This one’s tricky, to differentiate a real relationship from one that’s fake. What really is a fake relationship? It’s an illusion that you have come to believe, the illusion of a long-lasting relationship. Many of us are in fake relationships, without even knowing. What you might be having is an affair, real relationships take a lot of efforts, no doubts there, but they are always better than fake ones in the long run.
There is a big difference between someone just saying those lovey-dovey things to you and someone that actually means those things. There are a lot of things that need to be considered in order to be in a ‘real relationship’ because one can easily manipulate someone and fool them into believing that they actually love them. Most people try to get in relationships just to get in their pants’, or it is more like a time-pass’ kind of a thing.
Here are the red flags that you need to keep an eye out for and prevent yourself from being fooled.
1. The communication sucks
Good communication is a requisite for a healthy relationship, if you are in a relationship where you two barely communicate, you can’t recall the last time you had a heart to heart with your partner, you just text each other every once in awhile, it’s just on and off, you are unaware of what’s going on in the other person’s life and it generally feels like you don’t know the other person then you’re not really in a relationship. You have formed a real bond only when you feel connected with your partner; emotionally, physically and mentally.
For example, if we talk about long-distance relationships. The communication is kind of the only thing the two have. They don’t get to see each other every day, they don’t get to go on a date with each other either, texting and calling each other is the only thing they have. Now, in order to stay together, they have to talk nearly all day long. You have to text them all the time to know what’s up’, you have to call quite often to know how they are doing, maybe a video call sometimes and go on a virtual’ date.
Anyway, be it a long-distance one or a normal relationship, the communication has to be there. It doesn’t really mean you have to text your loved one every second of the day, but you should know what’s happening in their lives, how was their day and on and on and on. You have GOT to have those long night conversations every once a while. The time where only you two are together, there’s no one else to disturb, you two can’t stop talking with each other, opening up in front of each other, those are the real conversations you want.
If you get to know normal day-to-day things about YOUR loved one through social media or someone else, even their birthdays from a Facebook notification, you’re definitely not in a real relationship.
2. Too much PDA
This might come as a surprise, you two are practically nibbling on each other, isn’t that a good thing? No, it isn’t. This is indicative of over-compensatory and ostentatious behavior. You are trying to put on a show, make-believe. It’s a way of maintaining the illusion that you guys have created, to lie to yourself and the others around you. You might be in a fake relationship and still manage to hear things like; ‘What a perfect couple you guys are’, ‘You make us want to have a relationship’ etc. If you guys are not this crazy about each other in private but can’t keep your hands off each other as soon as you have company, then you have a few questions to ask.
This is not really something very unique, there are many real-life couples that actually do this. They put up a show every time they are out hanging with their friends, or at a party, dinner or whatever it is. They hold each other and smile together when they are in front of other people but as soon as they get in the car to go back to their home, it’s totally the opposite. You both need to talk to each other, know what’s going in the wrong direction and ask each other questions like do you even want to stay with each other.
It is kind of sweet, seeing a couple holding hands or kissing. I mean, obviously, kissing in public shouldn’t be one of those prolonged ones that end up in making out, and there shouldn’t be grabbing in public either, but a little PDA is sweet. But this PDA can be very easily deceiving. Overcompensating for something going in your life in front of people is not something new, and it surely isn’t limited to relationships either. PDA can even, sometimes, seem forced. It’s a pretty common saying that appearances can be deceiving.
So, it is not always the way it looks like if you see a couple smiling and holding hands together out in public, doesn’t really mean they are happy together.