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All About Men

9 Signs That He Actually Has Another Girl (Side Chick) In His Life

Relationship Rules Editorial Team Relationship Rules Editorial Team | January 22, 2018 | 11 min read

You’re sitting on your couch, phone in hand, trying to focus on a movie. But your mind is somewhere else. You just got a text from him. A little too vague. A little too late. You scroll through your messages, looking for something—anything—that feels real. Instead, you find silence. Or worse, a message that doesn’t quite add up. Your gut twists. You try to ignore the nagging feeling at first. You tell yourself he might just be busy. But deep down, something tells you he’s not fully there with you. You’re not stupid. You’ve seen those signs before, or maybe you’ve felt them creeping in slowly, like shadows at dusk.

You don’t want to admit it. You don’t want to be the person who overthinks or jumps to conclusions. But the truth is staring you in the face. There’s a reason you’re searching for the signs he is emotionally distant. There’s a reason you’re wondering if there’s another girl in his life. And it’s not just about jealousy or fear. It’s about knowing where you stand. It’s about protecting your heart before it breaks.

Here are 9 signs that he actually has another girl in his life. These are not just little hints. These are truths wrapped in everyday moments you’ve lived. Moments that tell you he’s not just “busy” or “stressed.” Moments that show the slow distance he’s putting between you and where his attention really is.


1. He’s Suddenly Hard to Reach — Like He’s Ghosting You

He used to answer your texts right away. He used to call you just to hear your voice. Now? His phone goes straight to voicemail. Or he replies hours later, with short, clipped answers that feel like they’re not meant for you — but for anyone, really. He’s not rude, but you can tell he’s avoiding you.

Imagine this: You’re sitting by your phone, waiting for that “good morning” text you used to get. Hours pass. No text. Finally, you send one yourself. “Hey, everything okay?” A reply comes back late, vague, “Yeah, busy day.” You know it’s more than that. You know he’s hiding behind his words.

The deeper truth is — when a man truly cares, he makes time. Not always perfect time, but enough time to make you feel you matter. When he’s emotionally distant, that gap grows. His silence isn’t just about being occupied; it’s about pulling away. When there’s someone else, excuses become the armor to hide behind.

And that’s the painful truth — he’s not too busy for you, he’s too busy for the truth. And that hurts more than anything else.


2. His Stories Don’t Add Up — He Forgets What He Told You

He tells you he was at work late. Then you hear from a mutual friend that he was somewhere else. He says he met a buddy for drinks, but the places don’t match. You catch these little slip-ups more often than you’d like.

Picture this: You’re at dinner, casually asking about his day. He’s telling you about a meeting that ran late. You nod, but your mind races. You remember a text he sent earlier that afternoon — “Meeting canceled.” That moment sinks in. Does he think you won’t notice? That you’ll just let it slide?

Here’s the deeper truth: When someone’s mind is split between two lives, forgetfulness isn’t just accidental — it’s the brain’s defense mechanism. The more he juggles stories, the harder it is to keep them straight. His confusion isn’t just about where he was; it’s about who he’s prioritizing.

And that’s the real sign you need to hear: If his stories don’t add up, it’s because his heart is divided. And you deserve the whole truth, not half a story.


3. He’s Defensive When You Ask Simple Questions

You ask where he’s been. You ask who he was with. It’s not accusatory—just curious. But his reaction? Sudden coldness. A sharp tone. Deflection. He’s not just avoiding the question; he’s shutting down the conversation before it can even start.

Think about this: You’re texting, casually trying to know his plans for the weekend. Instead of an answer, you get, “Why do you care so much?” or worse, “You’re overthinking.” You feel your chest tighten. This isn’t how a partner talks. This is how someone hides.

Why does this happen? When a man has something to hide, questions feel like threats. His defensiveness is a shield, not a bridge. It’s not about trust, but fear. Fear that if he admits the truth, everything will fall apart.

And here’s the hard truth: Defensiveness isn’t just a bad mood; it’s a flashing red sign that something’s wrong. Trust isn’t built on silence and sharp words.


4. His Phone Is Suddenly a Secret — Always Face Down, Always Locked

He used to hand you his phone without thought. Now the screen is always facing down. Passwords change. Notifications get silenced. The access you had disappears overnight.

Imagine this: You’re sitting together, and his phone buzzes. You glance to see who it is. His hand immediately covers the screen. You never saw that before. The trust that used to be there? It’s vanishing like smoke.

Here’s why this matters: When transparency is replaced by secrecy, it signals distance on a deeper level. He’s protecting something. It might not always be another girl, but it’s definitely not you. Emotional closeness doesn’t shy away from openness. It embraces it.

Remember this: A phone isn’t just a gadget—it’s a window into his world. If that window is covered, what’s he hiding? And more importantly, what does he really want you to see?


5. He Becomes Emotionally Distant In Ways You Can Feel

You don’t always need words to sense the shift. The way he looks at you. The way he laughs without warmth. The way he pulls away when you try to get close—not physically, but emotionally.

