They’re gone, get your life back and stop hurting yourself!
The “Ex Topic” will always be a sensitive in every relationship no matter how cool or super-cool your current partner is. We get too comfortable with our partners in discussing what is going on in our minds, which is great! But it might get a little overboard when we stop thinking that our partner might want to be all that insensitive towards this topic but cannot be.
They surely try not to pay too much attention to the details of things when you are talking about them because that will go on to bug them but you can only avoid something for so long. This later on causes friction between the two. If you really want to avoid such fights over your past, here are the things you need to stop doing.
1. Stop saying you had a “unique” bond with them
This is like telling your partner that the both of you do have a special bond and love each other but the kind of bond you had with your ex, that cannot be matched with anyone. No matter how truly amazing your exes were, your partner does not want to hear about them. Even if they say they are okay with it, just trust your instincts and speak of them as less as possible, or don’t at all.
2. Stop complaining about how they “broke” you
Even though this is quite a sensitive point for you as well but your partner doesn’t need to know that even after finding them, you are still stuck in the miseries of your past. You should totally discuss it with them if it highlights a positive point about your current relationship.
Also, we start believing when we love someone that we can make them better people and their lives better as well. If you will still think of the way your ex broke you, that means your current partner isn’t good enough to put those pieces back together. Mind wobbling, I know!
3. Get rid of those gifts
Okay! Nobody wants in their house, their partner’s ex’s stuff. It is a bad idea to start with. Don’t keep memoirs of your exes. At times, they might mean absolutely nothing to you that’s why you overlook the point of getting rid of them, but your partner doesn’t.
4. Get rid of all those videos and pictures (you know which ones)
Better get rid of all those up close and too-personal videos and photos you’ve had with them. No one would want to stumble upon such things from your past. Where you might not care about them being in your house anymore, your partner would really feel jolted and it might upset them greatly.
5. Delete those messages
Emails, texts, Whatsapp conversation, just delete them all. Why have a detailed and an explanatory version of what your relationship was like? Everyone wants to believe that the way their partner talks to them, they haven’t talked to anyone else like that before. Whereas the truth is, everyone’s nature remains the same. Nobody really changes and it somehow effects people when they see that they share the exact same bond with you that your exes did. Though, I agree that is very unrealistic of them to think like that but it does happen and causes a lot of friction between couples.
6. Don’t show your partner you remember the special dates
Even if you remember their birthdays or when you first met them etc, go ahead and pretend as if you don’t. I know I am asking you to lie but it will save a life, YOUR LIFE! I’m just kidding. It isn’t really lying, it is just not giving away the kind of information that you think will cause problems. You are doing it all to keep your partner happy, eventually.
7. Stop telling your partner that the breakup was hard on you
Even if it was terribly painful, your partner doesn’t like to know that anyone other than them can have that kind of effect on you. As mentioned before, we all have a thing for feeling like we are different from others, we are more of everything for our partner.
8. Stop comparing you partner with your ex
Unless it is good and you are basically trying to say how better your current partner is than your ex, zip it! Comparison acts as a venom for a relationship, it is fatal, brutally fatal! No matter how patient your current partner is, they will run out of patience one day and that’s the day they become the topic of your discussion with your future partners.
So, if you really care about them, and don’t want them to grow insecure or have doubts about your feelings for them and your exes, you have got to be clear with these things!
Talk to me
What sort of fights have you gotten into with your current partner because of your ex? Share your experiences with me in the comments below. And as always, stay blessed and keep the love alive!