Does he have a side chick?
Unfaithfulness is becoming all too rampant these days. It’s as if the culture of today’s youngsters just encourages them to stay away from commitment. Or perhaps there’s a certain fear there that is instilled in people that actually prevent them from just falling in love with a single person. Whatever the case, there’s no denying that there are still so many relationships out there that end because of infidelity.
And of course, you would never want to be the one who gets cheated on in a relationship. You never want to find out that the person you love the most in the world is actually finding love elsewhere. There’s a certain pain that comes from that situation that is unlike any other.
So it’s absolutely imperative that you stay guarded. While it’s good to just let yourself fall for someone without restraint sometimes, you also have to make sure that you aren’t so reckless about it. As a strong woman, you have to make sure that you keep yourself protected from the pitfalls of heartbreak. And the way that you can do that is to make sure that you don’t get blindsided by your partner’s unfaithful antics.
And the way that you can tell that is if you actually seek out the signs. But you have to be careful about this. Yes, you don’t want to be a person who ends up being made a fool out of. But you also don’t want to be the person who abruptly ends a relationship because you’re just being overly paranoid about things.
You still want to be calculated about it. You still want to be mature about it. Just because you see the signs are there doesn’t mean that your partner really is cheating on you. And if you do end up being sure that your partner is actually cheating on you, then you have to do something about it. You have to confront them about it and either end things or find a way to move forward in your relationship together.
So make sure to keep yourself protected. Arm yourself with the right information. Know what you have to be looking for and you’ll be able to spot the sins quickly. Here are 13 signs that he actually has another girl in his life and you need to act fast.
1. He starts smelling like other women.
He starts spending more time with other women; and sometimes, their scents will start to stick to him. So if he starts smelling like other women, then you can be suspicious.
2. He tries to pin the blame on you.
It’s a classic diversion tactic. He doesn’t want you to go sniffing around his life, and so he’s going to try to make it seem like you are the one who is under investigation here.
3. Your instincts are telling you that something is off.
Trust your gut. Your instincts are there for a reason. They are always trying to look after you. Sometimes, your emotions can cloud your logic and keep you blinded. But your instincts are never going to lie to you.
4. He becomes more protective with his phone and computers.
All of the evidence is there. He doesn’t want you to be snooping around his phone because he will be found out.
5. He keeps acting nice to overcompensate.
He is very guilty about cheating on you. He knows that what he’s doing is such a terrible thing. And that’s why he’s acting on his guilt by trying to overcompensate. He’s going to act overly nice towards you just to try to relieve himself of his guilt.
6. He grows more distant from you.
Both physically and emotionally. He will start to ask for more physical space. And he’s also going to be less open to you about how he feels and what he thinks.
7. There is a substantial change in your sex life.
Whether that’s a good change or a bad change, a substantial change is always a bad sign. If things get worse, then it’s probably because he is finding sexual satisfaction elsewhere. And if things get better, again, it’s probably because he’s just trying to overcompensate.
8. He acts all secretive about his whereabouts.
He doesn’t really want you to know where he is throughout the day. He isn’t going to want to be transparent towards you. He doesn’t want to be too open because he knows that you’re not going to be happy when you find out what he’s up to.
9. He picks fights with you.
He’s obviously unhappy in the relationship and that’s why he’s seeking love elsewhere. And he’s also going to take out his frustrations about your relationship on you by trying to pick fights with you. He will argue with you about the littlest things. And he will throw fits about the simplest mistakes just to stick it to you.
Talk to me:
Ladies, has this ever happened to you? Speak your mind in the comments below!
This is going on in my life right now. All the things you mention are there. I know he’s cheating and he continues to deny it. Meanwhile behind my back right under my nose he is letting family people we both know that he has a girlfriend. My kids know heres the worst part no one will tell me the truth. No one. They all keep their mouths shut for him. Hes a horrible piece of shit.
Girlfriend, Why are you staying? Leave him and get some therapy. Get help. Find your support network. YOU are worth it!
Dear, sorry to advise you, how sad it is but leave him! After short or longer time you will feel yourself much better with respectful with your self!
