An Open Letter To The Girl With A Heavy Heart
You’re deeply frightened and that’s okay.
Dear girl with a heavy heart,
I just want you to know that it’s okay and that everything is going to turn out fine.
Even if you’re just passively laying down on your back, trying to fight the tears that are building up in your eyes, you should know that your feelings are valid. You don’t have to feel bad about feeling weak. It’s perfectly normal and you shouldn’t pressure yourself into feeling better right away even when you’re still struggling with your emotions. For the longest time now, the thought of having to get your life in order has been plaguing your mind. The prospect of having to iron out your future has been weighing down heavily on you. It gets even more difficult to think that all the people around you seem to have their lives on track. They look as if they have things all figured out while you’re left scrambling for crumbs and pieces. They look as if they’re just gallantly cruising through life’s road of luxury and leisure while you’re breaking your back just trying to stay afloat.
Whenever you get the slightest taste of consistency and stability, something happens that knocks you off. You end up losing your momentum and you have to claw your way back to where you were. You think that all of your bad luck is a result of your weaknesses and your own flaws. You think that the reason why you can’t seem to find the kind of success that other people seem to be getting is because you are a lesser brand of human being. You keep on killing yourself trying to make ends meet and you still fall short. You beat yourself over and over again, punishing yourself for not doing better; for not being perfect. You keep playing scenarios over and over again in your head, trying to see how you could have done things differently to yield more favorable outcomes. You become stressed and anxious at the idea of you having to face more challenges in the future and still not being strong enough to overcome them. The thought of the future terrifies you and your heart grows even wearier than it already is.
You’re deeply frightened and that’s okay. You are afraid because you don’t think that you are ever going to be strong enough to pursue the life that you want for yourself. You don’t think that you have what it takes to actually be a strong person. You are afraid that other people are just going to keep on going strong with their lives while you get left in the dust with nothing to show for it. You are frightened because you are deeply affected by what other people have to think or say about you. You don’t want to fall short of the expectations that you think society has set for you. You are terrified at the thought of people giving up on you once they see you for the weakling that you believe yourself to be. You are afraid that no one will want anything to have to do with a loser like yourself. That’s perfectly fine. These are reasonable fears to have and you shouldn’t be ashamed for having them. Anyone in your shoe would be frightened as well, and there a lot of people out there who share similar fears too.
But there is something that you and everyone else like you need to know. You’re going to turn out fine. You are going to be alright.
So for now, if you feel like those tears are about to fall, just let them. Let them flow. Get it all out of your system. You are feeling particularly vulnerable right now and that’s normal. Everyone has vulnerabilities and it’s okay for you to act on them. It’s okay to be insecure at times. Everyone has to deal with insecurity in some shape or form. No one should get to judge you on how you choose to deal with yours. You don’t have to feel so bad about thinking that you don’t have everything figured out. You’re going to get to a point of comfort eventually and that’s something that you can look forward to. But for now, let yourself feel all of the sadness. Accept that you are human and that you can’t always going to be perfect.
Appreciate all of the bad times and the struggles that you’re experiencing right now because they will make all of the success and the good times so much sweeter. Appreciate all of the failures in your life at the moment and treat them like learning experiences. Failure is only permanent when you don’t learn from it. You’re going to make it. You’re going to grow into yourself and all of your struggles are going to be worth it. Just be sure to never give up on yourself and always believe in your dreams.