The human brain is a very complex entity. There are so many things that we are learning about the brain every single day. And as it turns out, the brain can actually be really self-destructive at times.
It can engage in toxic behavior almost naturally and we really need to police ourselves in that respect. It can be very easy to just fixate all of our attention on another human being especially when you know that the feeling is mutual. However, it can also be very unhealthy to do so.
According to Dr. Femke Buisman-Pijlman, Ph.D., an expert researcher in addiction and health sciences at the University of Adelaide in Australia, falling in love can feel almost the same as taking your first drug or taste of alcohol.
“When you [first] fall in love, you can feel ecstatic like with initial drug or alcohol use,” says Buisman-Pijlman. She goes on to add, “When the thrill of new love subsides, you could be left with a psychological dependence where you think you need the other person.”
A relationship expert with more than 40 years’ worth of experience named Margaret Paul, Ph. D. happens to share the same sentiment. “We can get addicted to people just as we can to alcohol or food,” says Paul. “It’s a form of self-abandonment where you use another person to avoid responsibility for your feelings,” Paul claims that whenever you fall in love with someone, you are in danger of losing your sense of self. And whenever that happens, it can compromise your mental health, professional life, and other social relationships.
If you want to know whether you’re addicted to your partner to an almost unhealthy level, then you just need to stay on the lookout for these signs. If a lot of the things on this list actually apply to you, then it’s likely that you are addicted to your partner.
1. You are always looking for your partner in a compulsive manner to the point that you are miserable.
You obsess over where your partner’s whereabouts are. You are always trying to figure out where your partner is because you just can’t seem to put your mind at ease unless you’re fully aware of their activities.
2. You have sex with your partner during inappropriate moments.
If you and your partner are always having sex, that isn’t necessarily a problem. However, it can be problematic when you’re having sex during inappropriate moments in the most inappropriate places.
3. You break your own rules and boundaries in your relationship.
You know that you are addicted to your relationship when you set rules for it but you end up breaking them anyway. If you can’t even respect the boundaries that you set for your own self, then you know that your better judgment is being compromised.
4. You spend too much of your cash on your relationship.
You know that you’re very addicted to your relationship when you are spending too much cash on it. You can’t be financially irresponsible for the sake of your relationship. That’s a very poor way to go about sustaining a life and relationship.
5. You find it difficult to be happy without your partner.
You shouldn’t really have too much trouble trying to find happiness in your life outside of your relationship. You need to always be able to find other things to be happy about. Otherwise, you are placing too much pressure on your relationship. And that is a very deliberate sign of addiction.
6. Your sense of self-worth is dependent on your relationship.
You should never be tying your sense of self-worth to your relationship. You should always be living a life for yourself that you could be proud of. You always have to make sure that you can be proud of yourself regardless if you’re in a relationship or not.
7. You only ever feel alive when the two of you are together.
The only time you ever feel like you are alive is when the two of you are together. Not to say that it’s bad for you to feel alive when you are with your partner. But it’s definitely bad when it’s the ONLY time that you feel alive.
8. You are deathly afraid of being alone.
If you find yourself being so afraid of being alone, then that could be a sign that you are addicted to your relationship. You have become so dependent on your relationship that you are now so afraid of whatever the alternative is going to be.
9. You neglect your other responsibilities because your relationship takes too much of your time.
You know that you are addicted to your relationship whenever you start acting like the other aspects of your life just don’t exist anymore. You have practically made the relationship your entire life and you don’t really devote any time or energy to anything else.