Whether the relationship has been going on for years or you guys seem to have ‘clicked’ in a short period of time, living together can hugely impact your life and it should be taken seriously. Here are a few things which will help you evaluate if you’re ready to take the big step.
1. You have the same relationship goals
Ask yourself why you want to move in together? Is it because your partner doesn’t want marriage and this is the farthest they are willing to go, or because you hope to change their mind about having kids, or because you want to keep a closer eye on them; in short if you have any hidden motives and expectations from the relationship then maybe you should hold the decision. You and your partner should be on the same page, having similar relationship prospects. Have a ‘talk’ with your partner, your ‘why you want to move in together’ should be in sync with your partner’s.
2. You really, really like each other
This one is obvious, you need to have a strong bond even after the honeymoon period. If you are fighting almost every day, you need to figure things out before making the leap. You are set to share a space together if you have built a level of understanding, you accept each other at your better and your worse. You support, love and care for each other and are not in it for all the superficial benefits. You truly know each other and are willing to make efforts because the feelings are too strong, your relationship is not irritable.
3. You have survived a very serious fight
This goes without saying that when you are living together, a little disagreement every now and then is inevitable. If you guys have had one or more of a very serious fight/war, where it seemed like the relationship might end but you got through it together and came out stronger then you know how to handle a fight. It’s in these times of conflict when the true strength of a relationship is revealed. So, if you guys have strong conflict resolution skills, know how to solve problems, then you are good to go.
4. You have vacationed together and enjoyed it
If you guys have been on a trip together, you were practically living with them 24/7; you share rooms, maybe beds, finances, face challenges, witness each other’s tired selves; you get to know more about a person than ever. Ask yourself; did you have a great time or were you miserable?, Will you do it again? Travelling together can tell you how compatible you really are with each other. So, if you haven’t done it yet, a week away from the city won’t hurt and will help you in making the decision.
5. You have good communication
Are you able to share your fears, expectations, concerns etc with your partner with ease? or do you feel like it will lead to a fight so you just keep things within you. Communication is a key to a successful relationship. If you can’t have open discussions with your partner, be completely honest with them about your feelings then you need to work on improving communication first.
6. You already spend many nights together
If you guys are already aware of each other’s sleep patterns, positions, heard your partner snore, have a key to their place and have your own closet space then you already know a lot about each other’s living habits. Most importantly you are aware of the hygiene habits, you know that your partner leaves the toilet seat up, you have entered a comfort zone and have had small trials of living together, so you have a clear idea of what it’s going to be like.
7. You are ready to make a few adjustments
Living together does not mean you will be handcuffed to each other, but there will be some changes in your lifestyle. You want to call all your friends over, check in with your partner first, you want to paint the wall red, see if your partner agrees. Understand that from now onwards you will be making plans for two, you will be giving up a tiny bit of your freedom away without suffocating each other. If both of you are willing to make a few compromises, then you should go ahead with it.
8. You have figured out the finances
No matter how uncomfortable you feel discussing it, you have to do it before you move in. Money matters are a very common reason of conflict between couples living together, so don’t leave it off until after you have moved in. Discuss openly how will you split the bills, if there will be a primary provider, do you want a joint account etc. After you have both have successfully concluded how you will deal with the finances, start packing.
9. You have discussed what to expect once you move in
It is important to discuss what you two expect after you have moved in. You need to discuss what a big decision it is and how it will impact your personal, professional and social life. Being nervous is okay, it means you really take this seriously and it matters what the outcome will be, just have an honest discussion with your partner.