Keep you self-respect intact and stop getting used!
Love is a struggle. It can be a big pain in the butt. Many people have fallen victim to the harsh realities that love can bring into their lives. It’s understandable for us to always want to chase after love. We try our best to find love in our lives because we know that love is what really makes the world go round. Love is what motivates us to wake up every morning to live life. However, love can also betray us.
We become too desperate to experience love in our lives, our minds may end up distorting reality a little bit to fit our expectations. Our minds can trick us into believing that we are in a loving relationship even when we really aren’t. As powerful as the emotion of love can be, we must always try to maintain a sense of objectivism in our relationships. We can’t afford to dupe ourselves into believing lies that we set for ourselves.
1. You read too much into the words he says and the things he does.
You start to put meaning into things that aren’t really there. You think that he was being innocent and sweet when he told you good night but in truth, he only said it out of habit and obligation. You think that he was just trying to play hard-to-get when he didn’t reply to your text message right away but the truth is that he just doesn’t care about you so much.
2. You manipulate the facts to fit your preferred narrative.
This is another case of expectations vs reality. While reality says one thing, your mind is telling you another. You try to manipulate all the facts of the story just to make sure that it fits your narrative. Whenever you talk about your man to your friends, you make things up to make sure that you are portraying the right image of him.
3. You deliberately blind yourself to the bad aspects of the relationship.
There are many bad sides to being in a relationship to him but you choose to blind yourself to them. You only want to see the good parts because you want to believe that your relationship is perfect. However, on the outside looking in, everyone can see that it’s very unhealthy and toxic. You need to stop blinding yourself to the truth. You have to acknowledge all aspects of your relationship, especially the bad parts of it.
4. You try to defend his bad habits the best way you can.
He has his bad habits. He has his attitude problems. But still, you try your best to justify them. The best kinds of relationships have couples who aren’t afraid to criticize each other; who push one another to become better. They don’t try to justify each other’s bad behavior. They call each other out whenever someone does something wrong. They never allow themselves to be accomplices with the faults of their partners. – Continue reading on the next page
5. You are a sucker for his words, but you shut out his actions.
You believe all the flowery words that he has for you. You believe all the grand promises that he makes for you. He swears that he loves you and that you are the only girl in the world for him. And yet, his actions say otherwise. His words don’t necessarily translate into the way he treats you as a person. But still, you choose to believe him. You choose to believe him because his lies all play into your fantasy as well.
6. You package the red flags to make them look nice.
There are red flags all around his personality but you just choose not to acknowledge them at all. You think that his fits of jealousy just mean that he loves you too much to see you with other people. You think that his constant perversion of your body is caused by his love for you, but it’s really only physical attraction.
7. You are too distracted by the past to think about the future.
You are too caught up with those little moments that you used to share together, you forget to think about the bleak future of your relationship. You don’t think about the fact that the both of you just aren’t going to have a good relationship in the future because you’re too preoccupied with the past.
8. You wrongly assume that he also thinks what you’re thinking.
You’re not operating on the same wavelengths. You are only forcing yourself to think the way he also thinks so that you believe that you are actually in sync. The truth is that you couldn’t be any more opposite than you are now. There is no chemistry between the two of you at all and you are only trying to force the issue.
9. Your thoughts of him are completely different from what reality depicts.
You idealize him too much. You think that he’s a knight in armor but in reality, he’s just a common Joe who has nothing special to offer you. You are duping yourself with your own fantasies, and for the most part, it’s all your fault.
Talk to me
Have you been in this position? Let me know in the comments below!