Why is it that so many people are settling for non-relationships just so they can try to simulate the feeling of actually being in a real relationship?
What seems to be the problem with contemporary relationships? Why are things so much more complicated than they should be? It’s understandable that the nature of love and relationships must evolve over time but it seems like they’re regressing rather than progressing. It’s like the sensation of being in a relationship has lost all of its luster. It doesn’t feel like this social institution carries with it the emotional weight and sociological significance that it once was. Call me person stuck in the past. Call me a traditionalist. But that’s just how I see things.
Real relationships are tough to come by these days. And by my definition, a real relationship is one where two people fall in love and commit to one another they actually define the terms of the relationship in an informal but emotionally binding manner. When you get into a relationship, you might have a term of endearment for one another perhaps boyfriend and girlfriend. You never rush into making an important decision without first thinking about or consulting the partner. You aren’t afraid of letting it be known to the whole world that the two of you are in love and have committed to one another. You don’t deliberately try to make things ambiguous between the two of you. When you are in a relationship with each other, it should always be clear as day. There should be no grey area. It’s either you’re together or you’re not. There is no in between. It’s friends, lovers, or nothing. There can never be anything in the middle of it. Give it up.
A lot of people say that relationships have evolved that they can’t just be so simple anymore. They say that this is the age of hook ups and casual flings. They say that this is a time for explorations and experimentation. They say that this is an age where non-commitment is actually encouraged between couples. But if there is a lack of commitment between two individuals, can they really still be considered a couple? Because that looks more like two single people who are choosing to do things to and with each other without any real emotional attachment.
Why is it that so many people are settling for non-relationships just so they can try to simulate the feeling of actually being in a real relationship?
It all really begins with getting into a relationship without explicitly acknowledging its status as one. When you want to get together with someone, and you really want to commit to one another, you have to start calling a spade a spade. Call it what it is. You’re in a relationship. Don’t say that you want something casual because that’s not what relationships are all about. Sure, you can take it slow, but that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t be committing to each other at all. So many people are merely content with settling for a fake relationship just so they don’t have to face the treacherous responsibilities that come with real relationships. And they get into these fake relationships just so they can escape the hole of living that single life. It’s unfortunate and it’s something that desperately needs to be addressed.
When boy meets girl, and they become attracted to one another, naturally, things will start to progress between the two of them. They will start seeing each other on a more romantic basis. Their feelings for one another will start to develop so as long as they both play their cards right. From the outside looking in, it really looks like they are in a relationship with one another. They both look the part and they play their roles beautifully as a couple except, there’s one blemish to the whole dynamic.
However, in the depths of that relationships there are many issues between the two of them that keep them from really committing to one another. One of them may be afraid of commitment in general. Maybe one isn’t ready to necessarily jump into a new relationship. Perhaps one is still carrying some unaddressed baggage from a previously failed romance. And that’s where the problem lies. They know they want to be together and that they have the potential to be something special, but they let these unresolved issues talk them out of actually just committing to each other.
Remember this, the conditions are never going to be perfect before two people can get into a relationship together. That’s what a lot of young couples have difficulty grasping. They think that everything has to be perfect before they can fall in love; before they commit. But that’s not the case. Real love, real relationships are when two damaged people fall for one another and they commit to making each other whole again. So don’t be ambiguous about it. Don’t let your issues hold you back. Be in a relationship and be upfront about it.
