There is nothing in this world that is going to make your woman turn around and runaway faster than your inconsistency in a relationship. Your lack of genuine effort and dedication is what is going to make her want to head for the hills. If you’re going to play a game of ups and downs with her, then you shouldn’t expect her to want to stick around for you.
Sure, it can be pretty easy to step in and do what’s right whenever it’s convenient. It can be pretty easy to be a good boyfriend whenever you’re getting a lot out of what you’re doing. But what is going to happen when things start to get a little inconvenient? What happens when you’re not getting as much out of your relationships as you initially thought you would be? That’s the great separator right there. That’s really what separates the okay men from the great men.
That’s what really sets you apart – the consistency is really what she needs from you more than anything else. She wants to know that she will be able to rely on you to be there even when she doesn’t expect you to be. It’s your consistency and your commitment that really shows just how serious you are about being with her and staying in this relationship. It’s your willingness to make things work that tells her if she’s wasting her time with you or not. Your consistency is the only way she can tell if you’re as invested in the relationship as she is.
Alright, you can be there for her whenever it just happens to fit your schedule. You are there from her whenever you need something from her. But what happens when she’s calling for you and you have to go out of your way to be with her? What happens when she needs you to be there for her when you know that you’re not going to be able to get anything out of it? There are going to be days wherein she will really need you to be there for her no matter how inconvenient it might be for you.
There are going to be days where she’s going to be making it so difficult for you to stay with her – but she hopes that you’ll stay anyway. There will be days where you will be so stressed out with other aspects of life, but she hopes that you can be there for her regardless because she doesn’t know if she can take on her stresses alone.
Are you going to show up for her whenever she calls for you? Are you going to run as fast as you can to where she is even though it’s really out of your way? How far are you willing to go to prove to her just how much you genuinely care about her and your relationship? How much are you willing to put yourself through just to give her some safety and security in your relationship?
She doesn’t want to have to feel like there’s a substantial wall between the both of you. She doesn’t want to have to feel like you are making her work too much for your approval and love. She doesn’t want to have to suppress her feelings out of fear of scaring you away. She doesn’t want to have her insecurities and vulnerabilities creep up on her. She doesn’t have to want to walk on eggshells around you. She doesn’t want to have to feel like she’s going to drive you away with how much she loves you.
She wants to know that you’re going to be there for her regardless of how difficult she’s making it for you. She doesn’t want to have doubts about the relationship just because she knows that you’re having your own personal doubts as well. She doesn’t want to have to feel like she can’t give her all to your relationship because she knows that you’re not giving your all either.
She’s not going to find your flaky behavior all too charming. She isn’t going to find your hesitant nature cute or appealing. She isn’t going to think of your inconsistent communication as alluring at all. She isn’t going to respond all too nicely to that. She isn’t going to want to entertain that kind of behavior from any man she’s with. She isn’t going to want to have to put up with that kind of behavior in her relationships.
The only thing she is going to want from you is pure effort. She is going to be able to tolerate whatever differences you might have. She will be able to tolerate your imperfections. She is going to be able to look past your flaws. But she is never going to turn a blind eye to your consistency. She knows that effort is the one thing in life that we can all control. And if you can’t give her your effort consistently, she isn’t going to want to have you around.