1. You need to learn how to be alone before you can be together.
You can’t have a relationship that is co-dependent. You can’t be too clingy. You can’t be too needy. You can’t be completely dependent on your partner in your relationship. And you can avoid all of that by making sure that you know how to be alone. You need to learn to be self-reliant. You need to be able to get things done on your own so that you don’t have to depend on others to get things done for you. You must be the type of person who knows how to live your own life with pride and enthusiasm; so that you don’t put too much pressure on your relationship to be the only thing that makes your life whole.
2. Perfect balance in a relationship is practically impossible most of the time.
You aren’t always going to have equilibrium in your relationship. Not all things are always going to be balanced – and you can’t be obsessive about it. Don’t let yourself get consumed by the thoughts of always wanting to be equal in a relationship. Irregularities are okay; it’s all about how you are both able to move on from these things.
3. You can be attracted to other people just as long as you don’t act on that attraction.
There’s this common misconception that goes around concerning people in relationships and how they aren’t allowed to be attracted to other people. That’s complete foolishness. You can’t help who you get attracted to. That’s part of being a human being. You are always going to be able to admire other people – especially when you really have an attraction towards certain personality types or appearances.
But that’s okay. That’s not a problem. It only ever really becomes a problem whenever you choose to act on that attraction. The temptation to cheat and the actual act of cheating in itself are two completely different things. You shouldn’t have to feel guilty with being tempted every once in a while.
4. Learning how to be vulnerable with another person is key.
When you are going to want to get intimate with another person, you can’t be playing as someone who is too cold, distant, or closed-off. You always need to allow yourself to be vulnerable. You always need to be someone who is open and easygoing. You need make your partner feel like you trust them – and that you’re willing to put yourself in a position of weakness with them. You need to show them that you are confident in your relationship; that you know they would never do anything to hurt you. That’s really what having trust in a relationship is all about.
5. Come to terms with how imperfect and flawed you are.
Be honest that you aren’t perfect. Be humble enough to acknowledge your own personal flaws and shortcomings. Swallow your pride and accept the fact that there is always room for improvement; and that you aren’t someone who is going to be immune to criticism.
6. Learn how to argue more constructively.
You are both unique and individualistic human beings. You carry your own personalities and worldviews with you as you make your way through this world. And that means that sometimes, you are going to have your fair share of clashes. You aren’t always going to completely agree on everything – and while disagreement can also breed resentment, you need to be able to keep your cool. Always maintain your composure. Keep things civil with one another when you fight. Make sure to never say things that either of you are going to end up regretting. Keep emotions out of it as much as possible.
7. Be more open to going outside of your comfort zone.
You aren’t always going to be comfortable in your relationship – and you’re going to have to be okay with that. You aren’t always going to find things simple and easy. You aren’t always going to be having a smooth go at things. There will be moments wherein you will find yourself in severe discomfort; and it’s during these moments where your relationship is really going to be tested. And you always have to make sure that you have the strength to withstand these trials.
8. Sacrifice is essential to peaceful coexistence.
When you’re in a relationship with someone, you aren’t always going to be able to have your way. You aren’t always going to be able to get what you want – and you’re just going to have to live with that fact. You’re going to have to make a few compromises and sacrifices here and there to accommodate your partner. You aren’t always going to see eye to eye on everything; and you can’t win ALL of the time. You need to find a way to make the both of you happy – and sometimes, a little shared happiness is a lot better than one-sided happiness.