Relationships

8 Signs You Shouldn’t Say The L Word Just Yet

The “L” word shouldn’t be used lightly.

As sad as it is to admit, a lot of people tend to throw the word love around a little too liberally. Sometimes, the faintest hint of romance is enough for them to make the admission. That’s a big mistake. People have to realize and understand that intimacy and infatuation don’t necessarily equate to love just yet. Love is so much more than just a mere feeling that a person gets. Love is a legitimate experience. Love is an action. Love is something that envelopes itself around your core and it puts you into a stranglehold. It can’t be something that people just go around declaring for the sake of declaring it. You really have to make sure that you mean what you say.

There are plenty of reasons as to why you should wait for the right moment to declare your love for someone. For one, you don’t want to be prematurely committing yourself to another person even though you’re unsure of your feelings. You have to make sure that you understand how you’re feeling and you can’t misconstrue your feelings in terms of words. You always have to be able to be honest with both yourself and your partner. And second, you don’t want to be scaring your partner by declaring your love a little too early. Sometimes, if you prematurely declare your love for someone, then you risk coming off as overly aggressive and desperate. You always want to wait for that perfect moment before you decide to make any grandiose statements.

So how do you decide when it’s the right time to declare your love for someone? Well, it’s tricky to say because all relationships are different. All relationships have unique and distinct qualities. But of course, there are some general universal rules to follow. Here are a few signs that you can keep an eye out for to know when it’s not the right time to say the L word just yet. 

1. Your friends aren’t particularly fond of your partner.

You always have to take your friends into consideration when it comes to your love life. An outsider’s perspective never hurts when it comes to your relationship. Sometimes, you can get blinded by your own feelings and you fail to see the bad parts of it. If your friends are still on the fence about your new partner, then maybe you should hold off on saying the L word.

2. Your instincts are telling you to wait it off.

Trust your guy. It’s there for a reason. It’s supposed to be there to protect you. You always have to make sure that you are listening to whatever your instincts have to say. If it feels like something is off for the moment, then you don’t have to rush and commit into anything just yet. 

3. You’re still iffy about your own feelings.

When you declare your love for someone, you always have to be sure about it. You can’t afford to be making romantic declarations even when you’re not sure of how you’re feeling. You are essentially being dishonest with yourself and with your partner. Always be sure about your love before you declare it. 

4. You haven’t had any chance to be deep or intimate with one another.

Love can sometimes take a very long time to develop. In fact, the longer it takes for a love to really come to fruition, the more real you know it is. That’s why you don’t want to be telling a person that you love them even when you haven’t even really been intimate with one another yet. 


5. There are substantial problems in your relationship that you can’t overlook.

All loving relationships are going to be prone to problems. But if you are still early in your relationships, and you already have some irreconcilable differences, then you are going to have to hold off on saying the L word. It’s better to just wait for things to iron themselves out before you actually declare your love.

6. You don’t really talk about the future when you’re together.

The discussion of the future is important in any long term relationship. If you find yourself unable to envision a future that the both of you can share together, then you aren’t really in love with one another. If you genuinely loved your partner, you would want to plan your entire future around that relationship. 

7. You don’t really spend much time with one another.

If you don’t really feel compelled to spend a lot of time with your partner, you’re not really in love. If you were truly in love with someone, you would want to be spending as much time with each other as possible. 

8. You’ve only just started to date.

As previously mentioned, love is built up over time. You don’t want to make your partner skeptical of your romantic feelings by jumping the gun. Don’t rush through the phases of your relationship. Don’t feel the need to fast-forward everything. The right time will come and it’s always worth the wait. 

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Relationship Rules
Relationship Rules is my ideology of love. It's a concept of emotion and oneness. Check out my book - "50 Rules of a Relationship" here.

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