9 Habits Happy Couples Have But Never Talk About
What makes a couple "perfect"? Is it the way they treat each other? Is it the way they complement each other? Or is it the fact that they turn each other’s imperfections into their perfections? First of all, there is no standard of "perfection" when it comes to relationships, every couple can be a happy and perfect couple in their own way, it all depends on what their definition of perfection and happiness is.
In my case, the perfection in my relationship is defined by the things we do with each other, things that we are both fully aware of but never mention, because we are so perfectly used to each other and comfortable with each other’s presence that we have just learned to cherish each other’s efforts.
This article is going to be based on my own life and some of the closest people I know, people who are happy in their lives with their partners. This is going to be a list of 9 things or habits happy and strong couples have but never talk about. Let’s begin.
1. They don’t let the outside world affect them
Truly strong and content partners have a very healthy habit of standing by each other no matter what, no matter who comes up against them or tries to stop them, they’ll keep supporting each other without a doubt. The outside world consists of good and evil, more evil than good, some people are going to try to come between you and your partner, they may try planting weird misconceptions in your head about your partner, that is the point where you shun their efforts and keep standing by your partner without any regrets, that is what true love is all about – being there for one another.
Obstacles can come in your relationship in any form and shape. It might be something someone said that incites doubt in you about your partner’s past. It can revolve around society disagreeing to the choices you both make in your relationship, whatever they might be. But no one else is a part of the bond you share with someone except you and that person. What the outside world says and does is of no concern. The real concern, therefore, lies in the fact that you two have each other’s back at all costs. It paves a clear road for a healthy relationship that can stand the test of time. The only thing happy couples care about is what they think about each other, how to be their bigger selves for each other not for the outside world. In the end of the day, all we have is people we trust, not the whole world. Partners in a happy relationship have each other to come back to, without the outside world’s interference in their personal matters and so forth.
2. Complete acceptance
Happy and strong couples are those who completely accept one another without any need for change. Someone who truly loves you for who you are would never try to change anything about you (as long as it’s not a life-threatening habit), they’ll cherish the differences between the two of you, because those differences are exactly why you’re special and they make you the person you are. Your differences are beautiful and they define you as an individual. Short-lived romances die down because of the constant need to "improve" and "change". True love and long-lasting relationships don’t require any changes.
Those in a happy relationship realize the fact that changing one another is no different from being robbed of who they really are. The world is already a place which tries to change you, bending and breaking you to become its idea of perfection someone who can be controlled fully. But happy couples know that their relationship is the safest haven to be whoever they want to be, without any restraints. That, in turn, makes the relationship last longer. They appreciate the similarities, respect the differences and allow each other full space to be their own self, nothing more or less. And it is only when we are truly ourselves and are comfortable in our skin that we can be content with our lives. When you find someone who makes you feel such contentment, it will lead to a healthy relationship indeed.
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3. More than enough time without asking for it
Happy couples know how important it is to spend enough time with each other, they will never let each other feel ignored or lonely because they’re always there for one another. Time is one of the most precious gifts in the world, especially in today’s busy world where everyone has tremendous amounts of things to do everyday. But if you can still take out enough time for your partner, even with everything going on in your life, you’re telling them (indirectly) that they mean the world to you and you’ll always be there for them, that’s what true love is all about and that’s what makes a relationship strong and "perfect".
There are only a few things in this life we can give and never get back: words said and time given. Happy couples know this all too well. When it comes to spending time with each other, they do not even look at their schedule; such people are among the ones who understand what true love really is. And they respect each other too when they take out time from their schedule for their significant other.
Spending time with their partner does not imply those happy couples ought to do something new and exciting each and every time. It does not even mean taking the other to a fancy restaurant or dedicating the whole day to do what they like. Sometimes, all it means is sitting with their partner and asking them about their day, something that might have made them happy or sad, a new thing they learned about, how that new dish tasted which they made that day and so on.
Point is, time is a treasure and when you lay it out at your partner’s disposal you are showing them how much they mean to you. That is precisely what happy couples do whenever they get their hands on this treasure.
