Breakups are rarely ever easy. You have to make sure that you navigate your way through a breakup in the right way if you really want to heal and become better. When you have someone important in your life who you find yourself having to let go, it’s not all that simple. Naturally, you will hesitate to cut out a person who has made a significant impact on your life.
You and your ex might have shared social circles. You might go to the same places a lot. You might take part in shared activities. Maybe you go to the same schools or you work together in the same office. These variables can help make the situation even more complicated than it already is.
That’s why it’s so important that you know just how to set boundaries with your ex. It’s absolutely crucial that some parameters are upheld in order to help both of you heal and recover from your breakup better. There are countless ways in which an ex can interfere with your life. That is why it’s important to have an action plan as you try to move forward independently from one another.
You owe it to yourselves as individuals. You aren’t doing this for each other anymore. You’re doing it for yourselves. The only way that the two of you can heal your hearts moving forward is if you set, uphold, and respect the boundaries that you have for one another.
There are plenty of women who have already dealt with this problem in the past. Some of them have found much success while others haven’t. It all really varies on the circumstance and execution. But what is consistently clear is that boundaries are important for all former couples. But again, it’s not always going to be the same for all people. You mostly need to follow your intuition and adjust to your own needs over time.
However, if you feel like you need some genuine guidance and advice on how you can do this, then this article is perfect for you. Here are some valuable pieces of advice from real women who have actually been where you are right now. You can read on to gather more perspective on the matter and see if any of these tips are applicable to your situation.
1. End all communications – Dina, 26
Just stop it with all the texts, the voice mails, the mini conversations. Stop it. Forget about your ex for the meantime. Focus on yourself.
2. Go to therapy if you think you need it – Courtney, 29
Sometimes, setting boundaries just aren’t going to be enough. If you feel like you need to go seek the advice of a professional, then go ahead and do so. You shouldn’t feel ashamed to actually seek therapy to help you heal.
3. Seek comfort and advice from your loved ones – Lisa, 25
Just because you fell out of love doesn’t mean that you don’t have love in your life. There are still plenty of other people who love you. And maybe you should try to hear them out and see what they think about your situation. They are there to look out for you after all.
4. Maintain your distance even in online space – Chaney, 23
Don’t go stalking your ex on social media. You won’t be able to move on if you’re still going to keep browsing their feeds trying to figure out what they’ve been up to.
5. Follow your own rules – Natalia, 30
It’s not enough that you set rules for yourself and your ex. You should also be willing to enforce and follow those rules as well. There’s no point in saying that you shouldn’t be talking to one another when you’re too weak to resist sending your ex a text in the middle of the night.
6. Talk things out for a bit about how you can move on healthily – Megan, 29
Your relationship ended but your teamwork doesn’t have to end right away. You can use your teamwork to talk about how the two of you can healthily move on as individuals. Sometimes, it takes a team effort to break up.
7. Agree to focus on yourselves – Samantha, 25
Sometimes, instead of paying attention to what your ex is doing, you might just want to focus on what you’re doing instead. And if you can both come to terms on how important that is, then it will be a lot easier for you to heal.
8. Get some closure first – Sally, 29
For me, it’s always best that you are able to get some closure first. That way, the entire process of healing and moving on just becomes a lot simpler and easier. When you find closure with your partner, then you are better able to move forward in your own individual lives without getting into each other’s way.