I get paranoid that my partner is cheating or spending money on prostitutes, as he keeps cancelling his bills some weeks and our sex life isn’t active nor the greatest…..I have told him my concerns and he swears he would never ruin a good thing with me, he would never cheat …. My instincts ain’t strong hence why I overthink am I paranoid….he never hides his ohone, gives me access to his passwords and phone…it is just paranoia…
Just pretend like you don’t know. Nagging will only drive him further away. Start distancing yourself from him and acting unbothered by his shady behavior. It will make him wonder what is going on with you. Maybe you should look for someone else while taking advantage of the benefits of being in a partnership. 💲⏱ maybe get some Botox or something to make you feel better about yourself. Make him worry. But do not be a Nag. It accomplishes nothing.
Agreed
I like this. Fierce!!
What OMG you just gave her the worst advice I’m sorry but you really need therapy
Get a tracker on his car. Get your peace, this is a terrible place to be in limbo. Life’s too short.
Can you afford to go away for few few days to think about yourself and your life? Do you have a relative or friend you can stay with ?
Leave the kids with him and please remember you have a self and you matter.
Just enjoy your life go out with friends don’t touch his phone make yo self busy and be happy all the time Just focus with your kids Take them out life is too short dear
I feel for you because I’m going through the same sh*t. I just don’t understand why they do that or why we even stay with them. Love and prayers
I am so sorry. It is a horrible feeling not knowing. I have a situation where my signifcant other has received gifts for our child from female direct report of $150.00 worth of our child’s favorite things, personal gift- belt buckle of his favorite brand from another female direct report , texts from direct report female asking if he was afraid she was going to send inappropriate pics, pics of said female with bikini top sent to his personal phone , setting up a separate Apple ID, purchasing separate VPN to utilize , tons of porn/ dating site emails in our inbox, Skype site with sext chat app, keeps work phone on ringer with his Face ID only and keeps personal phone on silent for my texts all day and never responds unless the kids send a group message. When I try to tell him why I feel something is wrong and his actions make me feel like something is going on, that I feel ignored and unloved after 25 yrs he says it’s my fault because I keep asking but he has done nothing wrong. I tried to explain his actions make me feel like something is going on – he says that I’m making things up in my head. When I try to talk to him about it, he says no one cares and he will not tell me again to stop. He tells me that unless I quit saying stupid stuff and stop making things up in my head he will divorce me because it is all my fault . I try to tell him I didn’t take gifts, send inappropriate texts from female employees that report to him, I didn’t look at porn, I didn’t download a sexy chat app, I didn’t take exchange texts with female direct employees then delete them. He drinks almost every night and when the alcohols kicks in – he likes to tell me I’m a POS, Im terrible person, Im a fking idiot, I’m trash, and recently said to me in front of our children “ Im a better parent than you will ever be “. He says that no one cares but me and I need to get over it. I have spent the last 25 years taking care of him, our home, our children, and try to always be there. He just said my nagging is pushing him away and if I don’t stop he will just divorce me and be much happier. I don’t know what to do. I started marriage therapy buy myself and went for a few months but he wouldn’t join me bc he said it is worthless. I don’t know what to do anymore – hang on or just give up. I’m tired of crying myself to sleep, I’m tired of trying to be over the top and get nothing in return.
Gas lighting you over his guilt
He will actually drive you to the point of insanity over his lies.
He will ruin your kids by you staying in this situation.
Focus on you only and put a plan in action to leave.
Stay quite.
When I was trying to make my decision to stay or leave, I started thinking about what am I teaching my children? Do you teach them that living this way of seeing you down, depressed, anxious, unhappy, arguing is the way to live? Leaving is hard (especially if you’re codependent) and some say I’ll stay for the kids. We are like mirrors, we teach children to be codependent or be strong, sad and unhappy all the time or go ahead and go through the changes and start living and taking care of yourself. I got to point that I had nothing to give anymore. I left because I wanted our children to set healthy boundaries. We had 7 children and 22 years of marriage. If I can do it for myself/them so can you. It is unfamiliar territory to put yourself first sometimes. But you take from the relationship and grow!
