focus on them. Calling their ex ‘crazy’ helps hide their own controlling actions. In reality, the ex might have seen the unhealthy situation and chosen to move away from it, seeking a healthier path.

2. They cheated on me and betrayed me.

Narcissists may blame their ex-partners for betraying them to avoid admitting their own actions. Actually, their behavior might have caused the breakup. They use the accusation of cheating to trick others into believing they were the one hurt.

3. They were so insecure and controlling.

When a narcissist labels their ex as insecure and controlling, they may be projecting their own traits onto them. In truth, narcissists often exhibit controlling behaviors to maintain power. By saying this, they divert attention from their own actions and place the blame on their ex.

4. They were the love of my life. I can’t get over them. I am so broken.

Narcissists might show strong feelings and sadness about an ex to get sympathy and attention. They could be doing this to keep people interested in their story. But their ‘hurt’ feelings might not be real – they might be pretending to make others feel bad for them.

5. We’re just friends. I just want the best for them. I am happy for them.

Narcissists might act nice and friendly to their ex to seem kind. But actually, they could be doing this to keep an eye on them and control things. Saying they’re happy for their ex might hide their own feelings of jealousy or not feeling confident.

6. They never really understood me. Our connection was so deep and intense.

Narcissists might say their exes didn’t really get them, talking about a strong bond. This lets them make the relationship seem perfect while quietly blaming the ex for it ending. Actually, this strong connection is often because they want praise and approval, not real deep feelings.

7. They were always trying to change me. They couldn’t accept me for who I am.

Narcissists could say their exes always wanted to change them, making themselves seem like victims of their exes’ wishes. But actually, narcissists don’t handle criticism well and find it hard to meet in the middle. This talk helps them avoid blame and trick others into feeling bad for them.

Share Your Thoughts:

Have you identified these behaviors in your own encounters? We’re eager to hear from you – feel free to share your thoughts in the comments and let’s explore the world of narcissistic behavior and its effects on relationships.

1 comment
  1. I am in this kind of a relationship. He always say he is the unique person I ever dated 😆. He talks bad about his ex. Everything is all about him.

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