This is something that can happen to anyone. Don’t you dare think that you would ever be immune to such manipulation and abuse. And it doesn’t even have to happen in just a romantic relationship. It’s perfectly possible that you would have workmates, friends, or even family members who would be so willing to just use you for what you can do for them.
They employ all sorts of manipulative tactics just to get you to do what they want you to do regardless if it’s convenient for you or not. You say yes to a simple favor every so often. And before you know it, the favors come in a little too frequently. You’re being used.
Sometimes, it can be easy to spot a partner who is only using you. Perhaps they only ever send you a text when they want something or if they’re looking to hook up with you late at night. Maybe a boss or manager at work is always guilting you into working late. They might even be threatening your job in an effort to get you to do more than is actually required. It might even take the form of a “friend” who only ever really shows up whenever they need something from you. These behaviors are often subtle but can be significant indicators of signs of emotional manipulation. Recognizing these patterns is crucial, as they can lead to an unhealthy dynamic where your needs are consistently overlooked. It’s important to establish boundaries and prioritize relationships that are reciprocal and supportive.
User-friendly people are everywhere. And they can make for really toxic people to be in relationships with. They generate so much imbalance and the relationship can feel like it’s just too much to bear. You would never want to subject yourself to the abuse and manipulation of anyone – most especially not in a romantic relationship. That is why you want to make yourself aware of the many signs that someone might be using you and what you need to do about it.
1. You feel uncomfortable whenever you are around them.
You just don’t feel comfortable whenever you are around them. Your instincts are telling you that something is up and that’s why you’re experiencing some kind of discomfort around this person. It means that you don’t feel comfortable with trusting them completely.
2. They are only ever nice to you when they want something.
They don’t really treat you nicely unless they are trying to get you to do something for them. They’re just trying to make it seem like they genuinely care about you when all they really care about is what you can do for them.
3. They make you feel resented whenever you don’t follow through.
They guilt you whenever you are unable to deliver. Whenever you try to refuse doing them a favor, they’re going to make it feel like you have just done a great injustice towards them. They are really going to guilt you in order to manipulate you.
4. They don’t try to stay mindful of your needs.
They don’t really make an effort to be mindful of what your needs or desires might be. They are always so selfish and they’re only just looking out for their own well-being. They’re just using you.
5. They turn to you for financial support a lot.
They always go to you whenever they are in need of financial support. Whenever you go out on dates, they always expect you to be the one who shoulders the financial burdens.
6. They never return the favor towards you.
They never really return any favors towards you. They don’t make you feel welcome to ask any favors of them even though they do it to you all of the time.
7. They only act nice to you when they feel like you are slipping away.
They only ever really act nicely towards you whenever they feel like they are losing you. You might start to distance yourself because you feel that abuse. But once you do, they’re going to act nicely and make you want to stay again.
8. They never act grateful or appreciative of your efforts.
Once you’re done doing them a favor, they don’t really show you any appreciation or gratitude for your efforts. They don’t make you feel good about doing them a service. It’s as if you’ve just been discarded after use.
WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT
Well, this article’s purpose isn’t for you to just stop doing favors for people altogether. It’s still important to be nice and help people out in whatever way that you can. However, it also gets to a point wherein you need to engage in self-love and self-care too. It’s nice to help those who are in need. But you should never be compromising your own well-being in the process.
And in a true loving relationship, it’s always a healthy exchange of give and take. It’s never just one person who is doing all of the taking all of the time. You should never have to feel like you are the one who is making all of the sacrifices.
