How long did it take you to recover?
Breakups are rough. The act of breaking up is tough. But it’s the days, the weeks, and the months that immediately follow a breakup which can feel like genuine hell. There are triggers all around you. There are various reminders and subtle mementos everywhere you turn. It’s like they’re all just waiting to trigger some kind of emotional response in you that you just don’t want to entertain at the moment. But you can’t help it.
You hear a certain song on the radio, and you immediately think about those happy times you shared together. You walk by a café that you used to frequent as a couple and you just completely lose your marbles. You let your sadness consume you because you know that you have no choice. It just demands to be felt. It’s the kind of pain that just doesn’t seem to want to go away.
And so you try to bear with it the best way that you can. You have always been told that the only way to ever get over someone is to let time take its course. But that doesn’t mean that you have to take a passive approach to healing either. Here are a few things that you can do to just completely force your ex out of your mind.
1. Focus on all of the bad memories, and not the good.
Sometimes, when we get nostalgic, we only ever really remember the good parts. And that’s why we end up sad because we only really ever miss the good parts. But none of us are going to miss the bad parts. And those are the things that you really need to focus on if you want to get over your ex. Think of all the bad times that you’ve had in your relationship and you will find yourself to be less remorseful about things ending than before.
2. Prepare a list of all the terrible traits that your partner used to have.
Keep a list handy just in case you’re in need of a reminder. Sure, you like to think about that feeling of falling in love with your ex for the first time. You were probably so captivated by all of their good qualities and amazing attributes. But you forget that you guys broke up for a reason and that things weren’t all good. So just make it a point to remind yourself that your ex wasn’t perfect – and they had very specific flaws that you couldn’t bear.
3. Engage in real and genuine meditation.
Do some meditation. It’s good for the soul. There’s a reason why yogis and Buddhists seem so happy and fulfilled all of the time. Just put your phone away, breathe, and let go of all of your thoughts and feelings.
4. Focus on taking care of yourself.
Sometimes, the best way to just get over someone else is to focus on yourself. And do exactly that. Start eating healthier. Start going to the gym. Start learning new skills and immersing yourself in more culture. Go travel. See a play. Visit the museum. Read more books. Do things that add value to your life and it will be so much easier for you to get over your ex that way.
5. Find comfort and solace in the arms of your friends.
Turn to your friends. They’re your friends for a reason, aren’t they? They’re supposed to be there to help pick you up during your weakest and most vulnerable moments.
6. Challenge yourself by getting into a new hobby.
When you find a new challenge that you can keep yourself busy with, then that’s always going to be a welcome distraction in your life. Your new hobby can keep you engaged and focus. It will force you to devote a lot of your time and energy into a new endeavor – and it won’t give you any chances to weep and sulk about your failed romance.
Block them on Facebook. Unfollow them on Instagram. Stop viewing their Snapchats. Sometimes, the most effective way to get over someone is to erase all traces of that person’s existence in your life.
8. Stop putting so much pressure on yourself to move on.
Hey, breakups are really hard. And you don’t have to give yourself a deadline to move on. You don’t have to pressure yourself so much. Yes, you want to do whatever you can to blunt that pain. You no longer want to be triggered by even the simplest of reminders of your failed love affair. But that process takes time; and you can do what you can to try to speed it up, but it’s still a process. So just go easy on yourself and trust that you will get better in time. And never let this setback keep you from believing that love is still out there waiting for you.
Talk to me
How long did it take you to recover? Talk to me in the comments below!