Picture a Friday night. You’re sitting side by side, but there’s a wall between you. You ask about his day, and he shrugs. You try to share your feelings, and he changes the subject. You feel invisible. Alone — even though he’s right there.

This is the essence of signs he is emotionally distant. It’s not just about silence or absence. It’s a coldness that seeps into every conversation, every moment. It’s the slow erosion of connection.

Here’s what it reveals: Emotional distance is a symptom, not a cause. It tells you he’s withdrawing for a reason. Often, that reason is another person entering his world and dividing his heart.

And the truth hits hard: When he’s emotionally distant, he’s choosing to protect himself over protecting you. And that choice will change everything.


6. Plans With You Become Few and Far Between

Remember when you used to make weekend plans easily? When “date night” wasn’t a rare event but a regular thing? Now, every invitation feels like pulling teeth. He’s always “too tired,” “too busy,” or “not in the mood.”

Think about a Saturday afternoon. You suggest grabbing coffee, catching up. His reply? “I might have something.” Days go by, and nothing gets confirmed. You cancel your own plans, hoping he’ll make time. But he never does.

Here’s why this is a big deal: Time is the currency of love. When he’s spending less on you, it’s a clear sign where his priorities lie. If there’s another girl, she’s the one getting his weekends, his attention, his energy.

This is what it means: If he’s pulling away from plans, he’s making space for someone else. You’re not an afterthought by accident — you’re being pushed aside.


7. He Stops Sharing His Life With You

The little details matter. The funny story from work. The frustrating meeting. The friend he ran into. Suddenly, those stories stop coming. You’re left guessing. You ask, but get “nothing much” or “same old.” The window into his world closes.

Picture a Sunday morning chat. You ask about his week. He says, “Fine.” No enthusiasm. No curiosity about your day. Just “fine.”

That’s emotional distance in action. He’s shutting you out because his attention is elsewhere. Sharing life is a sign of closeness. Not sharing is a sign of retreat.

Here’s the core truth: When he stops sharing, it’s because his heart isn’t in the conversation. He’s saving it for someone else.


8. You Catch Him In Little Lies About Who He’s With

It’s not always obvious. A name that doesn’t sound right. A place that feels unfamiliar. A story that feels rehearsed. These little lies are not just about what he’s saying; they’re about who he’s hiding.

Imagine this: He tells you he’s with a group of friends. Later, you find out one of those “friends” is a woman you’ve never met. The pieces don’t fit, and it stings.

Why do these lies matter? Because trust is built on truth. When deception creeps in, it’s because he’s covering something bigger. These lies are the cracks in the foundation.

And here’s the bitter truth: If you’re catching little lies, he’s already crossed the line somewhere. And the distance you feel? It’s because he’s splitting his world into halves.


9. He Shows No Interest In Resolving Your Concerns

You bring up your feelings. You say you feel distant. You ask for honesty. But he brushes it off. Changes the subject. Or worse, accuses you of being “too sensitive.” You’re left holding the weight of your worries alone.

Visualize a late-night talk. You say, “I feel like you’re not really here.” He shrugs. “I’m tired.” No apology, no effort to bridge the gap. Just silence — or dismissal.

Here’s the harsh reality: Someone who cares fights for the relationship. Someone who is emotionally distant avoids the fight because it means facing the truth. If he has another girl, he doesn’t want to resolve anything. He wants to keep you at arm’s length.

Remember this: Refusing to address your concerns is a sign he’s already checked out emotionally. And that’s a truth you deserve to see.


Conclusion: When Signs He Is Emotionally Distant Point To Another Girl

Here’s what you need to know: emotional distance isn’t just a feeling. It’s a signal flare. It’s a truth wrapped in silence and secrets. When you see these signs he is emotionally distant, especially in combination, it’s not just about him being distracted or stressed. It’s about his heart being somewhere else. It’s about the presence of another girl in his life, even if he won’t say it out loud.

This woman you’re dealing with isn’t just someone with a partner who’s a little off. She’s someone who’s sensing the divide before it’s spoken. She’s feeling the cold space created by distance. She’s tuning into the truth that words try to hide.

What matters now isn’t just the signs. It’s what you decide to do with them. Because you deserve more than half-truths and empty promises. You deserve someone who’s fully there. Someone who answers your texts. Someone who shares his life. Someone who chooses you — every day.

So trust what you feel. Trust what you see. Signs he is emotionally distant aren’t just warnings; they’re your heart’s way of saying, “Look closer. Don’t settle. You’re worth the whole truth.”

And that’s why you’ll never forget this: You are not the one who’s distant. The distance you feel is his choice. And you don’t have to carry the weight of that choice alone.

Talk to me. Do you see these signs? Have you felt the distance? Let me know in the comments — because no one should ever have to wonder if they’re the only one holding on.

