It’s always nice to be able to see the best in people. You always want to be assuming that people are constantly growing and developing into the best possible versions of themselves. You always want to think that the people around you have the potential to be better.
However, it’s an entirely different ballgame whenever you’re falling in love with someone. You should never fall in love with someone for what they might become. You should only ever really be falling in love with a person for who they are.
If you find that you’re falling in love with a person for what they could potentially become, then you know that you’ve got a serious problem. You’re doing it the wrong way. And you’re only setting yourselves up for disappointment. Add onto that, you’re being completely unfair to the person you’re supposedly falling in love with.
That is why you always want to be policing yourself on that front. You want to make sure that you aren’t really falling in love with a person’s potential. You only want to be falling in love with who a person is; not just for what they could be.
But how do you know if you’re guilty of doing so? Well, there are a few signs that you could be keeping an eye out for. If you are guilty of these signs, then you might want to check yourself.
1. You are always bragging about them to your friends.
You are constantly bragging about them to your friends because you think that you are proud of them. But be careful. You might just be with them so that you have something to brag about whenever you are talking with the people in your social circle.
2. You are slowly trying to change them.
Take a long hard look at the way that you conduct yourself in the relationship. If you notice that you are slowly trying to change them, then it means that you’re not really content with the person that they already are. It shows that you aren’t very happy with the state of their personality.
3. You don’t find joy about their accomplishments.
You don’t really find joy in their accomplishments and successes in life. Whenever they get a promotion at work, you tell them that it’s still not good enough. Whenever they finish a project at the office, you tell them that they’re still working at the wrong place. It’s just never enough for you.
4. You find yourself being constantly surprised by them – in a bad way.
It’s always nice to be in a relationship with someone who excites and surprises you. However, it’s very different when you are with someone who keeps giving you bad surprises. If you are constantly being surprised by red flags, it shows that that person’s real personality is far from how you expect them to be.
5. You fell in love way too quickly.
Be honest with yourself. Did you rush into falling in love? Remember that love isn’t something that you can rush or manifest out of nothing. Keep in mind that love isn’t something that you can just conjure out of thin air. And if you fell in love way too quickly with someone, then that love might not be built on something real.
6. You are just tired of being that single friend.
Sometimes, your desperation can lead you to totally idealize and romanticize the person that you are with. You might be just so desperate to actually be in a relationship and so you just trick yourself into thinking that the person you’re with is actually good enough to be with you.
7. You don’t really talk about deep and meaningful things.
You don’t really find yourselves talking about deep and meaningful things. You are always just keeping things casual. You are always just keeping things on the shallow end. You don’t really talk about the deep stuff because you know deep down inside that you’re going to find some substantial differences there.
8. You always pressure them to be better.
It’s always fine to be encouraging and supportive in the relationship. However, you also have to understand that we all move at our different paces. And if you find yourself just pushing and pressuring your partner to be better, it shows that you’re not content with who they are at the moment.
9. You force them into the things that you like.
You are clearly not okay with the hobbies and interests that they might have in life. And that’s why you try to force your personal passions and interests on them. You aren’t okay with the things that make up their personality. You want to be able to mold their personality to your liking.