How good (or bad) was your very first date?
First dates have the potential to be extremely awkward and emotionally compromising experiences. A lot of very cringeworthy moments can arise on first dates. The reason for that is because tensions tend to be typically high on first dates, and it can be a little overwhelming to people who are socially awkward. And it’s perfectly understandable that some people would crumble under the pressure that comes with first dates. There are really high stakes that come with first dates. A lot of people understand that a first impression is always going to be important when it comes to establishing a romantic connection with someone. And you only ever really get one shot at making a good first impression. So there’s a lot riding on a first date.
But the key in having a successful first date with someone is all in the preparation. It helps to do your fair bit of studying and preparation before you actually put yourself in such an emotionally vulnerable position. While it would be important for you to prepare a list of possible conversation topics, it would also be just as important for you to prepare a list of no-no’s. There are just some things that you shouldn’t be bringing up on a first date at all. If you do, you risk messing everything up and creating an entirely new level of awkwardness for yourselves. Make sure that you don’t bring any of these things up on a first date if you want to ensure the possibility of a second date.
1. Your previous relationships and old flames.
There’s no reason for you to be bringing up your exes and old relationships. It doesn’t even matter if you’re speaking ill of your exes in an attempt to make your current date feel more empowered. It doesn’t work that way. The very fact that you still bring up your exes on dates with new people means that you aren’t really over them and that’s some risky business to be dealing with.
2. Your sexual activity and inclinations.
Sex is too much of a taboo topic to be bringing up on a first date. It’s something that is intimate and you shouldn’t really be talking about it on a first date especially when you’re just meeting this person for the very first time. You might come off as overly aggressive and that won’t ever play well for you in the future.
3. The state of your finances.
Money is a sensitive issue and it’s something that you better stay away from whenever you’re talking on the first date. For one, if you make too much money, you might come across as someone who is arrogant and downright greedy. But if you don’t make enough money, then you risk coming off as a loser who doesn’t have your life together. Make sure you get a person to like you first before you actually reveal the state of your finances.
4. The idea of marriage and having kids of in the future.
Marriage and children. Scary stuff. These are two things that a lot of people would want to have in long-term relationships, but it’s never a sure thing. In fact, it’s not good first-date material just because of how forward-thinking it might be. Take it one step at a time and don’t get ahead of yourself with this stuff.
5. Any negative feelings or emotions.
If you’re having a bad day, keep it out of the date. Your date will not respond well to you being grumpy or sad about something. If your emotions are too much for you to bear, then ask to reschedule the date instead.
6. Any irrelevant drama you might be experiencing at home or at work.
Your date doesn’t want to hear about that fight that you just had with your parents. Your date doesn’t want to have to listen to you discuss the ins and outs of your office politics. Your date wants to get to know you not your drama.
7. Deep political philosophies.
Politics is a fun and engaging topic, but it should probably be reserved for future dates. Remember that a first date should be light, fun, and shallow. There’s no need to delve deep into such treacherous waters that could potentially breed some turmoil and heated discussions. Keep your politics out of the first date.
8. Deep religious philosophies.
Same reasons as the previous entry. But it’s only more important to keep religion out of the discussion because more people are sensitive about their religious beliefs than they are about their political philosophies. Discussions about god and the origins of the universe can wait.
And lastly, stop talking about yourself too much. You don’t want to come off as someone who is overly conceited and self-absorbed. Keep things balanced. Ask about the life of your date and be genuinely interested in whatever it is they might have to say.
Talk to me
How was your first date? Talk to me in the comments below!