The age-old question – can you ever stop loving someone?
Emotions are beautiful and complicated. They can’t be scaled, and they definitely can’t be put into words without a detailed explanation. When we develop emotions and feelings for someone, do they stay inside of our minds even after we stop seeing them or talking to them?
Do you continue loving that person throughout your entire life? It’s not a simple answer. Let’s take a deep-dive into how emotions work.
Is it possible to stop loving someone?
The moment you say goodbye to someone forever, your mind starts going into this sort of “self-optimization mode” and starts assisting you in forgetting the person and moving on. We make ourselves love someone; our minds don’t control our emotions.
I hear a lot of people say stuff like, “But my mind won’t let me forget.” No, you won’t let your mind forget. Our minds aren’t controlling us; we are using our minds to use our bodies – it’s basic anatomy.
So it all starts with you. If you want to move on in your life happily, towards a bright future, you should start focusing on all of the positives of your life.
Is it possible to stop loving someone completely?
Yes. A day will come when you won’t feel anything emotional about the person; that’s the first day of the rest of your life.
Does it happen overnight? No. Unless it was a one-night-stand, and even then, some people carry emotions forward. Again, emotions take time – lots of it.
Here are eight simple steps on how to stop loving someone:
Can you stop loving someone? Yes.
Now that you have made up your mind about getting out of the relationship, let me help with a few simple steps on how to stop loving someone:
1. Spend more time with family.
Family is a blessing. If you still have people around you who value your existence, you should cherish them. I know, we are often too involved in our own lives to talk to the family. But it’s a necessity.
During times of stress, your mind needs to feel at home. Spend time with them, talk to them, speak your heart out, make them your support system.
2. Find positive people to hang out with.
Make sure you don’t surround yourself with negative people. Life is hard enough, as it is, and we can do without added stress and unwanted negative emotions. Surround yourself with positive energy and people who love themselves.
It works wonders, trust me. And it’s super easy, too. I use an app called Headspace. (This article is not sponsored by anyone.)
Why is it that we spend so much time on work and everything else BUT ourselves? Take five minutes out for yourself, sit in a secluded corner with headphones on, and look inward – meditate for yourself and your happiness.
4. Be grateful for yourself.
Before going to bed. Count ten things about the day that you’re thankful for. After a few weeks, you’ll automatically be feeling happy before going to bed.
5. Follow a healthy routine.
This includes at least eight hours of sleep and three meals a day. Don’t skip breakfast; it is the most important meal of the day.
6. Talk to your friends.
Find the closest friend and go out with them. Spend time at home, hang out. Again, surround yourself with positive energy.
7. Spend time with yourself.
Watch a movie at home by yourself. Read a book while you sip your favorite cuppa. You’d be surprised at how much fun you can have by yourself.
8. Accept the fact that this is a process.
It’s not a switch you can flick. Emotions take time. Your mind is going to need time (ranges from weeks to months) to find a healthy emotional pattern to follow. But I promise you this – it will pass.
Will you completely forget someone you love?
No. It’s not possible to “delete” someone from your mind, it’s a thought, thoughts don’t die – unless we’re talking shock therapy, and we’re not. I’m all for therapy and psychiatry, but I dislike anything that has to be forced.
Can Hypnotherapy help forget someone I love?
Hypnotherapy can help relieve you of the emotional burden you feel about someone, but it can’t “delete” someone from your mind forever.
But Hypnotherapy works wonders if you feel emotionally haunted by someone and want to clear that feeling. Also, take your time when choosing a therapist, a good therapist is like your best friend.
How I forgot my ex – a personal journey.
I still remember how hard it was and how I used to tell myself that this traumatizing feeling is going to with me forever. That turned out to be false, as it so appears. I am a happy man today: no remorse, no regrets, no negativity towards any of my exes.
No, I’m not some saint. I’m your average human being, I sometimes have unrealistic expectations, and I often make mistakes. I didn’t do anything special to forget my ex.
I used to wake up with this massive sadness in my heart and cold sweats on my face. It felt like torture. I used to find out ways to stalk my ex, to somehow get a chance to see her face one more time or talk to her again. It was not healthy, and it started having a toll on my health.
I used to get constant headaches; it turned into a severe condition called Chronic Migraines. I had to go through a lot of difficult times because of my relationships, but that’s life.
I just always made sure I wasn’t alone. My best friend used to be with me, day and night. I used to cry it out, not keep it in. I wasn’t embarrassed by the tears; I love being emotional.
And one day, magically, I didn’t have that massive sadness in my heart, and I woke up feeling fresh. After a long time, I wanted to go out and spend some time with myself. That was the first day of my healing process. I slowly started meeting my friends, spending more time with family, going to the gym, and eating healthy.
The emotions stayed with me for a very long time; I think they’re still in there somewhere. But I don’t have any of that sadness anymore, that’s how our minds fix themselves as long as we give them time and stay hopeful for a brighter tomorrow.
So to summarize, emotions don’t just die or run away. There’s a process, and it takes time, it requires effort, and it is going to make you sad, but it won’t be forever, and the process will eventually come to a close, leaving your mind with just the memories you had with that person.
Also, do not seek anything remotely close to revenge or vengeance. Those things are made for movie screens. If you genuinely want to move on from someone, you can’t have any hatred towards them, or your mind will keep adding to that hatred.
Talk to me
Do you have anything to add? Talk to me in the comments below!
1. WikiHow – How to Stop Loving Someone Who Doesn’t Love You
2. Quora – How can I stop loving someone?