Dear broken heart, I’m here to tell you it sounds like he’s up to nothing good. And he most likely is doing shit he had no business doing, unfortunately I’m sorry to say this to you because you seem to be a good person and your not trash either. Remember when someone is doing wrong they will display the same behavior you were talking about in this message. And there’s nothing wrong with you it sounds like you have tried to your best abilities and he’s the one with the wrong intentions. When someone is wrong about something they will point the fingers at you and try to point out everything THEY thinks wrong with you. But truth is they are being advasive and shady because they don’t want to have a conversation about it with you because they are being the person who is cheating n lieing. And when someone is thinking about having sex with others like watching porn and getting on stupid ass dating sites. Hopefully he gets one that is really a man on the profile that looks like a dirty fat slob that is working under some pics they found off the Internet trying to scam men for their money. And who is he sending those gifts to of they weren’t sent to you his wife,?: I’m telling you broken heart he’s not being honest with you and don’t be a fool and allow him to walk all over you and break the ties you committed to him with when you guys said, I do. And believe me God sees everything and he didn’t miss this my friend. I will be praying for you and your children. I pray that you find a good man who appreciates a good woman and loves you with all he has. You deserve to be loved to pieces dear remember that your worth is everything protect it with all you are.god bless your heart my friend. Amén
Put secret money aside and make a plan.
I feel for you ….just damp him and move on with your life. You are never too old to start again. I found love at the age of 62 and for the first time in my life I can genuinely say that I found my soulmate.
Me too it hurts 4 yrs and the change
Yes I have been though this before but I am happy to have that person out of my life
Best thing to do is to have a seat down and say you know everything (even if you don’t). Then proposed to be separated. If he accepts rebuild yourself and your life, you need time for yourself, focus on yourself and share custody with the kids. The other woman she’s just his pleasure.. You build your family together the only way he will realise that is when you get separated.. it will be hard at first but time will tell if is worth it..
Well hes minipulated me for awhile
But i do feel hes cheating with someone in family and my kids know. Subliminal messages. On fb. Says he brought someone to my house. To shower. My futon bed was broke. Alot of things are there to tell me its true…..he denys it tells me im crazy.
Girl I got cameras to show I wasn’t crazy and Walmart has them for $20 and it records 24/7
whaaaaaaat. 20.00
I am on that , I would pay to read his text messages he is SO entranced with & all smiley . He is the biggest ” Turd ” I’d leave him , but. The Hell if I want to see that bastard Happy w/ some younger dumb chick ….no
I don’t think he is psychically cheating on me, however the majority of his friends are women.
All of those are there for me as well. He says that I’m controlling, by telling him who he can and cannot talk to, or who he can and can’t talk to, yet that 8snt what is said to him at all. He is asked not to get on these dating sites, asked not to talk to other females sexually, and asked not to hang out with females behind my back, yet here we are fighting again because he is now staying out all night telling me he is doing 1 thing when I know that he isn’t, I have really bad mental health right now and feel as though I’m a burden to everyone that I’m around, he will tell me that it isn’t true, but his actions say something completely different, and I get told all the time that if he didn’t want me around then he wouldn’t have me staying in his home. We talked about everything that has happened in our past relationships, and what we expected out of the next one, and yet he is doing everything that he said he didn’t do and didn’t want done to him. Yet he doesn’t feel like he is doing anything wrong and I’m just acting crazy. I told him that I wouldn’t act crazy if he wouldn’t be doing the things that he is doing lately.
He’s a narcissistic pig, move out n don’t look back!
Amen! Leave his ass.
Basically!!! Get your peace of mind back a do you..
You shouldn’t be asking for any of these things in a solid relationship. Jus sayin
The moment I hear all female friends…….. F**k No, how old are you if you don’t mind me asking?
Well im going though just the same when we wasnt living together he would make up stuff that his mum was calling him late at night and then a little bit further down the line other woman would call him saying when is he going to see them again then i have one of his exs add me on fb and asks about him then but i loved him before that happened and sort of do now but i still think hes up to his old tricks but so instead of finding another man at the moment im just stopping alot of things that involve him to see if he comes clean about seeing other woman because we dont sit together in the evenings and hes mosty on his phone and when ive asked lately is there someone else he just gets mad and says no but he wont answer calls when im around him and some times when he has to go out he used to call me but has seemed to of stopped that now as well now whitch again seems strange to me but just hope i get my answers soon
Ya every single symptom mentioned is what I’m dealing with for about a year and a half now. If it is the case the opportunity to get Hard proof is inevitable. I’m a good detective stealth like the pink panther. And if my instincts are off or I’m just paroniod. NBD. I keep it on the low. Never let em see you sweat. Keeps em off guard and in the mean time practice self care and keep my heart protected keep my cool until I’m 100 percent convinced. I dont know why but maybe I have issues myself cuz I kind of get a rush when I use all of my senses to crack a case.
