Usually, when other women find themselves in the position that I am in, they wouldn’t really be thanking their exes at all. In fact, there are probably a lot of women who would laugh and scoff at the idea of me just thanking you for everything that you did to me. I see so many of my friends who are so happy in their romantic relationships, and even though you might think that I desperately want you to be here so I can feel like I belong, I don’t. I’m okay. I’m fine. I don’t need you to be here. I’m not in a relationship. I know I’m far from getting married. But I also know that I’m fine.

I know that I’m eventually going to want to find love for myself. I know that I’m eventually going to want to find eternal happiness in being in a relationship with someone. But that doesn’t mean that I should be desperate about it. That doesn’t mean that I have to settle for the first guy who presents himself to me as a viable candidate. This is a lesson that I learned while I was with you, and I am eternally grateful for that. This is why I want to thank you. If I had never been with you, and if you had never treated me the way that you did, then I wouldn’t have learned this important lesson that I carry with me know.

You never loved me the way that I deserve to be loved. You never treated me like you ever cared about me. You never made me feel like I was the most amazing and most beautiful girl in your eyes. I was never made to feel like I was deserving of your effort. I was always just doing my best trying to keep our relationship afloat. But you never reciprocated any of that effort. You destroyed my self-esteem. You completely annihilated my sense of confidence. I was constantly arguing with myself about whether you were still worth it or not. But you always had a way to keep me hooked. You managed to string me along for the ride. You managed to play me like a fiddle. You played me like a puppet, and it took me a really long time before I could see the strings.

But again, I’m thankful that you treated me that way. It was precise because you were so terrible towards me that I made the decision to just walk away. It was because of your horrible treatment of me that I decided to stand up for myself and demand for better things. It was because of you being a terrible partner that I learned that love is something you can’t just force. I know now that even though I want love, I can’t force love to manifest itself out of thin air. I have to wait for love to come to me when I’m with the right person, and when I’m ready.

You just didn’t happen to be the right person for me. You just weren’t the guy who I know I could always lean on. You were never going to be the man who would always be there for me no matter how hard life would get. You always made sure that I was constantly scared and insecure about my place in your life. You never gave me the assurance or the certainty that you would always be sticking around. And once I realized that I knew that I had to be the one to walk away and leave. I realized that I didn’t have to subject myself to that kind of relationship environment any longer.

Thank you for treating me in the worst way possible. In a way, by being the worst boyfriend I have ever had, you gave me the best and most important lessons that I could possibly ever learn out of love and relationships: if it isn’t meant to be, then it isn’t meant to be. If love isn’t real now, then it’s probably never going to be real in the future. You taught me that I shouldn’t have to wait around for you to love me the way that I wanted you to. You taught me to go out and seek the guy who would be ready to love me for who I already am.

I just want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for being the starring role in that horrible phase of my life. It was because of that phase that I can now look forward to bigger and better things in love and relationships. It’s because I have been with you that I now realize just how much better I can have it with someone else.

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