Have you ever met someone who makes you feel confused, upset, or even guilty during conversations? These people might be covert narcissists – individuals who use sneaky phrases to control and manipulate you without you even realizing it. In this conversation, we’ll break down nine common phrases these covert narcissists use.
By understanding these tricks and using simple words, we’ll help you spot these behaviors in your relationships so you can have healthier and happier interactions with others.
1. “You’re way too sensitive.”
When someone says this to you, they’re trying to make you feel like your feelings are too strong or unnecessary. They want you to doubt yourself and think that you’re overreacting so they can avoid taking responsibility for what they did to hurt you.
2. “I’m only joking.”
This phrase is used when someone says something mean or hurtful and then claims they were just trying to be funny. They want you to believe that you misunderstood their intentions so they don’t have to apologize or admit they did something wrong.
3. “I didn’t say that.”
When someone denies saying something hurtful they said earlier, they want you to think you’re imagining things or remembering wrong. This makes you question your memory and doubt yourself, which helps them avoid facing the consequences of their words.
4. “If it wasn’t for me.”
When someone says this, they’re trying to make you feel like you owe them for all the things they’ve done for you. They want you to believe that you’re in their debt, so they can use that to control you or get what they want.
5. “Don’t you remember how good we were?”
This phrase is used to remind you of the good times you had with someone in the past. They want you to focus on those happy memories and ignore the fact that they might be treating you badly now. It’s a way to make you forget their current behavior.
6. “You’re making no sense.”
When someone tells you this, they’re trying to make you feel like your thoughts and words are confusing or wrong. They want you to doubt your ability to communicate effectively, so they can keep control of the conversation and situation.
7. “You’re lucky to have me in your life.”
When someone says this, they want you to believe that they’re doing you a favor by being in your life. They’re trying to make you feel grateful for their presence, so you’re less likely to ask for things or set boundaries. It’s a way to maintain power and control in the relationship.
8. “You’re just trying to create drama.”
Covert narcissists sometimes call your efforts to talk about problems or disagreements “drama-seeking.” This makes your concerns seem less important and makes you look like the one causing trouble. It becomes more challenging for you to bring up real issues because they make you feel like you’re the problem, not the things you’re trying to discuss.
9. “I’m the only one who truly understands you.”
When someone says they’re the only one who really gets you, they’re trying to make you feel like they’re your only source of understanding and support. They want you to depend on them for emotional help and to feel like you need them. This way, they can keep you away from other people who care about you, making you rely only on them.
What are some phrases that covert narcissists employ for manipulation? Feel free to share your thoughts and experiences in the comments!