This is the same with a cheating woman
That’s what I’m facing right now. I do literally everything at home, and she is out not telling me where she is, coming home smelling like Mexican cologne and she’s 240lbs white and always gets hollared at by them so that is pretty funny, she is overly nice after freak out fights over nothing, she stopped having sex, hides her phone and we are drifting apart. I’ve also been cheated on many times and I’m just done. I want to be alone.
You’re right but once we cheat is because were done. And won’t deny it
Our sex life never change, we bother have high sex drives, and he was always the type to spoil me so when the gifts and kind gestures got more grand I thought it was because he truly valued me but my gut knew. Was cheating on my for 4 months in our home!!!
This happens to both men and women. Trust your gut. If something is off, it usually is. It may not mean something bad is happening, but it does mean a conversation needs to happen. Transparency!!!
This happened to me n these signs I have experienced them all
Currently going through this. Been together for 10 years. And I’ve took all I can take. Nobody should be n a relationship if they want to be with someone else or is having to sneak and do stuff. Stop wasting everyone’s time and let them go so they can move on and find someone who will treat them right. A person that does this is weak, pathetic and deserves every bit of karma they get. When my relationship is over I will never again allow this to happen to me. Ladies please stop letting people do this to u. It’s never going to stop until u put a stop to it. Good luck to anyone dealing with this bullshit. I feel for ya.
“When” your relationship is over. Do you mean you’re going to stay? 🤦🏾♀️
I lived with a guy who used to disappear every Saturday night to town with £10, coming home smashed. He would leave his phone with a bouncer at the pub and then go to see his side chick. On friend finder it looked like he was where he said he was!
I know he dont care about anymore
But how can i make sure the words coming iut from his mouth is true from his heart?
Im tired with my partner now i find someone to talk and i feel completely different about my self and i wanna move on and leave him..i get cheated many times
But i forgive.but now my feelings is totally different
I hate him just
💯 right
Omg yes. They’re such weasels. If you want out just say so or go already. Wth ? Why torture someone that at one time obviously meant something to you
My BF of three years, lived together the whole time, got ENGAGED and I didn’t know for a week. He had all these signs. Three days after they announced it on her FB,he came home for two nights and acted like nothing was up, even had sex both nights. Coward wouldn’t talk to me for over a week after I found out. An absolute narcissist, I’m glad he’s gone.
Roles reversed that is exactly what is happening with my girlfriend.
Same here men are not the only ones I how ever was luck enough to find messages on her phone where the two of them had chatted about where to meet how much they loved each other unfortunately didn’t see those until after I bought new lingerie that I thought I was going to get to see her in but no the married man she was seeing got to see her first just so devastated and heart broken therapy here I come 😢😢😢
Hi. I’m a Man and I’ve read this article and it’s very true and to the point. I’m going through a lot of what’s stated here with my Wife. I did this role reversal when I’ve read it just to see if anything matched, and a lot of them did! I never thought that after eight years together, there would be a shift in our marriage, but I guess I thought wrong. I’m not going to slam her for what she’s done to this marriage, that’s GOD’S job, yet, I’m moving forward with divorce in mind and allow GOD to give me my forever Queen in and for the future. Thank you for posting this article. GOD Bless you!🙂
Yeah
He’s been acting very strange and we used to have $ex alot but now we can stay up to 5 days without $ex, and everytime we have hell complain of certain pains
I was seeing this guy for 3months everything was great then suddenly one day he told me that we should be friends he doesn’t want to commit. He also said he doesn’t want to loose me because he really likes me. I asked him if there’s another woman he said no. Am so confused
All above ☝️ in my heart ❤️ my. Life
Run!! Don’t walk don’t look back & don’t leave any traces of where you have gone. This is mental/verbal damaging (abuse) & make sure you have used all resources (support) available to you outside of family since they seem to be welcoming this new person into your relationship on their own you will need outside help. Again never look back you will appreciate your new life finding someone who is yours & only yours.