4. They listen to one another
Happy partners listen to one another, truly listen to the words and understand them. They listen with patience and speak when they know they need to, that’s the most important part. A strong sense of communication is one of the most vital factors of every long-lasting relationship, couples who have an open level of communication with one another tend to be happier with each other. Don’t just nod your head or say yes even when you don’t even know what they’re talking about, it will hurt them, it will make them feel like no one listens to them, pay attention.
Happy couples realize the difference between hearing and listening; the former lacks focus and feelings while the latter is both those things. They also understand the fact that by speaking all the time, they are just repeating what they already know but by listening, they might learn something new. So they lay everything aside and listen to each other.
That does not necessarily meaning listening to each other tell long tales from their past. Sure, it can be that too. But it can also be a simple account of meeting someone new that day, their plans for the weekend, something new they have discovered about themselves and so forth. The bigger picture includes both the parties knowing the other is there for them to listen and offer any advice and guidance, if possible.
Happy couples truly listen to each other instead of waiting for one’s turn to reply which is what most people do. It is a wonderful thing to have someone who listens, and happy couples realize the worth of this because some look for a hand to hold, a kind listening ear and a caring heart. Relationships that last longer do so because they have all this and they cherish it while they still can not when it is too late.
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5. No blame games
Strong couples don’t dwell in blame games, they don’t like blaming each other. The key to being a successful partner is to openly accept your mistakes without any blames, if you make a mistake and you know you did something wrong, it befalls on you to make up for it and apologize. If you start blaming your partner, it’ll just lead to a very weak and short-lived relationship which will end up hurting both of you in the end. Don’t play the blame game, accept your mistakes wholeheartedly and learn from your mistakes.
Being committed in a relationship demands, among many other things, that you see what you did wrong, how you can amend it and make up for it. It does not lower your status when you accept your faults and apologize for them to your significant other. In fact, it only lifts your standards in their eyes. Happy couples are free of pride and instead, accept their follies to prevent further complications in the relationship.
That is why they last longer they swallow their pride and accept their mistakes instantly. Furthermore, such couples abstain from playing the blame game because they are responsible and careful enough to take the blame of their own actions instead of thrusting it on the other person. Such a deep sense of responsibility always exists within two people sharing a healthy, strong bond of love and respect.
And that is exactly what gets them through hard times as well, no matter how hard it gets. They do not throw the relationship away when it becomes a bit cracked, by blaming one another. They fix it and take full responsibility for their own deeds.
4. Healthy discussions about life’s goals
Healthy and strong couples have a strong level of communication when it comes to talking about life’s goals and dreams. They support one another, in any way they can, just to help them get that much closer to their goals in life and they never stop cheering for each other. I always find my girlfriend rooting for me, uplifting me, doing everything she can for me so I never stop moving forward in life, that’s the fuel that keeps me going, that’s why I love to do what I do because I know I have someone counting on me, that feeling is one of the best feelings in the world. Healthy couples don’t refrain from talking it all out either, because they don’t judge one another.
Their partner’s happiness and success is their own. So people having a happy relationship are always doing what they can to assure their partner stays on the road of self-achievement. If not now, then someday but they make it happen. One’s dream is the other’s aim. One’s wish is the other command. One’s success is the other’s biggest goal to achieve. Even if they cannot offer financial or some other resourceful support, partners in a healthy and happy relationship support each other morally, emotionally and mentally.
Sometimes, that proves to be the biggest support of all, for it is only when a thought or emotion takes deep roots in our head and heart that we set out to make it happen. If one experiences fear or uncertainty about achieving a goal, their partner is there for them to support them and remind them of their life’s goals, building their stamina side by side. Even when all does not go as plans and some goals do not see the light of day, happy couples still have each other and together they decide to take on whatever comes next.
