There’s just no getting around the truth that the dating scene has changed substantially over the past few decades. And so by extension, since the game has changed, the rules have changed as well. And we all know what Darwin said about those who fail to adapt they fail to survive. If you want to find success in modern dating, then you are going to have to make yourself aware of how the game is played these days. You have to be aware of all the best practices, and you need to be able to learn to hem. You need to adapt yourself into a modern dating machine if you really want to maximize your dating life.
But if you’ve been living under a rock and you’re a little rusty when it comes to dating, then it is highly likely that you are unaccustomed to the new rules. Don’t worry. That is what this article is for. It’s for people like you who are completely lost when it comes to dating. Just make sure to follow these rules and you are going to do fine for yourself in the competitive dating scene. Here are a few secret rules to modern dating:
1. There are heavy implications to all activities on social media.
A like isn’t just always going to be a like on Instagram. A comment on your Facebook photo isn’t always going to be a random comment. Millennials are so skilled these days at veiling their true feelings and intentions with seemingly innocent activities on social media. You shouldn’t be reading too much into things, but you shouldn’t be acting so aloof either. Social media is a tool; and if you want to win at dating, you have to know how to use it.
2. It’s okay for you to take the lead and be forward in the relationship.
Regardless of whether you are the guy or the girl, you should be comfortable with actually being forward about how you want to go about this relationship. If you want to express your interest in another person, go ahead and do so. If you’re a girl, don’t be afraid to just walk up to a guy and ask him out on a date. If you’re a girl, don’t be so dismissive of girls who are a little more aggressive than you are used to.
3. Don’t place so much pressure on yourselves to put a label to things.
Are you boyfriend and girlfriend already? Are you in an open relationship? Are you still testing the waters? Are you exclusively dating? Are you in a legitimate relationship? There is practically no point in trying to label your relationship while you’re still dating because there are just too many dynamics in play. You would be doing yourselves a disservice by simplifying whatever it is that you have with a mere label.
4. Don’t feel so entitled to exclusivity right off the bat.
Just because you’ve gone out on a couple of dates with this person doesn’t mean that you are entitled to a certain sense of exclusivity. Remember that until you actually talk about the parameters of your relationship, it’s always open game. So if you find that the guy you’re dating is liking some other girl’s picture on social media, you shouldn’t be freaking out. For once, it could be completely innocent and free of malice. And two, even if there was some malice to it, you have no right to complain.
5. It’s okay to be honest and upfront about your intentions when you’re dating.
Go ahead and lay it all out on the table. Don’t be so afraid of making yourselves vulnerable. A lot of people will try to suppress their true feelings and emotions from one another while they’re dating. This leads to a lot of confusion and miscommunication issues. Always make it a point to be honest to one another.
No, the man doesn’t have to pay for every single date. If you’re both old and mature enough to be serious about your dating lives, then you should both be able to pay for your fair share of dates. If you’re a guy, don’t feel so compelled to pay for every single date. If you’re a girl, make an offer to pay every once in a while especially if you know that you earn more than he does.
7. It’s always a good idea to meet each other’s friends early on.
A good way to gauge a person’s personality is to examine the group of people associated to that person. If you really want to get to know the person that you’re dating, it’s not a bad idea to hang out with his/her respective group of friends. That way you can get a little taste of what it’s like to hang out with this person.
8. Individual stability is key to establishing stability in a relationship.
You should first find stability in who you are as an individual before you can find success in dating. If your life is still all in shambles and if you’re still trying to work your way to a place of stability and structure, then it is highly likely you will win the dating game too.
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