6 Funniest Things a Guy Says When He is Caught Cheating

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How many of these OBVIOUS LIES have you heard?

First of all, I can never wrap my head around the concept of ‘cheating’. You entered a relationship, willingly and declaring your undying love for your partner, yet the second that you meet someone else, instead of being responsible about it and ending your relationship with the first person before pursuing one with someone else, you decide to keep both (or more) of them.

The reason why this is so hard to comprehend is because even if the spark is no longer there and you feel like you’ll be happy with someone else (completely understandable till here) then why not just end the relationship when you feel like there’s nothing there for you anymore? Is there too much to lose? Well, by cheating, you’re losing all of that anyway along with any sense of dignity you have.

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What follows are some of the classic things that men in particular have been known to say when they’re caught cheating:

1. "I don’t even know her"

Right, right, so you just happened to stumble across a dinner for two? Or did you trip and land with your arms around her? The audacity to actually say that when someone’s caught cheating is mind blowing! You need to assess the situation, what was the guy caught doing and in that case, can it be considered as cheating or is it possible that he doesn’t really know her? Sadly, quite often you’ll realise that it’s a load of crap and it would be an insult to your intelligence if you stay around him any longer.

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2. "I don’t owe you an explanation"

Uh, you kinda do. When a guy says this, it’s completely baffling because if they’re caught red handed and you demand an explanation but they just shrug it off because they don’t feel entitled to give you one is like declaring that they’re cheating and proud of being a scum bag. Honestly, you shouldn’t even have asked for one in the first place, because had they felt as strongly about you as they did about acting cool, then you wouldn’t even be in this situation to begin with.

3. "She was the one coming onto me"

Okay ladies, this is actually quite believable when you see someone flirting with your boyfriend or spouse. This is believable, provided the fact that they didn’t flirt back because she didn’t know or care if he was in a relationship but he should’ve shrugged her off by telling her that he wasn’t interested. Look at the circumstances around the whole incident and be sure that it was something that has never happened before and you can assure yourself that it’ll never happen again.

4. "I was just trying to help her"

Did she need you to hold her hand while walking affectionately as if it’s a date (and it obviously is)? Did the guy have to be ‘helping’ and also be so close to her? Exactly what type of ‘help’ is that? I’ve often seen women attacking whom they think is the other woman because the first instinct for most of them is to just hurt her for hurting you but the truth is that whether she knew about you or not isn’t what you need to be focusing on. Focus on the guy who thought he could play around while you thought you two had a committed relationship.

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5. "You don’t make me happy anymore"

If the relationship really did lose the excitement, even if that’s only his opinion, then the first thing he should have had done was end it. If he’s so done with you then why keep you around in the first place? You might not have parted on friendly terms if he broke up with you but you might’ve had some closure knowing that this happened. What doesn’t happen is that instead of expressing the change in his feelings towards you, he starts looking for other people to make him ‘happy’ while you have no idea about it.

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6. "It doesn’t mean anything"

What obviously didn’t mean anything was the relationship which you had to maintain while he was away all the time because of his duplicity. Never listen to this excuse and the declaration of everlasting love for you because love isn’t supposed to be something you just throw around wherever you. No matter what he says now, he just ruined the most essential thing for a relationship: trust.

No matter what the excuse might be, no matter how lame or how well thought out the lie may be, you need to ask yourself: Is it worth tolerating because who’s to say it won’t happen again?

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Ladies, talk to me

What was the craziest lie you had to hear after being cheated on? Let me know in the comments below!