Are you in love? Or are you just attached to someone? There’s a difference, and it’s always important that you are able to make that distinction. And when you do, you always have to choose love.
You are probably well-versed with the kind of person who just jumps from one relationship to another and they claim to be in love every single time. And if you are wise enough, you probably also know that they are so full of crap. Why would you believe when someone who jumps from one relationship to the next says that they are always falling in love? It can’t be possible. Love isn’t something that you can just fall in and out of by accident. Love isn’t so simple; and it’s far from being something that you can just find with anyone anywhere. Sometimes, what a lot of people think is love is actually just a fear of being alone.
Of course, you don’t necessarily have the right to invalidate the love of other people especially when you are inexperienced in the field. You don’t necessarily have some kind of tool that can measure the validity and realness of a person’s love. But it’s fair to say that love is something that is almost instinctual and intuitive. Love is something that you feel deep down in your gut; and you know that it’s real when it’s a feeling that you just can’t ignore anymore.
Or is it? What if what you’re feeling isn’t love after all? What if you’re just so desperate to fall in love that you have actually somehow fooled yourself into thinking that you’re in love even when you’re not? What if you’re just so afraid of being alone that you are slowly tricking your own mind into exhibiting symptoms of being in love? Be fair. Assess the relationship that you’re in or he romances of your past. Try to look at them from an unbiased point of view. Were you really in love with that person who made you feel miserable every day that you were together? Were you really in love with that one individual who you felt was just using and abusing you? Are you in love with the person who you don’t feel compelled to spend much of your time with?
No, you weren’t. You just tricked yourself into becoming attached to this people because you were too obsessed with the idea of pursuing love. And if you really want to find true love in your life, you’re going to have to know the difference between love and attachment. You want to fall in love with a person; but you don’t want to become attached to them. These are two very different feelings; and one is beautiful while the other is toxic.
Love is going to be full of passion while attachment is going to be apathetic. When you love someone, you are going to feel A LOT of feelings – both positive and negative. Real love isn’t always going to be so neat and tidy all of the time. And with all of that pandemonium that you will be investing yourself in, you are bound to have severe bouts with extreme elation and overwhelming grief. That’s what passion is really about. But with attachment – everything is going to feel completely anxious. You’re just going to want to cling to what you have for the sake of clinging to it; and not because you’re passionate about everything that the relationship entails.
Love is always going to be completely selfless whereas attachment is purely narcissistic and selfish. When you’re genuinely in love with someone, you’re going to make it all about that individual. You’re going to really learn what it means to put another person’s needs above your own. You’re going to feel what it’s like to love someone more than yourself. However, when it’s purely attachment, it’s all about you. You make yourself the center of the relationship. You focus on every way that you can benefit from the relationship. You only focus on what you can get; not on what you can give.
Love is about freedom; attachment is all about imprisonment. When you love someone, you want that person to feel free and safe. You want to push that person to be however they want to be. You always want the person you love to live the life the way that they want. But when you’re attached to a person, you become very selfish. You become attached to someone and you want them to conform to your every desire. You want them to follow your command, and you always want to be in control of the situation.