You deserve someone who looks for you in a crowded room, not someone who looks right through you as if you’re a stranger. You deserve a partner whose absence is felt deeply — because it’s only temporary, not because their heart belongs somewhere else. When signs he is emotionally distant start to pile up, pay close attention. Your heart will thank you for listening before it’s too late. Remember, the weight of waiting and wondering isn’t yours to carry alone. You deserve clarity. You deserve honesty. And above all, you deserve to be chosen fully, without hesitation or half-measures.


Comments

Sorted By
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· May 19, 2020

Well hes minipulated me for awhile
But i do feel hes cheating with someone in family and my kids know. Subliminal messages. On fb. Says he brought someone to my house. To shower. My futon bed was broke. Alot of things are there to tell me its true…..he denys it tells me im crazy.

    S
    Star leBlanc · June 4, 2022

    Girl I got cameras to show I wasn’t crazy and Walmart has them for $20 and it records 24/7

      S
      Samantha Steven's · November 20, 2022

      whaaaaaaat. 20.00
      I am on that , I would pay to read his text messages he is SO entranced with & all smiley . He is the biggest ” Turd ” I’d leave him , but. The Hell if I want to see that bastard Happy w/ some younger dumb chick ….no

      F
      Fishing for guidance · August 12, 2024

      What’s the brand ??

    C
    Carilynn Urquhart · August 30, 2022

    I don’t think he is psychically cheating on me, however the majority of his friends are women.

    A
    Ally · January 3, 2026

    These are exactly every thing I am experiencing and I went thru his phone and he’s been cheating when I don’t stay with him. Listen to this article it doesn’t lie.

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Kellie · March 10, 2022

Ya every single symptom mentioned is what I’m dealing with for about a year and a half now. If it is the case the opportunity to get Hard proof is inevitable. I’m a good detective stealth like the pink panther. And if my instincts are off or I’m just paroniod. NBD. I keep it on the low. Never let em see you sweat. Keeps em off guard and in the mean time practice self care and keep my heart protected keep my cool until I’m 100 percent convinced. I dont know why but maybe I have issues myself cuz I kind of get a rush when I use all of my senses to crack a case.

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Michael · March 10, 2022

This is the same with a cheating woman

    L
    LaLyn · April 21, 2022

    You’re right but once we cheat is because were done. And won’t deny it

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Anonymous · March 11, 2022

This happens to both men and women. Trust your gut. If something is off, it usually is. It may not mean something bad is happening, but it does mean a conversation needs to happen. Transparency!!!

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Elsie mbugua · March 20, 2022

This happened to me n these signs I have experienced them all

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Jaymee Tollie · April 21, 2022

He’s a narcissistic pig, move out n don’t look back!

    N
    Noelle · April 21, 2022

    Amen! Leave his ass.

    L
    LaLyn · April 21, 2022

    Basically!!! Get your peace of mind back a do you..

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Emma Willison · April 21, 2022

I lived with a guy who used to disappear every Saturday night to town with £10, coming home smashed. He would leave his phone with a bouncer at the pub and then go to see his side chick. On friend finder it looked like he was where he said he was!

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Ima Notdum · April 21, 2022

You shouldn’t be asking for any of these things in a solid relationship. Jus sayin

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Noelle Bauer · April 21, 2022

Girlfriend, Why are you staying? Leave him and get some therapy. Get help. Find your support network. YOU are worth it!

    H
    Hurhungee · January 10, 2025

    I want to ask can you help me. if you have 3kid with him older one 10ans girl then boy 7ans 4ans then what I have to do….and he is behave like this everyday know I can’t do anything I have to stay for kid
    ..

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      Anand Chanchal · March 23, 2025

      focus on good up bringing of your kids and ignore his this act. be good to him and try to be happy . this is a temporary phase. every father loves his kids.he will be soon back to u and your family. overthinking and over reaction will ruin everything. give him his personal space don’t try to always spy him which will hurt u more ..If u don’t know anything..it won’t hurt. he will be back to u. Just try calm and love him more

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Johanna · April 21, 2022

Dear, sorry to advise you, how sad it is but leave him! After short or longer time you will feel yourself much better with respectful with your self!

    L
    Loe · July 27, 2024

    He could have a gambling addiction or money problems. This can cause depression, anxiety and shame. This can plummet the s*x life. Ask yourself if you’re happy, just talk to him and empathize. You can say “we can get through this, what’s been going on?” Practice self care and take care.

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    Ngozi Shelong · March 18, 2025

    Don’t leave your husband because of another woman except if he goes physical, you can run for your dear life if not be there for your kids and ensure you add value to yourself. You don’t need to be confronting him. just be yourself dear. it’s not easy but just be yourself

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Amal Razzaq · April 22, 2022

I know he dont care about anymore
But how can i make sure the words coming iut from his mouth is true from his heart?
Im tired with my partner now i find someone to talk and i feel completely different about my self and i wanna move on and leave him..i get cheated many times
But i forgive.but now my feelings is totally different
I hate him just

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Ujunwa Collin's · April 22, 2022

💯 right

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Debbie · April 22, 2022

Omg yes. They’re such weasels. If you want out just say so or go already. Wth ? Why torture someone that at one time obviously meant something to you

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Brandin · May 1, 2022

Roles reversed that is exactly what is happening with my girlfriend.

