First Date Question: Who Pays? New Rules for Date Etiquette

When the bill comes to your table, should you grab it right away, or is it better to let your date do it first? Deciding who will pay on a date can be a bit tricky, but by following some simple rules, you can avoid any uncomfortable situations.

Here’s what the experts say about paying for a date:

Whoever asks for the date should pay the bill

When you go out on a date, if you’re the one who asked your date to come along, it’s a polite thing to do to pay for both of your meals. On the other hand, if your date was the one who made the plans for where to eat, they’ll likely be the one to pay for everything. Even if you don’t plan on paying, it’s still nice to offer when the bill arrives. Your date might insist on paying, and you can say thank you for treating you. If your date wants to share the bill, but you’d rather pay for it all, you can say something like, “I’ll take care of this one, and you can pay for the next one.” If it’s difficult for you to accept that your date wants to pay for everything, remember that it’s their way of showing they want to take care of you.

After the first date, you two can split the bill

When you’re dating someone more seriously, both of you can take turns paying for your outings. This means that on the second, third, and fourth dates, you can share the cost. If your relationship becomes more committed, you can have a talk about how you’ll handle money matters and when to split the bill. If you want to bring up who’s going to pay before you go out, you can say something like, “Since I paid for our last date, would you be okay with covering this one?”

Are men always expected to pay for dates?

In modern dating, it’s not a rule that men have to pay for every date. This old-fashioned tradition has become less common in recent years. In fact, if one person always pays for everything in a relationship, it can lead to issues. The person who pays might start feeling like they’re being used or taken advantage of, which can cause hard feelings. It can also create a strange balance of power where the person getting paid for might feel like they owe something to their partner, and that’s not a good setup for a healthy relationship.

Is asking to split the bill rude?

No, it’s not rude to suggest sharing the cost, which is sometimes called “going dutch.” However, if it’s your first date and you’re the one who arranged it, it might not give a great impression if you’re not ready to pay. If you’re the one who invited someone out, try to choose a place that fits your budget so you can treat your date and make a positive first impression. If you do need to split the bill, it’s okay to ask your date directly. This way, you can avoid any awkward moments while deciding who should pay.

Who pays for the date in a queer relationship?

Normally, the person who invites the other person to go out is the one who should pay. It’s a good idea to stick with this “whoever asks” rule. So if you picked the place for your date, it’s a kind gesture to pay for it. Sharing the bill is also a fine option, especially if both you and your date want to contribute.

Share Your Thoughts:

Have you encountered any unique rules or customs in dating? Share your insights in the comments below.

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