Stop being so hard on yourself.
You have probably heard it one too many times already by now. People are always telling you that you can’t love someone until you learn to love yourself first. You wonder about why you can’t seem to land a relationship yet and they tell you it’s because you don’t love yourself enough. You are made to believe that you really have to fall in love with all aspects of your personality before you can actually find someone who is going to love you the same way. To some extent, there is a certain truth to this lament. But it doesn’t tell the entire story either. It’s not the whole truth.
And that’s because the truth is that you don’t really need to fall in love with yourself completely before anyone else can fall in love with you. Of course, not to say that you shouldn’t ever fall in love with yourself. You should always make it a point to try to become a person you can genuinely fall in love with. That’s part of what life is all about. It’s constant self-development and growth. You are constantly trying to better yourself; you try to push yourself to become a person you respect; a person to love. But you shouldn’t ever think that loving all parts of who you are is a prerequisite to having someone else fall in love with you. In fact, if you are lucky enough to find someone who loves the parts of you that you’re still struggling to love yourself, then you should really be thankful.
Never underestimate the power of another’s person’s love. That’s the basic essence of what love is all about. Fall in love with a person who is going to open your eyes to the parts of yourself that you never noticed before. Fall in love with a person who is going to give you the valuable perspective that you so desperately need to have a holistic view of your life.
Remember that true love is all about acceptance. It’s not like a buffet wherein you can pick and choose the parts of another person to love. When you love someone, you love that person entirely; wholeheartedly, without reservations or conditions. You love that person’s flaws because you know that these imperfections help make the whole of that person. You should fall in love with the person who actually gives you the faith and confidence that you need to start believing in yourself. You need to fall in love with the person who makes you see that your flaws and imperfections aren’t things to be sad about; they’re starting points for how you can make yourself a better human being overall.
Stop being so hard on yourself. Stop blaming yourself for all of your failed attempts at love and relationships. No man or woman is ever going to be immune to failure. You have to accept that sometimes, things just aren’t meant to be. And just because love didn’t work out for you in the past doesn’t mean that it’s never going to work out for you in the future.
You have to stop thinking that no one is ever going to love you just because there are parts about you that you can’t love yourself. You have to stop thinking that there are things about you that make you unattractive or less pleasing to be with. We all have our insecurities. But the thing about love is that it should always have the power to transcend these insecurities. Love should be able to give us the courage and the bravery to face each day with a smile on our face.
Fall in love with someone who actually gives you a reason to believe in yourself. Fall in love with a person who would never give you an excuse to doubt them. Fall in love with the person who doesn’t ignore your faults and your blemishes but rather, fall in love with someone who sees everything that makes you a flawed person, but still loves you regardless. Fall in love with the person who makes you understand that it’s okay to come up short every once in a while. Fall in love with that person who will really make you understand what unconditional love is like. Fall in love with someone who is going to make you see that life isn’t always black and white.
But most of all, fall in love with someone who really makes you feel like love is going to be worth it. Love is scary. Love is vulnerable. Love is a risk. And that’s why it’s important for you to always fall in love with someone who makes that risk worth it. Fall in love with someone who loved you, who loves you, and who will continue to love you no matter what happens.