    W
    Wayne Wilson · November 20, 2022

    Same here men are not the only ones I how ever was luck enough to find messages on her phone where the two of them had chatted about where to meet how much they loved each other unfortunately didn’t see those until after I bought new lingerie that I thought I was going to get to see her in but no the married man she was seeing got to see her first just so devastated and heart broken therapy here I come 😢😢😢

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Myron Bird · May 14, 2022

Hi. I’m a Man and I’ve read this article and it’s very true and to the point. I’m going through a lot of what’s stated here with my Wife. I did this role reversal when I’ve read it just to see if anything matched, and a lot of them did! I never thought that after eight years together, there would be a shift in our marriage, but I guess I thought wrong. I’m not going to slam her for what she’s done to this marriage, that’s GOD’S job, yet, I’m moving forward with divorce in mind and allow GOD to give me my forever Queen in and for the future. Thank you for posting this article. GOD Bless you!🙂

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Lucia · May 14, 2022

Yeah

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Cebisile · May 14, 2022

He’s been acting very strange and we used to have $ex alot but now we can stay up to 5 days without $ex, and everytime we have hell complain of certain pains

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Essie · May 21, 2022

I was seeing this guy for 3months everything was great then suddenly one day he told me that we should be friends he doesn’t want to commit. He also said he doesn’t want to loose me because he really likes me. I asked him if there’s another woman he said no. Am so confused

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Deborah · September 6, 2022

“When” your relationship is over. Do you mean you’re going to stay? 🤦🏾‍♀️

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Amanda · September 6, 2022

Just pretend like you don’t know. Nagging will only drive him further away. Start distancing yourself from him and acting unbothered by his shady behavior. It will make him wonder what is going on with you. Maybe you should look for someone else while taking advantage of the benefits of being in a partnership. 💲⏱ maybe get some Botox or something to make you feel better about yourself. Make him worry. But do not be a Nag. It accomplishes nothing.

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    Celina · October 18, 2023

    Agreed

      R
      Regina · March 11, 2025

      Agreed

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    Eileen · October 20, 2023

    I like this. Fierce!!

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    Me · April 14, 2024

    What OMG you just gave her the worst advice I’m sorry but you really need therapy

    M
    Maisy · March 10, 2025

    good advise.
    women are over begging for love. let’s learn to love ourselves and take care of ourselves. let’s learn to find peace and enjoy this life to gals

      Z
      Zandra D. Ruiz · March 29, 2025

      that’s true ma’am Maisy.love our self first, men mostly good in hidding when it comes to cheating.we women are always in blame when they are in cheating.but our instinct is really true even if they not tell us.

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Lois Christian · September 6, 2022

All above ☝️ in my heart ❤️ my. Life

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Ren · September 7, 2022

Run!! Don’t walk don’t look back & don’t leave any traces of where you have gone. This is mental/verbal damaging (abuse) & make sure you have used all resources (support) available to you outside of family since they seem to be welcoming this new person into your relationship on their own you will need outside help. Again never look back you will appreciate your new life finding someone who is yours & only yours.

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RH · September 7, 2022

If your sleeping w/him that all stops when it’s just friends. This is not a friends w/benefits, unless that’s all you would like too. If that seems like something you don’t mind then more power to ya & enjoy the friends playtime anytime situation while finding Mr. Right along the way.

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D Napier · October 17, 2022

The moment I hear all female friends…….. F**k No, how old are you if you don’t mind me asking?

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Dawn Harris · October 17, 2022

Anybody else realize that there weren’t 13 signs? There were only 9!

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Dennis O’Sullivan · October 18, 2022

Men who are in a relationship do fine. Men who cheat do fine. Men who work a f/t job do fine. Men who do work on the side do fine. Men who are men do fine. Nothing to see here.

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Jenifer Ferguson · November 21, 2022

I went through this for 9 years with someone. And I knew from the start that he was a cheater! I knew better, yet I could not let go. It’s been 6 months since Ive seen or talked to him. He just disappears…like the coward he is. What we put up with we end up with! No thanks. Never again.

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Star Woo · October 19, 2023

He cheated on me and got caught but denies it. My gut is telling me all this time that something is off. I tried to listen my gut and yes it’s confirmed. He said his sorry, I don’t know if it’s sincere but I tried forgiving him, even tho it still hurts me. I stayed with him because we are married but honestly, I’m tired of the relationship.

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James Bushdiecker · November 7, 2023

So obviously I’m not a woman but I am dealing with this kind of mess myself. These signs ring true for women also. I think it should be changed and say he\she and so forth throughout.