If your sleeping w/him that all stops when it’s just friends. This is not a friends w/benefits, unless that’s all you would like too. If that seems like something you don’t mind then more power to ya & enjoy the friends playtime anytime situation while finding Mr. Right along the way.
Anybody else realize that there weren’t 13 signs? There were only 9!
Men who are in a relationship do fine. Men who cheat do fine. Men who work a f/t job do fine. Men who do work on the side do fine. Men who are men do fine. Nothing to see here.
I went through this for 9 years with someone. And I knew from the start that he was a cheater! I knew better, yet I could not let go. It’s been 6 months since Ive seen or talked to him. He just disappears…like the coward he is. What we put up with we end up with! No thanks. Never again.
He cheated on me and got caught but denies it. My gut is telling me all this time that something is off. I tried to listen my gut and yes it’s confirmed. He said his sorry, I don’t know if it’s sincere but I tried forgiving him, even tho it still hurts me. I stayed with him because we are married but honestly, I’m tired of the relationship.
So obviously I’m not a woman but I am dealing with this kind of mess myself. These signs ring true for women also. I think it should be changed and say he\she and so forth throughout.
There are also other reason for this behavior, like an over aggressive/narcissistic partner (one who talks down to you, belittles you, puts words in your mouth or compares you to ‘all men/women’ in an accusatory tone lumping you in with ‘umbrella’ terms/name calling &/or everything is about them, their situation instead of the goals of the relationship), sudden legal or financial problems with unknown outcomes & ambiguous deadlines can be another reason (trying to figure things out alone rather than together), and medical issues (chronic medical conditions can act up at various times of the year making communicating and articulating wants/needs/desires difficult or misconstrued). I’d agree some of the listing’s above CAN BE signs, but if you’re the kind of person who needs to check someone else’s phone every day, that can drive the other person away & have the exact opposite effect you’re looking for. I understand pain and trauma from the past can play a factor in all of the above. We currently live in a myopic society which has lost faith and trust in others.
My whole hearted advice to anyone reading this article is to get right with God. If you and your partner are focused on your higher power and each other together, mountains can be moved. Hurt can be healed. Love can be restored. Faith, trust, and good communication can restore and or avoid issues this article brings up.
And yes, these ‘relationship rules’ articles need to be addressed to both male & females rather than stoking stereotypes or pitting one side against the other. Modern actualities should be to find solutions rather than make insideous claims or accusatory statements. Some good info otherwise. If you find yourself in any of the above situations, talk to the person. If the behavior continues, set boundaries then prepare to leave if nothing changes.
Yes.Agreed. Everything is about the always about the men…even the amount of social media that gives woman advise on how to attract a man.ir keep him. It’s exhausting.
This is why at the beginning of every relationship I tell the guy look I understand if you find yourself attracted to another female I get it that’s only normal especially if you’ve been together with your chick for awhile i tell them to not lie to me about it and let me know who she is and I’ll see if she’s down to do a 3sum. What bothers me is the lying part just don’t lie. I mean I can even understand if he did it with some other female since me and my dude been together 9years but if your doing her alone it better be some chick I’ll never run into or isn’t from our circle of friends and that also means I get to do the same ya know. And you think me telling him all this in the beginning he’d have no issues and wouldn’t lie to me right? Wrong!! He screwed 2 females in our circle of friends that were complete downgrades and made me look like a fool!!! So idk what to do anymore….
