When you get into a relationship with someone, it’s very important that you become willing to give up a certain sense of selfishness about the way you live life. Remember, you are getting into a relationship with another person. And in order to accommodate this person into your life, you are going to have to be selfless enough to be able to accommodate this person’s needs and standards. If you act too selfish in your relationship, then you risk alienating your partner in the process.
You need to maintain a sense of selflessness in order to prove to your partner that you are willing to put the needs of the relationship above your own selfish desires. Part of being selfless is being able to make compromises with your significant other. Compromise is absolutely essential when it comes to coexistence. You must always be willing to prove to your partner that you are willing to meet him halfway; that you are willing to make compromises in order to maintain balance and peace in your relationship.
You show your partner that you are willing to make some sacrifices for the sake of your love. Selflessness is important in a relationship because it establishes balance, symmetry, fairness, and equality. Any kind of imbalance in a relationship could potentially breed dysfunction and you never want that for yourselves. So if you’re going to fall in love with someone, you have to make sure that you are able to let go of your selfish desires whenever necessary.
And you must also make sure that you are with a partner who is willing to do the same. Otherwise, it’s all going to be moot. If you get into a relationship with a selfish individual, you are just going to end up very unhappy. You are going to be in a relationship with someone who is going to torment you all the time; someone who is going to force you to compensate for their inability to meet you halfway. You’re going to be in a relationship with someone who is going to make you feel bitter about having to exert so much effort into your relationship without receiving as much in return.
So if you don’t want to get stuck in an unfulfilling and toxic relationship with a selfish person, you need to make yourself aware of the signs that you’re with someone who isn’t worth being with in the first place.
1. He constantly asks for your support without giving you any support in return.
He always asks you to be his number one fan in life. He always turns to you for some extra support. But somehow, you never feel like you can turn to him for the same kind of support.
2. He only ever really likes talking about himself.
Whenever you have conversations about your relationship, he always finds a way to bring it back to himself. He wants to be the center of attention and he doesn’t want to share the limelight with you.
3. He only does nice things for you when he knows that he can get something good out of it.
Even when he seems like he’s about to do something selfless, he only does it if he knows he can get something out of it.
4. He keeps score of all the nice things he does for you.
He’s not really being nice to you for the sake of being nice; he’s treating it all like a game, and it’s a competition that he wants to win.
5. He demands that you meet his needs but he never does anything to meet yours.
He has certain standards in the relationship that he imposes on you; but he feels like he is somehow immune to the standards that you set for him in your relationship.
6. He never moves his schedule around for you.
He is always expecting you to be the one who adjusts your schedule if you’re going to meet one another. But he never does the same. He doesn’t like to adjust his life to accommodate you in it.
7. He treats you like a personal piggy bank.
He gets money from you whenever he wants. IT’s like he’s virtually won the lottery and you are his winning ticket.
8. His love for you seems conditional.
He always tells gives you a feeling like you have to act a certain way or else you’re going to lose his love; as if his love is some prize that you need to win.
Now these are only some of the signs that you are in a relationship with someone who is virtually incapable or unwilling to be selfless in a relationship. You could be stubborn and you could try to make things work. But ultimately, you’re only going to end up very sad and disappointed. Your efforts alone will never be enough to sustain an entire relationship. It always takes two to tango. And that’s why if your man just refuses to change for the better, it would make more sense for you to just leave him instead.