    J
    J C · December 9, 2023

    There are also other reason for this behavior, like an over aggressive/narcissistic partner (one who talks down to you, belittles you, puts words in your mouth or compares you to ‘all men/women’ in an accusatory tone lumping you in with ‘umbrella’ terms/name calling &/or everything is about them, their situation instead of the goals of the relationship), sudden legal or financial problems with unknown outcomes & ambiguous deadlines can be another reason (trying to figure things out alone rather than together), and medical issues (chronic medical conditions can act up at various times of the year making communicating and articulating wants/needs/desires difficult or misconstrued). I’d agree some of the listing’s above CAN BE signs, but if you’re the kind of person who needs to check someone else’s phone every day, that can drive the other person away & have the exact opposite effect you’re looking for. I understand pain and trauma from the past can play a factor in all of the above. We currently live in a myopic society which has lost faith and trust in others.

    My whole hearted advice to anyone reading this article is to get right with God. If you and your partner are focused on your higher power and each other together, mountains can be moved. Hurt can be healed. Love can be restored. Faith, trust, and good communication can restore and or avoid issues this article brings up.

    And yes, these ‘relationship rules’ articles need to be addressed to both male & females rather than stoking stereotypes or pitting one side against the other. Modern actualities should be to find solutions rather than make insideous claims or accusatory statements. Some good info otherwise. If you find yourself in any of the above situations, talk to the person. If the behavior continues, set boundaries then prepare to leave if nothing changes.

    W
    Walter · May 8, 2024

    Yes.Agreed. Everything is about the always about the men…even the amount of social media that gives woman advise on how to attract a man.ir keep him. It’s exhausting.

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Christye Whitmore · February 21, 2024

Get a tracker on his car. Get your peace, this is a terrible place to be in limbo. Life’s too short.

    K
    Kim orr · May 12, 2025

    Will that work? Thinking about it myself!!

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Anna · February 25, 2024

Can you afford to go away for few few days to think about yourself and your life? Do you have a relative or friend you can stay with ?
Leave the kids with him and please remember you have a self and you matter.

    S
    Sabra · April 11, 2024

    Just enjoy your life go out with friends don’t touch his phone make yo self busy and be happy all the time Just focus with your kids Take them out life is too short dear

      L
      Liaqat Ali · January 20, 2025

      great 👍

      A
      Abasiama nkereuwem nkoko · March 8, 2025

      thank you my dear that’s exactly what I am doing cause it’s happening to me

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Linda Rush · February 26, 2024

I feel for you because I’m going through the same sh*t. I just don’t understand why they do that or why we even stay with them. Love and prayers

    W
    Walter · May 8, 2024

    Gas lighting you over his guilt
    He will actually drive you to the point of insanity over his lies.

    He will ruin your kids by you staying in this situation.

    Focus on you only and put a plan in action to leave.
    Stay quite.

      D
      DeeDee · June 18, 2024

      When I was trying to make my decision to stay or leave, I started thinking about what am I teaching my children? Do you teach them that living this way of seeing you down, depressed, anxious, unhappy, arguing is the way to live? Leaving is hard (especially if you’re codependent) and some say I’ll stay for the kids. We are like mirrors, we teach children to be codependent or be strong, sad and unhappy all the time or go ahead and go through the changes and start living and taking care of yourself. I got to point that I had nothing to give anymore. I left because I wanted our children to set healthy boundaries. We had 7 children and 22 years of marriage. If I can do it for myself/them so can you. It is unfamiliar territory to put yourself first sometimes. But you take from the relationship and grow!

    C
    Cheryl Miller · July 14, 2024

    Put secret money aside and make a plan.

    F
    Fishing for guidance · August 12, 2024

    I am a mother of 4 currently pregnant with his 4th child. I found out he was cheating on my with his coworker and I set boundaries but they still work together 40 hours a week, they have to talk to one another, he was txting her because we were out of town due to my medical pregnancy condition and he failed to mention it even though it was a group chat it was only the two of them
    Chatting in it. Everytime I bring up how I feel he tries to deflect it back at me stating that he dealt with my cheating for nearly a decade which is not true! I don’t know what to think or do anymore

    N
    Neri · December 22, 2024

    Totally agree !
    Broken hurt wont ever find the right she deserves !
    I live a likewise situation
    He is severe ill and uses his illness to shut my moth
    But he had the situation before illness
    Trips and sms gifts disrespect after three kids snd 24 years on marriage
    Pray and wait for better days !

