You try to stop yourself from doing it but you just can’t help it. You try to stop yourself from rereading all of those old text messages that he used to send you. You try to stop yourself from thinking about the many times he gave you flowers out of the blue.
You try to stop yourself from thinking about the cute little dinner dates that the two of you used to have. You try to stop reminiscing about a relationship that lives in the past; a relationship that is no longer here in the present. You so desperately want to convince yourself that you’re stuck in a kind of bad dream.
You try to tell yourself that everything is going to be fine when you wake up in the morning. But no. It isn’t you cry yourself to sleep every night and you don’t know when this terrible nightmare is going to come to an end.
You want everything to be okay again, but the truth is that things are only going to get worse for you before they can be better.
I have a story just like that concerning my own life. A couple of years back, I lost the love of my life. And this wasn’t just some casual fling or a short-lived relationship. We had been together for 5 years before we decided to split up. And I was all broken up inside. This was the man of my dreams.
This was the guy who I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with. He wasn’t just my boyfriend. He was my best friend. He was the person who made me laugh even when I wasn’t in the mood to smile. He was the guy I could always count on to be there for me no matter what.
It was always him I turned to whenever I felt like life was becoming too much for me. He was the one man that I trusted more than anyone else in the whole wide world. And he still left me. He abandoned me. He left me hanging out to dry. The man who I thought would take care of me ended up being the man who would break my heart into a million unsalvageable little pieces.
And it was when he left me where I realized that I had hit rock bottom. That was the worst that I had ever felt in my own life. And if you are reading this, then it might be likely that you are going through a similar situation. You might be enduring a similar struggle.
And if that’s the case, then I only have one thing to say to you: It’s not the end. Just keep on going. Just keep on fighting. You are going to be okay, eventually. Even though it feels like you won’t be able to recover from this, you’re going to look back someday and be happy about where you are at that moment.
Just take your time to heal and don’t rush into anything. If you’re feeling lost and scared, then maybe it would help you to know that so many women have stood where you are right now and they managed to make it through. And to further put your mind at ease, here are a few things that you can try to help you heal after your heartbreak.
- Give yourself ample time to actually recover from the pain. This isn’t an easy experience that you are going through. And no one expects you to be okay in a matter of mere days. Take your time. We all heal at different paces and you should stick to yours.
- Let all of your emotions out but make sure that you don’t allow them to get the best of you. It’s still important that you are able to get your feelings in check so that you don’t cause any harm unto yourself or those around you.
- Stop blaming yourself for how your relationship turned out. Yes, you have to be mature enough to assume responsibility for your shortcomings. But not everything that took place was your fault. Sometimes, things just aren’t meant to be no matter how hard you try.
- Try to distance yourself from any painful triggers. For example, if you know that a certain song reminds you of your lost love, then don’t listen to that song a hundred times a day.
- Always try to take the high road. Remember that even though he broke your heart, he is not the enemy. Focus on your own healing and don’t allow yourself to be consumed by thoughts of revenge or vengeance.
- Always maintain a more optimistic outlook on life. Sure enough, there are plenty of things in this life that are worth smiling about. Focus on those things.
- Force yourself to still believe in the power of love. It might have failed you once. But all it takes is for one love to go right and you will know it to be the best thing in the world.
self compassion, self love, self care, patience & time is the best remedy for 💔 and its definitely o.k. to focus on yourself and most importantly there is no time limit. Grieving is a process and can last a lifetime (hugs)