Not a lot of couples realize this but one of the most effective ways to build intimacy and closeness in a relationship is to actually put yourselves in uncomfortable or unfamiliar situations together. It’s during these moments where you get to really see your raw selves, and you really grow to become closer together.
When the two of you somehow find a way to be comfortable with each other even when you’re in uncomfortable situations, then that is definitely a sign that you have a love that is built to last. And the converse is also true, whenever you have a partner who doesn’t want to embrace the uncomfortable and awkward aspects of your relationship, it might be a sign of weakness in closeness and intimacy.
Relationship expert, Laura Richer, says that “If you or your partner are walking on eggshells and pretending to be the perfect version of yourself, the relationship [likely won’t work].” She goes on to say, “To be in a loving and accepting relationship, both partners must be open to being their true selves.” And that means always having to be open and genuine about certain things surrounding your personal life even if they’re awkward and uncomfortable.
According to relationship expert and couples therapist, Jason Platt, PhD, you can’t really be intimate with your partner if you are unable to share comfortable things with each other. “We all start at this level where we’re presenting our best selves,” says Platt. “But there is an entirely different level of intimacy possible when you’re given access to the vulnerable realities of each other’s lives. Having someone know all your complexities and to love you is profoundly meaningful.”
If you have a partner who isn’t opening up to you about these things, then it might foster a sense of insecurity and distrust in your relationship. That is why it’s likely that your relationship won’t work out unless your partner would be able to share these uncomfortable and awkward things with you.
1. Their feelings and emotions.
No matter how uncomfortable or uneasy it might make the both of you feel, you must always show a willingness to talk to one another about your feelings and emotions. You must really make it a point to be open about your feelings so that you can always be on the same page in your relationship. This is absolutely vital in ensuring that you work well together.
2. Their insecurities and fears.
When you have a partner who opens up to you about their fears and insecurities, then you know that they really do trust you. It’s important that you are in a relationship with someone who you know you can always trust and rely on to be there for you when you are at your weakest and most vulnerable. And that’s why you need to open up about your fears to each other.
3. Their needs in the relationship.
You should be thankful to have a partner who opens up to you about their needs in the relationship. It goes to show that they are invested in you and that they want to make things work with you. They don’t expect you to just read what’s on their mind. They always want to make sure that you know what you mean to them.
4. Their financial habits and philosophies.
There are so many couples that break up as a result of failure in communications regarding finances. And it’s important that the two of you are able to fix that. Naturally, the deeper you get into your relationship, you are going to want to open up to one another about how you handle your money. A failure to do so could result in a big fight or conflict.
5. Their sexual fantasies.
Sexual intimacy is always going to play an important role in most contemporary relationships. That’s why it’s good when you have a partner who actually opens up to you about the sexual fantasies that they might have. It goes to show that they are interested in spicing things up in the bedroom with you. It means that they’re interested in really fueling your passions.
6. Their painful life experiences.
It’s so easy to talk to someone about the best things that have happened in your life. But it’s different when you have to open up about the experiences that have brought you substantial pain and disappointment. That’s why it’s really a different kind of intimacy when you have a partner open up to you about the experiences in life that have brought them the most pain.
7. Their family issues.
And lastly, you know that your partner considers you to be a part of the family when they start talking to you about the issues in their family. It means that they practically see you as someone they are going to have a close and intimate relationship with that can match the level of family.
What if I’m not there but trying to influence him to get in the comfortable feeling
Well said