    S
    Sharon Kepner · December 25, 2024

    my ex used to tell me that I couldn’t get another man. I kicked him out last July and this December I proved him wrong. I’m 59 and my young buck is 31

    K
    Kezz · January 3, 2025

    I hear you, I’m currently you. I can’t tell you what to do, but rather tell you how I’m copping, we’re together 34yrs. I decided I wasn’t going to let anyone treat me like this, so everyday thought ahead of how I can become stronger, and gain my own control back. When he asks me questions, I stopped and think about the answer, and only answer with something that he couldn’t have a comeback to, one that is not close to giving him the answer he thought he’d get. Remind myself everyday that I haven’t done anything wrong, and that I am worthy of bn loved the way I’m needing to be. Take time to laugh at whoever he’s interested in, as they’re never gonna have what I ever got, age kills that. Go out of my way to show him I’m happier without him. Of course I still have days where I don’t want to ‘day’, and that’s ok, they’re the worst emotional days I’ve ever had. But I grow more strength from this, taking the time to look back on how far I’ve come. Plan things, to keep yourself busy if you can. I truly feel your pain, as I thought he was my forever person, I am loyal, truthful, honest and loving, but apparently that’s not what he’s after in a person anymore. He criticizes my personality, to be hurtful I guess, but I remind him that that’s who he feel in love with, and loved all my good qualities at the time, and there’ll be someone else that will come along and also love them. You are worthy, you are strong, you are going to be in control of your life soon. And yes he gaslit for years, loads of emotional abuse, treated me like I was dumb, but behind the scenes I was gathering information that he still has no idea about. I’ll be sharing that info with him at the right time.

    L
    Lee · January 5, 2025

    All you’ve said is the story of my life I went through this for this past 3 months I almost died I lost weight that till now everyone at work is trying to help me out by asking is everything okay with you,is there anything we can do to help ,all in the name of love until on the 21st of Dec he called me & like always picking a fight I said babe can I call you later then boom he blocked me on all social media platforms he started calling my friends & relatives accusing me of cheating on him🥹something I don’t even know but from that day till now I have experienced the peace I never new it exists

    A
    ANONYMOUS · January 8, 2025

    Go to Women’s Aid & talk to someone, I’m in the same situation & have been for 41 years. Act happy round about him, always have a SMILE on ur face, this is the way to deal with him, he won’t like that. Google Women’s Aid & call them please don’t put up with this, your a great mum & a great partner it’s not YOU its him that’s the PROBLEM he shouldn’t be treating you like this. please do something DONT put up with this, hope you your OK & things get better for you, you can change this, there is always a BETTER LIFE.

    A
    Ayo · March 7, 2025

    am passing through all this sign also, he is not even hindding it again, what can ido please

    J
    Justina · January 12, 2026

    Yes. I am in one of those relationships too. I hate it. I am recently disabled I can walk but I’m saved and I am leaning on this person too be there for me cuz I’ve been there for him. and now on top of that when he was homeless and hungry I take care of him and he knows that. and now that he has a job and he’s working for these cheating on me now again. I said again because I do believe the first time as well. there’s no way he’s not.. I’m really sad. I would never cheat on him.

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$iN · March 17, 2024

This is why at the beginning of every relationship I tell the guy look I understand if you find yourself attracted to another female I get it that’s only normal especially if you’ve been together with your chick for awhile i tell them to not lie to me about it and let me know who she is and I’ll see if she’s down to do a 3sum. What bothers me is the lying part just don’t lie. I mean I can even understand if he did it with some other female since me and my dude been together 9years but if your doing her alone it better be some chick I’ll never run into or isn’t from our circle of friends and that also means I get to do the same ya know. And you think me telling him all this in the beginning he’d have no issues and wouldn’t lie to me right? Wrong!! He screwed 2 females in our circle of friends that were complete downgrades and made me look like a fool!!! So idk what to do anymore….

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Emelene · April 4, 2024

I think this articles is right he got a sidechiks

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TJ · April 11, 2024

TJ. My man has cheated on me . Since then we are trying to get past it. It’s very hard for me to trust him now. We are not married I am his fiancé. Before this happened I trusted him with everything that I have in me. I didn’t even think of not trusting him. Now that’s all I think about especially if he’s told me he’s going to sleep and he’s been on Facebook for hours after he told me he was going to sleep. I feel like he is talking to another girl. Because that’s how he started cheating. He found her on Facebook. I want very much to move on and forget about it, but it is hard. What can I do to help me. I love him very much but this is really eating at me. If you have some advice I would appreciate it. Thank you

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marc · April 15, 2024

I feel for you ….just damp him and move on with your life. You are never too old to start again. I found love at the age of 62 and for the first time in my life I can genuinely say that I found my soulmate.

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TingO · April 30, 2024

I have been there lately and it really broke my heart.🥲 I confronted my husband we talked about it. He said there’s nothing about them. I forgive him but I just couldn’t stop thinking about it. Every time I read about their chat the pain would be there in my heart. It is just like the knife is still embedded in my heart.🥹

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Tangi · April 30, 2024

You forgot some …. They start wearing Cologne.when They’re going to work when he never use to. Dressing up when there’s no reason for it when he’s supposed to be going to work. Say he’s going to drop off apart and disappears for two or three hours.