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3. Mutual compromise
Strong couples know that compromise is a big part of every relationship and they compromise for each other without a second thought. I’ve seen couples, sad couples, couples in "one-sided relationships" where one person is making all the sacrifices in order to keep the other person happy, that’s not love, that’s not love at all! If someone truly loves you, they won’t ask you to compromise anything of your own without being ready to give up something of their own too, that’s how love works, one-way compromises never work out in the end, because the person who was compromising this whole time suddenly becomes tired of it all and prefers to be single than to be with that person.
This is never the case with happy couples. They know what is at stake, what needs to be done, and how making even the slightest bit of compromise can help both the persons involved. They do not ask each other to sacrifice something without putting something on the table themselves. In the long run of things, it works out just fine when one decides to put their ego aside and compromise for the sake of the other.
Happy couples make the sacrifice, the loss, easier to deal with later on for each other by offering their full-time love, support and loyal behavior. This simple display of love and affection and acknowledgement of what the other has sacrificed makes happy couples stay free of regret and remorse over whatever they have sacrificed.
In fact, it makes them all the more happy to know their giving up on something has brought a positive change or improvement in the relationship. After all, that is what happy couples strive for.В \
2. They are forgiving towards each other
Strong couples know when to forgive and how to forgive. We are all human, we will make mistakes, we will eventually hurt the people closest to us even though we never wanted to, it just happens. And that’s where forgiveness happens, forgiveness is very important, true love is very forgiving, the person who loves you with all their heart will never think twice before forgiving you, because they just can’t see you feel bad about anything, they just can’t see you in that negative space, that’s what love is all about, to forgive one another.
Being in a healthy relationship with true love as the driving force, both the persons involved actually understand how terrible it feels to say or do something and then feel bad about it. That leads to self-blame, self-hatred and all of that accumulates to destruction of the self. So one instantly forgives the other after something goes wrong. They let each other know that no hard feelings remains and whatever went wrong, can surely be fixed. Even if the apology and the forgiveness following that comes late, it is always present between a happy couple.
They cannot stay angry at each other for long, go without talking to each other for long or wait to spend time together. And the solution to all of that begins with forgiveness. The distance that often appears when one takes too long to forgive the other as is often the case in one-sided relationships can literally tear two people apart. Forgiveness in the name of love comes quick, without demand and nothing to gain in return except the happiness of the other.
If you receive that forgiveness a little too late from the one person who matters most to you, you will already be on that path where you are unable to forgive yourself. Happy couples understand these consequences all too well and so; they forgive each other without even asking for it.
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1. They end arguments properly
One of the worst things you can do in a relationship is to leave an argument hanging in the middle. Let’s face it, everyone argues, I love my girlfriend more than anything in the world, that doesn’t mean we don’t have our usual fights and disputes, it’s because we are two different people who are sharing one life – disagreements are bound to take place. That’s where true love and strength comes in, to end arguments properly. To talk it all out, to not let anything unsaid, to hear each other’s parts and to bring proper closure to the argument, never to be repeated again, that’s what leads to a happy and strong relationship.
What hurts more than the fights and the tension that follows is the hurt that you were not worth an explanation, not worth making it up for. To prevent the other from going through that hurt, partners in a healthy relationship never leave things hanging. If it time and space they need to figure things out, they give it to each other. Sure, one might be too hesitant to take the first step but it always spans out properly in time when two people love and understand each other. They know how toxic it can get to leave things unclear; it will only lead to more disagreements and misunderstandings.
So, they consider it better to get things out in the open and find a way to manage around it. The key to staying together long and happily lies in the fact that two people who love each other unconditionally and respect each other devote their time and efforts to clearing the fog after arguments and fights by swallowing their anger, pride and thinking with a clear head. The knowledge that their partner is in continuous anxiety, distress and pain because their opinion was not agreed with or because their meanings and intentions were not understood properly that in turn brings more discomfort to the other one in the relationship.
So, happy couples stay because they know better than to leave things hanging and instead, sorting them out together. That way, both get what they want and no one’s left out. Love and understanding between the two only makes handling things easier.
Question of the day
What’s the one habit the two of you share that you just completely adore? Leave your answers in the comments below, the best answer will have something special written on them on our page. As always, stay blessed and keep the love alive!