Detachment Is A Beautiful Thing

You have to understand that a person who wants to be with you is always going to make the necessary effort to make things work with you.

There is only one thing of value that I managed to pick up over the course of our failed relationship and it’s this: not even all of the effort and good intentions in the world will be enough for you to make things work with someone isn’t as into it as you are. There is no way for you to build on the kind of love that is one-sided. You can’t have a love story with a person who just isn’t really that much in love with you. There can be harmony in a relationship if there is no balance.

And this isn’t necessarily something that I picked up just because of this one failed social experiment. It’s not some eureka moment that just manifested itself out of the blue. No. This belief stems from a number of experiences and relationships. People have come and gone in my life. People have made their pit stops in my life and they all brought something very distinct to the table. But when their time was up, it was up. And off they went while I watched helplessly as they gradually disappeared into oblivion. Don’t ever think that these were easy circumstances for me to have to go through. Imagine growing attached to someone or something and then having them rip themselves away from you just like that. You end up feeling incomplete like something less of a whole. I invested a lot of my time, effort, and most importantly a lot of my personality into these people. And all these investments turned out to be foolish ones. They never lasted. I never got my returns. I ended up with nothing to show for them except my emotional wounds. And it’s not like these relationships were just shallow ones. These were legitimately deep emotional bonds that I built with people over time. I was willing to go through all the hardships and the trials just to make things work. But when things started to get difficult, they chose to bail. They didn’t want to work for what we had. They left and all they had were mere hollow words of consolation telling me that eventually, time heals all wounds.

Of course time will heal all wounds eventually but that’s not the point. The point is that I never should have gotten those wounds in the first place. I never should have been put through all the things that I ended up experiencing as the result of peoples’ cowardice. I was extremely hurt. There was a heavy feeling deep inside of me that I just couldn’t comprehend; that I’m failing to put into words right now. I knew that love was going to be difficult, but I didn’t know that falling out of love was going to hurt infinitely more so. I felt like I was drowning in a tidal wave of emotion and I was helpless to the strength of the current. But I wasn’t helpless at all. I found the strength and the resolution I needed to keep on pushing forward. And if you ever find yourself in a position like the one I was in, know that you also have the strength to get by. You have the resilience and the stubbornness within yourself to help you survive. But most importantly, you are going to have to find the resolve to just detach yourself from everything and everyone. Detach yourself from the people who chose to detach themselves from you. Detach yourself from all the memories that you shared together. Detach yourself from all the hopes and dreams that you had for the both of you. Think of all of these things as weights and cuffs that are bogging you down keeping you from reaching the surface. You need to be able to detach yourself from these toxic things if you are to find peace, happiness, and serenity again. 

You have to understand that a person who wants to be with you is always going to make the necessary effort to make things work with you. And so if that person leaves, then there’s not much you can do about it. You just have to see it as a learning experience and move on. You have to learn how to detach. 

Detach until one day you meet that person who actually shares your enthusiasm and passion for your love affair. Wait for that one person who is going to move mountains just to be with you. Wait for that person who is going to put in just as much time and effort into the relationship as you are willing to. Wait for that person who is going to believe in the potential and the power of your relationship to grow in love. Wait for that person who is going to attach himself to you without reservations, hesitations, or doubt. But until you meet that person, just learn how to detach. 

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