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Jenn · April 30, 2024

This all to close to home for me. My husband has shown almost all these signs and STILL denies that the woman I know his is his side chick. I moved out almost 4 months ago and he is begging me to move back but tells people that he is with this other girl. Makes me sick everyday!!!

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Roshell Prather · May 27, 2024

Me too it hurts 4 yrs and the change

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Margaret Mcinnes · June 18, 2024

This was happening to me recently the only difference is he was starting argument’s with me and defending the person he is sleeping with behind my back like I’m the side peace being kicked to the curve after the wife or gf found out.

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Rita Cichorski · June 18, 2024

I’ve been married for 24 years. Very young!!
I was married twice before.
But I started over after the last divorce.
I had a really nice little house. It was a small Cape Cod.
I Love it! Finally started over. I’m
Lived there for almost ten years.
Long story short.. the man I met up with was starting over with my first husband.
My children are all grown. We have 9 beautiful grandchildren. I lost my oldest son 3 years ago.
So much guilt I carry. I feel like I failed him.
Now I’m with a man like his father was.
I’m so grateful that all the children are grown.
Married and have beautiful children.
How did I get back to where I started.
I’m 63 and feel it’s too late.

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Amanda · June 22, 2024

Well im going though just the same when we wasnt living together he would make up stuff that his mum was calling him late at night and then a little bit further down the line other woman would call him saying when is he going to see them again then i have one of his exs add me on fb and asks about him then but i loved him before that happened and sort of do now but i still think hes up to his old tricks but so instead of finding another man at the moment im just stopping alot of things that involve him to see if he comes clean about seeing other woman because we dont sit together in the evenings and hes mosty on his phone and when ive asked lately is there someone else he just gets mad and says no but he wont answer calls when im around him and some times when he has to go out he used to call me but has seemed to of stopped that now as well now whitch again seems strange to me but just hope i get my answers soon

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Rin · July 11, 2024

I know the problem is me… The argument part he does devastates me. I’m a Muslim. We live in different countries and need my papers to process (will take some time) until we live together. Let me say one of many arguments he does: I was raised by strict parents and not that comfortable in “relationships”. We got married last year in January. As he is the first man I touched in my life, I was so shy that I couldn’t take any initiatives… It’s been 1.5 years since our marriage and in every argument I have to hear “you didn’t even let me touch you on our wedding night”. I even apologized for it as I was shy and I am not used to be around men yet he talks like this and disrespects me. It hurts and whatever I do is never enough… And he has a habit of exaggerating stuff “for 5 years you only learned to do this” I know him for only about 3 years max… There are so many immature arguments and it makes me feel like I am the problem and I can’t take the time to improve myself… Yes I am the problem as many times he disrespects and don’t talk to me nicely about the things he wants, I don’t do or try to do it for him at all. It just doesn’t come from heart like “oh he wants me to do this let me do it” instead it’s like “he disrespected me and talking the way I don’t like so I’m not ever going to do this for him”

I look for someone experienced in relationships to hear my problems see my screeshot and tell me what I am doing wrong. I just feel so hopeless (I will copy paste this in some other comments to know if leaving this relationship is a good idea)

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    Erin · August 8, 2024

    yeah I’m pretty sure the guy I recently broke up with showed all these signs except for the one of being overly nice.. in fact when I tried to bring up all these signs stated above to him it just started a fight…. apparently I was the crazy one for thinking all of these things and apparently it was all in my head…. the thing that hurt the worst was after breaking up a couple months later I found out he was talking to a friend of mine in Oregon someone he doesn’t even know and met through me she used to be my neighbor although he has a history of hooking up with girls across the internet and then dating them…. before we broke up I had a feeling he was talking to somebody he kept being weird with his phone and computer mostly his phone he started taking his phone with him everywhere instead of just leaving it wherever like he used to…. after telling me his password and told me before he changed it that I can go through his phone anytime.. questioned me all the time for what I was doing on my phone while I was just playing puzzle games or messing with cell phone settings because it was a new phone for me. but God forbid I asked what he was doing or talking to and apparently I’m wanting to know things that aren’t my business…….

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Mary · July 14, 2024

Yes I have been though this before but I am happy to have that person out of my life

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Kay · July 14, 2024

Best thing to do is to have a seat down and say you know everything (even if you don’t). Then proposed to be separated. If he accepts rebuild yourself and your life, you need time for yourself, focus on yourself and share custody with the kids. The other woman she’s just his pleasure.. You build your family together the only way he will realise that is when you get separated.. it will be hard at first but time will tell if is worth it..

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Confused Lover · August 12, 2024

7 Signs out of 9
ISN’T this Bad , err what .. 🤔🧐😳😫🤮
what Shall I Do ??

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Star · October 18, 2024

My intuition always indicated it. On confrontation I kept getting denial, he was getting stress from me he said, too much worry in his head because of the questions I asked. I contacted a private detective agency and when confronted with the information he shifted the blame to me. Weak responses he used to defend himself , he was not cheating and he had prostate problems…..I didn’t know what I was hearing…..after all the lies I requested him to leave for the other woman in his life.

