When we talk about sexual orientation, the human race has come a long way. We have now acknowledged that contrary to what our ancestors have believed, sexuality is a wide spectrum. However, despite there being aware of the different types of sexual identities people associate themselves with, there may still be misinformation around this topic. People seem to misunderstand the unusual, uncommon types of sexual identifications.
Greysexuality is something people are not very well informed about.
It is a term used to define the state in which a person is not always as eager as others to have sex, getting sexually aroused is somewhat a rare occasion for them. However, let’s not oversimplify gerysexuality. It is definitely more complicated than just not wanting sex very often. Let’s begin to clear the around grey sexuality.
Have you ever been confused about your sexuality? If you have struggled to find your ground concerning your sexuality, if you’re wondering if you fall under the category of grey sexuality, then here are some characteristics that may help you recognize your grey sexuality.
1. You can’t call yourself asexual, but you are not as sexually active as most people either:
You don’t fit under labels like straight, gay or bisexual (at least not all the time). But you can’t define yourself as asexual either. It’s not like you’re not sexually attracted to the opposite or the same gender, but your sexual attraction is are enough to have you doubting just what your actual sexual orientation may be. You find yourself in a somewhat confusing situation about where you should place yourself in the broad spectrum that human sexuality has to offer.
2. You have sexually desired someone but not often enough:
You have been turned on by someone, you’ve liked someone enough to want intimacy with them, but it has been a rare case for you. It feels unique, still. It’s not an experience you know you will have often enough like other people around you. Sex isn’t something of a regular activity for you.
3. You tend to prefer platonic relationships:
Even though it’s not like you block sexual bonds out of your life, but you have always naturally gravitated towards a platonic relationship. Sex and lust are not the driving force behind a connection for you. It is much more comfortable, much more natural for you to form a platonic bond of love with someone, and sex may or may not be a part of it. Your relationships can be devoid of sex, and that feels okay to you. Sexual compatibility doesn’t fall under your list of priorities when getting into a relationship.
4. Your sex drive is very slow:
It’s so rare for you to be sexually aroused that it can be bothersome sometimes. You can’t find anyone to relate to with a sex drive as mellow and slow as yours. You almost never masturbate. It just doesn’t come to you naturally. Sex is equally rare. You almost never feel like getting laid. Nothing and no one turns you on enough for you to want sex. Getting in bed with someone is not your thing even if they’re your girlfriend/boyfriend or husband/wife.
5. Making out is better than making love to you:
You love going on dates, you like romance, you enjoy holding hands, kissing, caressing someone’s body, cuddling but none of these circumstances will necessarily lead to you taking your clothes off or having sex. When you love someone, you love getting intimate and cozy with them, but this physical intimacy doesn’t have to be the sexual kind.
6. Your emotional needs are more important to you than your sexual ones:
If you were never to have sexual intercourse with your significant other, it wouldn’t bother you. Not as much as not having your intellectual, emotional and spiritual needs would bother you. The mind and the spirit come first and the body, second. If you were to choose between a lifetime of fulfilled emotional and intellectual wants and needs over sexual needs, you’d prefer the former option every single time.
7. It is completely fine if you can’t find a label under which you could fit your sexuality:
You could demisexual, grey sexual but if you’re still feeling like you can’t be defined as these two, and you’re the complexity of your sexuality exceeds the definition of grey sexuality or any other kind of sexual orientation, then that’s okay. You should know that it’s something quite reasonable. To be sexually defined is entirely up to you. It’s in no one else’s hands, and it is not an obligation. Definitions of sexual orientation can empower some, but they can make others feel restricted and tethered to verbal descriptions at the same time.
8. Your thoughts on your sexual orientation are valid:
Your sexual orientation may not remain the same throughout your lifetime. Maybe someday, you may feel that you are bi and maybe at some point in your life your sexual experiences may tell you that you’re straight. Your experiences may be different from those of other people, but that doesn’t mean they are unfounded, or any less valid. Embrace your sexuality, in whatever way it comes to you.