An Open Letter to People Who Are Still Looking For The One

When you were growing up, you were probably always told by the people around you that you would eventually find “the one” who would complete you. You were taught, continuously, that you need to make yourself available and vulnerable to this particular person. Of course, you bought into it. It’s such a soft sell. You so desperately want to find that a specific person who would bring a sense of fulfillment and completion to your life. That’s why you’re so willing to take risks. You become more open to making yourself more vulnerable. Society is always telling you that getting everything that you want out of life is dependent on finding love.

You are also taught that if you don’t find that one person with whom you can share everything, then it will all be for nothing.

Finding Love as a Life Journey

This is why you would choose to spend a lot of your time just searching for the right person. You become so desperate that you do everything you can to attract as much luck as possible. Naturally, you would dream, hope, and pray for that particular person to find you eventually because you become so sick and tired of just sitting and waiting around. Not a day goes by where you don’t wake up in the morning hoping that you run into the love of your life on that day.

And it’s hard not to think about it when there are so many reminders of love in the world around you. Whenever a beautiful love song comes on the shuffle of your music playlists, you think of love. Whenever you see an elderly couple walking hand in hand with one another as they stroll down the street, you think of love. During the times you’re hanging out with your friends in relationships, and you see just how happy and fulfilled they are in their lives, you think of love.

Yes, you are always reminded of love in the world. However, along with that, you are also told of the lack of love in your own life. And that further fuels your desperation in your pursuit of it. The fact that you’re reminded of your singlehood continues to fuel you in your search for true love every day. The desire to fall in love and to be loved in return is practically a fixture in your emotional state of being at this point.

An Act of Desperation

Sadly, a lot of people would end up giving in to their desperation. Sometimes, to find love, you allow yourself to get into the weirdest and most complex relationships. Often, you let dangerous people in your life because you want to give them a chance in the hopes that they eventually turn out to be the one. However, you often find that the opportunities you take only backfire on you in the end. As a result, you get hurt. And that only fuels your desperation even further. It’s like a cycle that you can’t seem to break away from.

That is precisely why it’s so dangerous for you to think that you need to be in a relationship with someone for you to feel happy. Of course, you should never be placing your sense of self-worth and confidence in whether or not you’re in a relationship with someone. You don’t need to be in a relationship with someone for you to feel validated. You deserve to be happy. Naturally, you deserve to be loved. And if you don’t realize it by now, that love should first come from yourself.

Knowing the Value of Self-Love

It’s okay for you to aspire to a great romantic love. Of course, we all want that fairytale ending for ourselves. It’s only natural that you would want to feel loved in the arms of that one particular human being in your life. However, before all of that, you still need to love yourself first. If not, then you are at risk of spiraling down that deep well of desperation. And that’s not a place that you would want to find yourself in.

Love isn’t always going to come when you want it to. It might be a long wait. However, if you learn to love yourself, then you won’t feel the need to rush. Love is going to come for you when it wants to. And when it does, it’s going to be magical. However, in the meantime, the love that you have for yourself should be enough, as well. While waiting for the one, remember that you are the priority. And you always will be.

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