Expect These 8 Double Standards In A Relationship With An Emotionally Abusive Person

People might typically assume that abuse is something that is easy to spot in a contemporary relationship. However, that isn’t always necessarily the case. In fact, it rarely ever turns out like that. Sure, physical abuse is something that is easy to spot because of all the physical manifestations involved. But emotional and mental abuse? It’s silent torture. It’s not something that is always going to be so obvious to people even when it’s staring them right in the face.

Sometimes, you can care so much about a person that you end up becoming blind to all the ways that this person is toxic to you. You can love someone so much to the point that you become blind to the ways that this person emotionally abuses you. You might be left to wonder where the pain that you’re feeling is coming from. But you might not even realize that it’s all because of the looming presence and influence that your partner has on your life.

You might be going through an internal battle. Your intuition might be telling you that your relationship is bad news and that you need to move on. But your heart might be telling you that this is normal and that everything is going to turn out alright between the two of you. Sometimes, you just really need to come to terms with the fact that a relationship isn’t a good fit. And when that’s the case, you need to be strong enough to move on from it.

Emotionally abusive individuals are very good at calling the shots and dictating how a relationship is going to be run. Not a lot of people are going to be perceptive enough to figure out whether their partner is being emotionally abusive or not. There are going to be some poor souls who will be absolutely clueless to what’s going on to them that they just end up becoming perpetual victims with no signs of safety.

When you get stuck in an emotionally abusive relationship, it can really help make you feel like you are a weak and helpless individual. You might feel like you have no reason to hope in the world. It will be difficult for you to find reasons to smile and be happy. And these are all things that shouldn’t really be the case when it comes to true love.

An emotionally abusive partner is rarely ever going to take responsibility for their actions in a relationship. They will always try to come off as if their hands are clean and that they have done no wrong. They might even play the victim a lot so as to really confuse their prey. One key aspect of identifying an emotionally abusive person is through double standards. And here are a few of them:

  1. They constantly criticize you and put you down. But when it’s your turn to criticize them, they don’t really handle it well.
  2. They don’t really concern themselves over whether you’re anxious or upset. They don’t care much about how you feel and they maintain a distance. But they absolutely flip out whenever you fail to read how they are feeling during a particular moment.
  3. They openly flirt with other people under the guise of just being friendly and sociable. But whenever you strike up a conversation with someone else, they get very jealous.
  4. They always want to be staying on top of where you are at all times but they never really open up to you about their plans and whereabouts.
  5. Whenever they exhibit blatantly abusive behavior, they blame it on you. They say that they are merely infected by your lousy mood and negative outlook. But whenever you screw up, it’s always your fault and it’s yours alone.
  6. Your feelings and desires in the relationship become completely irrelevant to them. But when it comes to them as they express themselves, they always expect your full attention.
  7. They only ever talk to you whenever they are in the mood for sex or some kind of emotional fulfillment. But when you’re the one who is in need, they just ignore you. They don’t make themselves available to you.
  8. Your choices are never really yours. They always seem to be calling the shots. They make decisions on your behalf. But when you want to give your input, they don’t really want to entertain you. They just dismiss whatever you have to say.


If you feel like a lot of the stuff listed here apply to you and your partner, then it’s likely that you are in an emotionally abusive relationship. And whenever that is the case, it’s important that you develop the strength and resolve to distance yourself from it. You must always be willing to walk away from the things that are not meant for you.

By Relationship Rules

Relationship Rules is my ideology of love. It's a concept of emotion and oneness. Check out my book - "50 Rules of a Relationship" here.

1 comment

  1. Thank you for your examples on double standards.

    Is it possible to say that emotional abusers follow a routine behavior and that they are in a sense paradoxical? Because they abuse first in “self-defense” but in some strange way think they are being “attacked” when victims naturally says enough? There is like a gap in their personality, caused by a lack of empathy that makes them unable to understand interpersonal cause and effect?

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