You are never really going to be able to make a relationship work unless both you and your partner are genuinely invested in it. At the base of your relationship, you have to be able to love one another. And then from your love, you have to be able to build on your compatibility as a couple. You have to work on your chemistry, passion, intimacy, affection, communication, and whatnot. However, none of these things are ever really going to matter unless you love one another.
That’s why you should always consider it to be a real red flag if you have a partner whose feelings of love for you might not be as practical or as authentic as you initially thought. You never want to end up investing yourself in a relationship with someone who doesn’t genuinely love you after all. This is why you always want to stay wary and vigilant of the red flags that might be there between the two of you.
If you notice the following red flags in your relationship, then, likely, your partner isn’t really in love with you after all.
1. They make you feel like you have to be someone else.
They never make you feel like you can be okay with who you are. Somehow, there is always something to criticize. Anyhow, there is still something to make fun of. They don’t try to make you feel like you can be your real and genuine self. They never really give you a sense that they love you for who you indeed are.
2. They don’t treat you with respect.
Respect isn’t something that comes naturally to your partner whenever the two of you interact. It’s as if they don’t care about you or your dignity. They say mean things to you to put you down. They take advantage of your time and your patience. They make you for granted. They use you as a commodity more than as an actual human being.
3. They don’t prioritize you.
They don’t try to prioritize you in everyday life. They don’t make it a point to make you feel like you are one of the most influential people to them at all. It’s almost as if you always have to come second to something else. It’s either they’re going to prioritize their friends, job, or even family over you every single time.
4. They don’t apologize for when they screw up.
They aren’t perfect in the relationship, but they would never admit it. They would never willingly own up to their mistakes and their shortcomings. It’s as if they won’t allow their pride to be let go in favor of the relationship. They don’t try to apologize to you whenever they screw up at all. They’re just okay with disappointing you and making you feel bad.
5. They don’t talk about the future with you.
They don’t show any initiative to discuss the future with you. It’s almost as if they don’t see a future where the two of you are even still together. They’re always just coasting along and doing their own thing. They don’t concern themselves with where the relationship is going because it seems like they’re not all that invested in it.
6. They don’t show a willingness to compromise.
Compromise is always going to be an essential factor in determining the longevity and success of a relationship. If your partner doesn’t show a willingness to compromise, it’s probably because they are still selfish and they don’t love you enough to give up their desires and selfish needs. Perhaps it’s because they don’t like you for real.
7. They don’t express an interest in your life.
They don’t try to express any sincere interest in your life at all. They don’t ask you much about the stuff that you might be dealing with at work. They don’t ask you about the things that you’re most passionate about. They don’t try to participate in your most favorite hobbies. They seem entirely aloof about your life and your personality.
8. They don’t open up to you deeply.
They don’t try to open up to you on an intimate capacity. It’s as if they’re completely okay with just keeping you at a distance. They don’t want to open up to you and make it seem like they are comfortable with doing so. You always have to force information out of them. They never really make you feel like they trust you enough.
9. They don’t stay mindful of your needs.
And lastly, they don’t stay mindful of your needs. They’re always just going along doing their own thing and making themselves happy. But your happiness never seems to be taken into consideration at all.
So true! My love ran deep for him! I tried to get him to open up to me all the time period and he just don’t. He pushes me away constantly. Even though he claims he loves me his actions says he don’t. This is a man I have been in a relationship with off and on for last for the last 13 years. I really miss my fiance who passed away in may.. He was my true soul mate!
I’m guilty. This article was good. My boyfriend of 7 years is pretty great. He lives me more than I love him I think. I AM very selfish and stuck in my old single ways. I don’t compromise much, I usually beat to my own drum unfortunately. I’ve had trauma in the past that doesn’t allow me to open up to him. When I have, his reactions are not good.
Quite nice and interesting and I have to comment for the first time
My baby daddy and his wife are controlling and everything he shows they shouldn’t with anyone or with each other.
U sound bitter and ur comment has nothing to do with this post
I would have to agree on every level I have seen each one of these red flags . I continue to stay he is incarcerated now due to his ..hOW shall I put it HIS “CAreer” choice as a criminal . He continues to demand , get angry , cut me off …My GUT tells me something is up. I actually decided to do a people search , reverse phone look ups , social media accounts , anything I could find .WOW…I was shocked , sad , disappointed- the amount of accounts , names , abbreviations, email accounts , phone numbers ..he used my phone a lot (going ingognito , black screen , erased search history …? really ,,,HUGE RED FLAG, hook up accounts , websites , old texts looking for a female driver (LIKE WTF), amongst lots of phones , he loses them , breaks them , I find 🚩, google chat , ok Cupid, Tinder ..the list goes on ..🚩🚩🚩🚩 These damn red flags won’t stop blowing in the wind ..lol
I don’t know why it’s so hard for me to admit I pick the guys who will never truly love me. Then I’m the one who doesn’t love them they say. I can’t disagree to a point. I need to love myself first after I figure out who I truly am. I know I go for men I know aren’t really wanting the real thing. Then I don’t have to invest as much into something I can’t give either at the moment. But I’m honest about it. And if a man isn’t going to put in the effort but say he is. Then I know he isn’t going to be the one. It’s sad for both of us really . Cause we could be missing out on something beautiful. Or it could be we are what we need at the moment. But ladies you know what you deserve and you have to know your worth it. Then the right guy will find you. Us women sometimes do not give ourselves enough credit or love. When it right there will be no doubts you will know. You won’t have to wonder.
True i should leave him from the beginning, and now after 8 yrs i found out he is cheating for more than a yr without my knowledge..
Great article- It came just in time as I am dealing with this with a woman i just met. She wanted me to walk away from my career of $ 6 figures with the best healthcare in the world to be with her, yet never allowing us to see each other face to face. Now I understand why so many men prefer to be single…
I am in a 38 year relationship with my high school sweetheart and we have all the red flags. I went to the military the first year after graduation and she felt that she never wanted to trust me and had resentment towards me for abandoning her. Fast forward 4 years in come home the respect was not there cheating lies back and forth making me feel guilty and I still hung around. Planning a future got married had a child still had infidelity and sneaking out. 11 years later separated for 9 months and I felt like I had no self esteem wanted her back though it was for Love and my daughter. After getting back together year later had another child she wanted to prove herself by coming back and proving that she was into me. Red flag again. We can’t communicate kids grow up and move on just us and I am still not a priority in the relationship. Church and activities are the forefront now. I should’ve, could’ve and would’ve left but 38 years and still here. I truly don’t know how to find my self through all of this. Bid Red Flag…