Is there really a person in this world who doesn’t want to be liked? Maybe I would be fair to say that to a certain extent, all of us want to be liked – especially when it comes to key people. It’s always nice to know that people generally feel comfortable when they’re around you. It’s a great feeling whenever you know that people will always tend to develop a general liking towards you. However, it would be a mistake to think that likability is something that comes naturally; that it’s something that’s inherently embedded in our personalities.
Nope. Yes, we can follow our instincts when it comes to interacting with other people. But to be genuinely likable, you really have to put effort into building your character and your personality. You always want to be making sure that you are doing your part in presenting yourself as someone who is worthy of being liked. It takes a certain level of self-awareness to ensure that you aren’t rubbing people off the wrong way. A lot of selfish and narcissistic people will assume that they are always doing the right things; but the truth is that they just aren’t being mindful of the effects that their words and actions have on other people. And it’s always important that you don’t fall into that trap. You must always make yourself aware of how other people perceive you.
Now, it’s important to note that you shouldn’t be living your life purely to meet the standards of other people. Of course not. You should be living your own life independently; and you should be making your own choices. However, there is no denying the value of being someone who people have a real affinity for. The more likable you are, the better you will be able to get along with other people; and the more likely it will be for others to want to help you when you’re going through rough times. It always pays to have a solid group of friends around you who genuinely care about you.
And that’s why you can’t be completely selfish. That’s why you can’t afford to be acting however you want without thinking about how other people see you. Part of growth and development is being able to acknowledge certain flaws to your personality; and being able to learn from the perceptions that other people have of you. But if you’re completely clueless in this regard, don’t worry about it.
That’s what this article is for. If you find that you are guilty of a lot of the things that are listed on here, then you should probably do your part to change. These are some mistakes that you make which make you really unlikable.
1. You gossip and talk about other people behind their backs a lot.
No one likes a gossiper because no one can ever trust a gossiper. Think about it. If you’re constantly talking about other people behind their backs to someone; then no one is safe from you. You come across as two-faced and no one will be comfortable around you.
Learn your boundaries. No one likes a person who overshares. Don’t be so assuming so as to think that everyone is going to be interested in the intimate aspects of your life.
3. You keep your eyes glued on your phone when you’re conversing with another person.
Put your phone away and focus on the moment that you’re in. Live in the present and have a normal conversation like a normal human being.
4. You have a close mind that doesn’t respond well to contradicting opinions.
Be open-minded. It’s the only way you are ever going to be able to establish relations and connections with people who don’t think like you.
5. You are fond of name-dropping.
No one likes a name dropper because it’s an act of desperation to climb the social ladder. It’s pathetic; using the names and influence of other people to establish a certain sense of power and elitism.
6. You don’t ask any questions when you’re getting to know someone.
You can’t be making the conversation all about you if you’re just getting to know someone. Or even if you’re conversing with a long time friend. If you don’t ask questions, you’re coming off as someone who is self-absorbed and doesn’t care much about the lives of others.
7. You let your emotions get the best of you.
No one likes a person who isn’t able to keep it all together. Don’t lose your marbles. Don’t let your feelings get the best of you. No one ever enjoys having to deal with an emotional mess.
8. You humblebrag.
Humblebragging is a newly minted term for something that people have been guilty of doing throughout the course of history. It’s when you try to brag about something in your life and you’re passing it off as casual conversation – even though it’s completely obvious that you’re just tooting your own horn.