She has learned the harmful, poisonous way of replacing doubt and confusion with acceptance.
We live in a world where being with someone has become as common and demanding as drinking water. Love is put to trial everyday; accepted, rejected and tested again. Getting along with someone as quickly as parting ways is a common practice, and among all these practices, there waits a girl who considers love to be a sacred thing: The girl who does not rush it, but waits and wishes to be truly loved.
The girl who wants to keep it real exists among us, treated as the second choice. Guys who cannot wait like she wants to, guys who see better options’ than her treat her as their second choice, guys eager enough to ride over what is precious for what is present and temporary. Constantly being treated that way, the girl gets used to being the second choice. So when the guy who wants her to be his first choice comes, she cannot decide. Her self-esteem stoops so low she finds it difficult to finally open up.
You will never be special. You will be just another guy who she thinks will leave her at some point.
She will treat you like a boyfriend is supposed to be treated. She will express her love, she will respond to your expressions just as normally, but secretly, she might never consider you to be special.
The girl has seen people leave her, break her heart in a split second and move on, she has seen them not caring and rushing for what is more available’, she has seen how they do it, quietly and without announcement, so she knows how it feels. – Continue reading on next page
You might even make her feel special, your words just might work and make her ecstatic for a short period, but when that period passes, she gets back to being the doubtful girl who was made into.
In her alone time, when it is only her thoughts and herself left alone, she tries to estimate the time for which you will stay with her. She wonders when you will strike and when she will be left to deal with it like she always has been.
She tries to imagine the ways you will do it in, if you will finally take the mask of love off and be upright and honest, or you will leave her just like that, clueless and silent. She will expect you get tired of her. People do get tired of each other, but when you do, she will wait for the time when you leave her.
She has learned the harmful, poisonous way of replacing doubt and confusion with acceptance.
When, or if, her relationship with you goes somewhere, and you try to take it a step further by putting your feeling in words and asking her if would want to move on too, it will be doubt, besides happiness, that will grow inside her. She will ask herself if it is right to be connected to a person so much, if being so close will bring greater pain at the time of separation, and if it will only make her look like a fool again.
That girl, who is used to being the second choice, will be confused. Every girl gets confused a little when she is asked questions like will you move in with me’ or will you marry me’ but this girl, who has it in her heart that every relationship is built to be broken, will clear all her doubts and all the confusion by just accepting it.
Not by leaving it to the future or hoping for the best, but by accepting the fact that one day, you will break her heart, that one day you will leave her and she will be fine again. She will be fine like she has always been. She replaces her doubts with acceptance, and that is poisonous.В – Continue reading on next page
It will be hard to believe for her that you want to make her your first choice, because she has always been the second.
It will be complicated with this girl. She will tell herself she likes you, but she might never say it to you. She might kiss you, but telling you after that it did not mean anything to her. She will hug you, and you will feel how she yearns to do it again and again, but she will not always show the yearning. She will be complicated, because she does not believe she can be loved. That is the thing about the girl who was always treated as second choice. For her, after being in love and being happy, the next step has always been being prepared to move on, to get over the heartache.
You will find yourself expressing, but you will not find her to be satisfied. She will always have doubts, then sad acceptance of future that you never actually intend to see with her. Over the years, that is how sad she was made by men who could not wait. Over years, that is how she learned to give excuses to herself and ignore love laid right in front of her.
It will be complicated, yes, but when she realizes that you, and your love for her, were the reason she never was the first choice, it will all be worth it, for the girl who was never loved knows how to make someone feel loved.