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Judy Mingus · November 14, 2024

it doesn’t matter if he’s protecting his phone. He can delete it. Now days he can have conversations on his computer at work and you’ll never know. Just trust your gut and find out what you can.
Cheaters are sneaky.

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Nicole · January 1, 2025

I’m so sorry. You should start to end the relationship if he is doing you that way. Or find yourself someone. You deserve better.

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Nicole · January 1, 2025

I’m so sorry. you should leave him. don’t let him disrespect you. You deserve much better.

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Sunita · January 3, 2025

All This happened to me 5 years ago and he walked away saying he needed his space so karma hit him hard when the woman he left me for she cheated on him with another man and he came back apologizing to me but I ask him for my space 😞right now he is a loose well Karma is real and god counted each tears
Be brave and strong you are worth being happy

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Disappointed · January 3, 2025

dis is happening to me right now all the signs try many times to confront him but he gets defensive am trying my best to leave him alone but I still talk to be honest am getting tried he offered said I worried to much I have to cause it hurting me knowing I don’t cheat on him but I believe one day I might just walk out and let him be

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Diana · March 9, 2025

this has been the story of my life in my 14yrs in this marriage journey and I have given up on making him stop cheating, rather I have disconnected from him emotionally. I see a lot on his phone even as he think he’s smart but it no longer hurt me the way it used to because i’m just there in physical body not emotionally. the only reason I still same roof with him is because of the kids.

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Jo · March 10, 2025

I had been there I am married at 27 and he my college Sweetheart being married for 10 years with two kids at that time my boy 6 years and baby girl only a year+ maybe out of financial stress and family things my hubby got into a relationship with a single woman 4 years elder to him she was his neighbour and off even a frend to me that was the most bitter that both took advantage of me not suspecting them even when they go to Church together and me helpless with small kids. When all the 9 lists up there haunted me I got suspicious and confront him however he deny and does blame me still our home were never in peace since then however he was the sole provider for our family I hence for my own selfishness I cannot seperate my kids from his father he love them and they love him thats for sure. Years goes by our relationship grew weaker and weaker till I break all bondage with him personally and decided that he go his own way and I go my own however still staying together for the kids. It was so hard for me and my heart breaks many time however after 6 years my kids are growing with times I was able to move on and was inlove myself with another man and this relationship enabled me to stop looking for hubby live my new life go my own way which touched him the most questioning about my being so different by which he started to leave his things behind trying to get back to his responsible self. And fortunately my new boyfriend after Covid he returned to his native place and we left everything behind through understanding. To my experienced about marriage if being cheated give all the space to him, dont nag do your own business just keep prayers along the line you will meet angel helping you up the rest will flow. Nagging will only add to the fire.

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Nwachukwu Gloria · March 10, 2025

This is happening in my home now only God will help me because am tarid of everything in that manage not marriage

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Melissa · July 4, 2025

Yes and sadly I went through this recently. not being included in family photos but was invited to the Christmas Day dinner. EVERYONE acting strange and overly out of character. CLAIM THEY ARE CHRISTIAN, but they don’t practice what they preach. his past relationships and of course all the girls cheated and he never did except his wife because HIS EXCUSE WAS I WAS 17 AND I DIDNT UNDERSTAND WTF HOW CAN U NOT KNOW THIS STUFF. He cheated on me that I know of twice and forgave and stayed. I still do love him, because I know the good Wally is still in there. He changed extremely when he lives with his parents, not really having any rules and just getting to do what he wants. I moved my whole life for him to thos town and sadly we are not together for his rage and anger issues needed addressing many years ago but he didn’t think so. Women should just submit right now down just do AND BE SILENT WTF THESE PEOPLE ARE INSANE

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Lily · August 6, 2025

My boyfriend is upset of me for being hardheaded. I keep on apologizing but he won’t reply and talk to me.

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Anonymous · December 1, 2025

Not entirely true. Maybe the distance is matching energy because when you show a woman nothing but love for 3 solid years and she still shows zero intimacy or physical touch, doesn’t appreciate anything you do for her, quick to call you out if you do something wrong, and shows no love whatsoever, distance is last resort before leave n for good. Remained loyal thru it all but damn, it’s getting old. I’ll leave tho, I don’t cheat. But women, treat your men like a boyfriend or husband, not a glorified roommate!

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Relationship Rules Editorial Team
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Relationship Rules Editorial Team

The Relationship Rules Editorial Team is made up of writers, researchers, and relationship enthusiasts who have been covering love, connection, and personal growth since 2012. Based in Singapore, the team draws on real-world observation, reader experiences, and established relationship psychology to create content that is honest, practical, and grounded. All articles are reviewed for accuracy, tone, and balance before publication. Learn more about how we work on our Editorial Standards page.