Saying goodbye and letting go of someone can be difficult. In fact, it might be one of the most difficult things in the world to do. But you have to know that there is a consolation to being able to let go. When you are brave and courageous enough to say goodbye to someone, you are opening up a door for someone better to say hello.
This was something that I realized as I was going through my own personal struggles with letting go. I was feeling so empty and lost. There was just a hole in my life that was nagging away at my state of mind. I felt so terrible. For the longest time, I wasn’t okay. I knew that my life was less than ideal; and that I needed to get better. I desperately wanted to get better. I couldn’t bear the heaviness that I was feeling at that time. I couldn’t deal with the struggles of heartache and disappointment. I just couldn’t carry on that way. And that’s when I realized that I needed to have a change of mindset; a change of heart. If I wanted a change to come about in my life, I realized that it had to come from me.
I was holding on to a person who wasn’t worth holding on to. And it was killing me deep down inside. It was toxic. I was doing so much harm to my own self without my even realizing it at first. I thought that things would eventually get better so as long as I held on. I thought that there was something to be proud of in maintaining that strength; in holding on to him. I thought that there was something good that would come out of my idealism and my optimism; that eventually, things would change for the better. I was hoping that he would eventually become the man that I wanted him to be. I was hoping that one day, he would just wake up and everything would magically change for the better; that everything would be the way that I’ve always wanted it to be. It took me a while to realize that I was deluding myself with these comfortable fantasies. I realized that the storm that I was in would never pass; and that I was the one who needed to let go in order for me to find happiness again.
But I was afraid. I was too scared to let him go. I let my fear convince me that I needed to stay put right where I was. I had already invested too much of myself in this relationship. I had gotten my hopes up with him; and I was too afraid to confront the truth: that all of it was for nothing. I just didn’t want to have to bear with the idea of me failing; with the idea of me having my dreams crushed. And that was what kept me in that toxic relationship for so long. I was just never the type of person who liked to give up. I was persistent. I was resilient. I was always willing to commit. And I’m still that way today. But the difference now is that I’m more judicious with what I commit myself to. At that time, I was just being stubborn. At that time, I was just being hardheaded. I ignored all the red flags. I ignored my better judgment. I stuck with it knowing full well that it was bad for me. And that’s what made it so much harder for me to let go and say goodbye.
But fortunately (or unfortunately), I reached my breaking point. I eventually reached a point where I decided that I was being treated unfairly. I eventually came to the realization that all of my efforts were going nowhere; and that no amount of commitment in the world could turn him into the man that I wanted him to be – the man that I needed him to be. I knew that my mental health and emotional well-being were at stake, and I desperately needed to make a change. And that’s when I resolved to just let him go. I decided to cut that line. I decided to burn that bridge. I walked away and I never looked back. And now, I can honestly say that my only mistake was not doing it sooner.
I faced my fears and that definitely wasn’t easy. But that’s life You’re always going to have to face your fears if you want to find success. You’re going to have to put yourself in situations of discomfort if you want to grow. You’re going to have to let go of the past to make room for better things in the future.
