Don’t forgive him for any of these 12 things

Physical abuse obviously tops the list!

When you’ve been with someone long enough, when you’ve invested an unlimited amount of time, love and affection towards making a relationship work, and when you’ve built up all your life’s hopes and dreams keeping just this one person in mind, you get accustomed to letting things go. You learn to compromise. You learn to forgive. And you learn to believe that nothing can be bigger than this relationship.

While this is actually a very mature way of living, it sometimes leads us into bearing things that are, in fact, wrong, things that aren’t meant to be forgiven, and things that can end up making us very miserable. No matter how long you’ve been in a relationship, no matter how much you love him, and no matter how badly you want to have a future with him, some things in life are always inexcusable.

We all end up making mistakes in a relationship. It’s only human. But there are still certain actions that should never be overlooked. If you constantly let your guy get away with disrespecting you or making you feel bad for no reason at all, this will only lead to more betrayal, depression and disrespect. Here are 12 things your guy might do that should never be forgiven in a relationship:

1. He gets physical with you

It doesn’t matter how serious the fight was. It doesn’t matter how bad his day had been. And it doesn’t matter how big of a mistake you made. There can never be any reason big enough for him to lay a hand on you. Physical abuse is inexcusable under ALL circumstances. And if you let him get away with it once, what do you think will stop him from doing it again the next time he gets angry? Stop making excuses for him and get yourself as far away from him as possible before he starts placing your entire life in danger.

2. You’ve caught him lying to you on several occasions

Yes, all of us tend to tell a few white lies time and again. But if you’ve noticed how your guy keeps lying to you about the smallest of things, and about things that don’t really matter just for the heck of it, then you might just be in a relationship with a pathological liar. And if he can’t even speak the truth on the little things, how will you ever trust him with things that actually matter? There might even come a time when you’re unable to distinguish his lies from the actual truth. And my advice would be to leave before you allow that to happen.

3. He keeps ditching plans

If he doesn’t agree to go to a party where he doesn’t even know anyone because he’s too tired from work or he isn’t really in the mood for meeting new people, then just cut him some slack. That part is completely understandable. But if he sets up plans with you and ends up ditching them last-minute on a regular basis, then it’s clear that he doesn’t really respect your time or have much interest in meeting you. A guy who truly loves you will keep looking for reasons to see you, rather than ditching the plans that you

4. He keeps invading your privacy

Have you ever caught him going through your phone the minute you leave for the bathroom? Did he end up checking your entire Facebook inbox the day you accidentally left your account open on his laptop? Is he always convincing you to give him all your passwords? If the answer to any of these questions is a yes, then it’s clear that your partner will not leave any chance to snoop around and invade your privacy. Even when you don’t have anything to hide, such behavior is just plain annoying and reflects how your partner has some serious trust issues. And a relationship is bound to end if it isn’t based on the foundation of trust. 

5. He keeps texting his ex

I for one do not believe in the concept of exes ever becoming friends. No matter how long it’s been since the relationship ended, no matter how many new partners you’ve met after them, and no matter how platonic you believe your friendship has become, there will always be a bit of flirting, and a lingering possibility of continuing from where you left off.  So if you’ve discovered how your partner can’t stop from talking to his ex, then this is definitely a red flag.

6. He blames you for everything

Being with a partner who is always criticizing and blaming you for your actions can act as a huge blow to your self-esteem. When the one person whose opinion you value the most can never stop from seeing the negative in you at all times, there comes a point when you actually start to blame yourself as well. You actually start to believe in all the bad things you hear. And you actually start to think that there is something extremely wrong with you. It’s probable that this negativity is only a sign of his own insecurities. It stems from his need to make himself feel better. Stop listening to the things he says and move on to find better, more positive people in life.

7. He cheats on you

For me, the ultimate betrayal in a relationship is when your partner has the audacity to cheat on you. I can forgive a person if they fall out of love with me and decide to break up. But I can never forgive them if they make the conscious choice to go behind my back, hook up with someone else, and hurt me in such a deep way. Because cheating isn’t just about love, what it truly reflects is the amount of respect you have for the person you’re with. Forgiving a guy who cheats on you just means that you’re agreeing to be disrespected.

8. He keeps pressurizing you

To change to way you talk, to try out new things in bed, to make new friends or just about anything- it doesn’t really matter what he’s pressurizing you about. As long as he’s pushing you to do something you’re uncomfortable with or to be someone you’re not, it reflects how he has no respect for your boundaries. And one single request might lead to even bigger demands in the future, so either define your limits very clearly with your guy or find someone who can actually understand you on his own.

9. He disrespects you

Whether it’s by cursing you, by trivializing your problems in life, by belittling the efforts you make, or just with his general attitude towards you, you don’t have the time to put up with a person like that. Nobody in this world has the right to disrespect you in any way and while this might seem like a small issue as compared to the huge problems couples face, this can actually become the root cause of deeper issues ahead. Stop waiting for this attitude to turn into a bigger problem and leave him while you still can. 

10. He disrespects you family and friends

A guy who truly loves you will be more than eager to know the people in your life better. He will look for ways to connect with the people who are important in your life just so he can feel even closer to you. It doesn’t matter how annoying your family might be. It doesn’t matter how different he is from your friends. If your guy isn’t even making an effort to know them better and doesn’t leave a single chance to make a joke about them, then it’s clear that he doesn’t really care enough about this relationship.

11. He keeps bringing up the past

Every couple has fights. Every couple goes through rough times. And every couple has said horrible things to each other that they’ve regretted instantly. But if you truly want to move forward from things like these in a healthy and happy way, it’s important to leave the past behind. Old arguments and problems should be completely erased from your mind once you decide to kiss and make up. But if you’ve noticed how your boyfriend has made a mental list of every bad thing that has ever happened in this relationship and if he has the habit of bringing up past incidents in every fight you have, it’s possible that your relationship will always stay stuck in that bad phase.

12. He never makes you a priority

You shouldn’t expect him to spend every waking minute of his life with you. You shouldn’t expect him to call you up after every single hour just to ask how you’re doing. And you shouldn’t expect him to make you the center of his entire universe. But if you’ve noticed how he’s never there for you when you truly need him, if he prefers to spend all his weekends with his boys, and if he has absolutely no time to ever talk or check up on you, it’s clear that he’s just not that into this relationship.

Stop nagging him and begging him to give you some attention. This will only make things worse. Just do yourself a favor and end this relationship before he does.

Talk to me

How many of you have gone through any of these traumatizing situations? Let me know in the comments down below!