Please stay away from toxic relationships.
1. You mismanage any disagreements or complaints that you might have for one another.
Conflict is going to be inevitable in any relationship; even the strongest ones. But the best couples are those who are always able to manage their conflict into something productive. You are both two individuals who are choosing to live a life together. It’s inevitable that you are going to butt heads granted your different worldviews and thought processes. But you should always keep a level head and allow your love to guide you through whatever disagreements you may have with one another.
2. You let hatred or resentment get in the way of respectful and mature communication.
Free and open communication is always going to be important in any relationship: especially a mature one. There is always going to be a need for people in relationships to develop a sense of maturity whenever they choose to engage with one another. Maturity allows people the opportunity to see things with clarity and fine perspective. Maturity also entails that couples don’t succumb to any hatred or resentment that may result in compromised communication.
3. You refuse to take responsibility for your actions or your role in the relationship.
As responsible and mature adults, it’s very important for you to be able to be accountable for your actions and your roles in life. This responsibility carries over into your relationships. Whenever you fall short of being a good partner, you have to own up to it. You have to be able to acknowledge that you stumbled and that you need to be better. You need to be able to practice proper humility if you really want this relationship to work.
4. You give each other the silent treatment whenever you don’t get your way in the relationship.
Are you familiar with that toddler that you encounter at the mall who gives his parents a silent treatment whenever they don’t get him that toy that he wanted to buy from the toy store? That’s essentially what you’re doing whenever you give your partner the silent treatment in a relationship as a way to get what you want. Stop acting so entitled. Stop acting like a spoiled little brat. If you want or need something from your partner, discuss things rationally like real and proper adults.
5. You guilt or emotionally blackmail each other into doing what you want.
Whenever you try to play with each other’s emotions in ways that would benefit you, then you are playing the role of the abuser in an abusive relationship. If you truly loved one another in the relationship, then you shouldn’t be toying with each other’s feelings and emotions as a means to get what you want. You can’t be blackmailing your partner to bend to your will and expect anything good to come out of it. You are only breeding a very volatile and toxic environment for your relationship whenever you do this.
6. You withhold or conceal the truth from one another whenever it serves you.
Honesty is always going to be very important in a relationship. You can’t afford to be hiding things from one another. Remember that at the root of all relationships are trust and respect. You can never build a healthy relationship with a person if you don’t trust and respect that person. Whenever you decide to lie or conceal the truth from your partner, then you are essentially telling your partner that you don’t trust or respect them enough to actually give them the truth that they deserve. You must always be truthful and honest to your partner even when it’s inconvenient.
7. You fail to invest any time or attention in the relationship and to each other.
Time is the most important thing that you could ever give your partner. Remember that time is the one thing in the world that can’t be bought in a store. It’s the one thing in the world that can’t be extended with just a snap of the finger. Whatever time you have is what you need to work with. That’s why you have to be able to give each other the time and effort that you need to actually make this relationship work the way that you want it to.
8. You set unreasonably high expectations for each other.
High expectations are good in a relationship. It means that you are optimistic and that you really believe in one another to deliver well. But when your expectations are unreasonably high, then that is just a recipe for disappointment and for disaster. You have to be able to tread that line very carefully. You want to be optimistic and hopeful in the relationship, but you never want to be delusional. Be realistic with your expectations but still maintain that sense of idealism.
9. You assume that your relationship is going to be what completes you as a person.
It doesn’t. You still need to be able to develop and grow as an individual outside of the relationship. If you rely on your relationship for your sense of happiness or accomplishment, it’s going to breed a very toxic environment that is eventually going to destroy everything in the process.
Talk to me
Have you been in a toxic relationship in your life? Talk to me about it in the comments below!