I think this articles is right he got a sidechiks
TJ. My man has cheated on me . Since then we are trying to get past it. It’s very hard for me to trust him now. We are not married I am his fiancé. Before this happened I trusted him with everything that I have in me. I didn’t even think of not trusting him. Now that’s all I think about especially if he’s told me he’s going to sleep and he’s been on Facebook for hours after he told me he was going to sleep. I feel like he is talking to another girl. Because that’s how he started cheating. He found her on Facebook. I want very much to move on and forget about it, but it is hard. What can I do to help me. I love him very much but this is really eating at me. If you have some advice I would appreciate it. Thank you
I have been there lately and it really broke my heart.🥲 I confronted my husband we talked about it. He said there’s nothing about them. I forgive him but I just couldn’t stop thinking about it. Every time I read about their chat the pain would be there in my heart. It is just like the knife is still embedded in my heart.🥹
You forgot some …. They start wearing Cologne.when They’re going to work when he never use to. Dressing up when there’s no reason for it when he’s supposed to be going to work. Say he’s going to drop off apart and disappears for two or three hours.
This all to close to home for me. My husband has shown almost all these signs and STILL denies that the woman I know his is his side chick. I moved out almost 4 months ago and he is begging me to move back but tells people that he is with this other girl. Makes me sick everyday!!!
Just his phone I have a problems with the sex is the same has before we spend together and friends. But I still believe something is wrong somewhere. He doesn’t like how I speak to him sometimes and he will avoid me for days by not talking to me .how can I fixs how I make him feel more of a man then a boy .
This was happening to me recently the only difference is he was starting argument’s with me and defending the person he is sleeping with behind my back like I’m the side peace being kicked to the curve after the wife or gf found out.
I’ve been married for 24 years. Very young!!
I was married twice before.
But I started over after the last divorce.
I had a really nice little house. It was a small Cape Cod.
I Love it! Finally started over. I’m
Lived there for almost ten years.
Long story short.. the man I met up with was starting over with my first husband.
My children are all grown. We have 9 beautiful grandchildren. I lost my oldest son 3 years ago.
So much guilt I carry. I feel like I failed him.
Now I’m with a man like his father was.
I’m so grateful that all the children are grown.
Married and have beautiful children.
How did I get back to where I started.
I’m 63 and feel it’s too late.
Absolutely 100 on that I have always been able to feel the subtle changes it’ll be in his behavior, his mood even start to push away or isolate from you. But the number one thing that has never steered me wrong and that is my intuition my gut and that is when my detective skills start to come in to play, I always tell a man from day one don’t lie to me and don’t cheat on me because I will know and when I know I will find out the truth and the whole truth I will gather my evidence and I will shove it so far up your you know what he’ll be spitting out staples for a month lol and yes, I do not confront until I have proof, evidence and hand. I was able to on accident mind you. This was pure fate, but meant to me our phones accidentally were bound together through text messages. I was trying to get an app for my. lol and yes, I do not confront until I have proof, evidence and hand. I was able to on accident mind you. This was pure fate, but meant to me our phones accidentally were bound together through text messages. I was trying to get a app for my he offered to scan the QR code off of his upon doing so I started receiving his text messages I already had a feeling prior before that he was being unfaithful and he did not do what We had discussed and talked about but instead did the opposite man screenshots and lots of copies the best part is when the mother-in-law hates you wanted her to hate you more. Send her the disgusting text messages and pictures along with them. Lmfao 🤣
I know the problem is me… The argument part he does devastates me. I’m a Muslim. We live in different countries and need my papers to process (will take some time) until we live together. Let me say one of many arguments he does: I was raised by strict parents and not that comfortable in “relationships”. We got married last year in January. As he is the first man I touched in my life, I was so shy that I couldn’t take any initiatives… It’s been 1.5 years since our marriage and in every argument I have to hear “you didn’t even let me touch you on our wedding night”. I even apologized for it as I was shy and I am not used to be around men yet he talks like this and disrespects me. It hurts and whatever I do is never enough… And he has a habit of exaggerating stuff “for 5 years you only learned to do this” I know him for only about 3 years max… There are so many immature arguments and it makes me feel like I am the problem and I can’t take the time to improve myself… Yes I am the problem as many times he disrespects and don’t talk to me nicely about the things he wants, I don’t do or try to do it for him at all. It just doesn’t come from heart like “oh he wants me to do this let me do it” instead it’s like “he disrespected me and talking the way I don’t like so I’m not ever going to do this for him”
I look for someone experienced in relationships to hear my problems see my screeshot and tell me what I am doing wrong. I just feel so hopeless (I will copy paste this in some other comments to know if leaving this relationship is a good idea)