Cheating in a relationship is always going to be hard. Recovering from infidelity can almost be downright impossible. However, there’s always a chance for a couple to come back from an episode of cheating. There’s always a chance for two people to find their way back to love even when there has been betrayal. However, the road to being okay again isn’t going to be easy. And you’re both going to need a lot of effort (and a lot of luck) if you want your relationship to work.
1. You need to recognize that your relationship is changed forever.
Sometimes, a lot of couples who have gone through an episode of cheating and betrayal will make the mistake of trying to go back to the way that things were before the cheating took place. The reason why that’s a wrong approach is because they fail to realize that even before the infidelity took place, something was already wrong in the relationship. And it was the wrongness that led to the cheating in the first place.
2. You have to be open to the idea of couples’ therapy.
There are many things that you are going to need to go over in this broken relationship of yours. And sometimes, you are going to need to look for outside help. There will be problems in your relationship that you won’t be able to handle on your own. And it’s during these moments wherein you have to humble yourself and accept that you can turn to outside help. Don’t be afraid to seek the assistance of licensed professionals to help get things back on track.
3. You need to both acknowledge your share of the blame.
You both need to own up to your own shortcomings in your relationship. Yes, most of the blame should go to the one who was unfaithful. But at the end of the day, neither of you are without your faults. And you’re going to have to come to terms with the fact that there is always room for improvement in the way that you conduct yourself in the relationship.
4. You need to take time to rebuild the trust in your relationship.
With any kind of betrayal in any form of relationship, there is always going to be a breach of trust. And trust, like glass, once broken, can never really go back to the way that it was. And it’s the same in your relationship. Trust has been broken. And even though it may never get back to where it once was, you still need to try your best to rebuild it to stay strong and sturdy.
5. You both need to commit to communicating with one another.
It’s going to take a lot of talking and communication for the two of you to get back to a place of health and safety in your relationship. You are going to have a lot of uncomfortable conversations. You are going to have a lot of difficult discussions. And the both of you are just going to have to suck it up and be mature about it.
6. You both need to want to make things work again.
Here’s a little secret that not a lot of people know about relationships: so as long as the two of you are willing to work things out, you are always going to have a fighting chance. Only you two get to decide whether to end things or not. Only you two get to decide when you’re going to call it quits. And if you’re still invested in making things work, then you always have a chance at doing so. You just both have to really commit to it. You both have to be all-in.
7. You need to show the willingness to make some changes.
Of course, you can’t really go back to the way that things were before. You were in a less-than-ideal relationship and you ended up experiencing a case of infidelity. That’s why you’re going to need to make some changes moving forward. The both of you have to acknowledge the fact that things weren’t working in the past. And if you want your relationship to carry on in the future, you are both going to have to make a few adjustments here and there.
8. You both really need to establish transparency and openness.
You both need to be able to stay open and transparent with one another. There can be no more room for deceit and dishonesty. There can be no more tolerance for lies and betrayals. It should be complete honesty from hereon out.
9. You both need to reestablish the intimacy in your relationship.
Imagine the act of cheating as a kind of wedge that was driven in between you and your partner in your relationship. That wedge is driving the two of you further away from one another. But the whole point of being in a relationship is getting close to each other. And you’re going to have to work at building your intimacy again. You have to make an effort to get closer to each other once more.