It’s not really about letting go; it’s just about detachment.
If only love really had the power to solve all of the world’s problems. We all think that love is some of otherworldly magical phenomenon that can transcend just about anything. But the sad truth is this: no matter how powerful love might be, it can’t be the solution to everything. If that were the case, there would be no more breakups between loving couples. And it’s not true when they say that couples who have true love are the only kinds of couples who are sure to last. There are plenty kinds of couples out there who have no shortage of love in a relationship but still don’t manage to make things last. So don’t think that you weren’t truly in love with someone just because you had to walk away from them. We walk away from things and people we love all of the time. And it’s just something that no matter how difficult it might be we have to grow to get used to. It’s a sad truth to behold: not all love stories are going to have happy endings.
Love and relationships aren’t simple. They were never designed to be so. At first, we meet someone with whom we might share a romantic spark. We see that perhaps there may be potential for something special to grow out of this. We get excited and we start thinking about all of the possibilities. We start envisioning a future with this person. You get all thrilled. Your heart starts to race. The wheels in your head turn without end. And you hope that this other person feels the same way.
But you keep your expectations in check. You don’t want to become too emotionally invested or attached in something that might not happen. You don’t really want buy into a relationship that you’re not even sure might be yours for the taking yet. And so you open yourself up a little bit but you still try to keep your distance. You put all of your walls up in an effort to protect yourself but you leave just a little crack in the window to keep things interesting. You slowly start to get to know one another. You start to really build on that initial spark and you gradually become more and more comfortable in each other’s presence.
And then you get to that point where all of the walls have been knocked down. You have finally established a good rapport with one another that you can really bank on. You have traversed the tough waters of early relationships and you are finally at a place of safety and security. You know that things are going swell and you just don’t want to rock the boat at this point. You now know for sure that this could be something special. You now know for sure that this is something that’s worth taking a risk for. And so you go ahead and you take that leap. And for a while, there is positive feedback. You both fall in love with one another and you both know it. You take in as much of each other as you possibly can. You try so hard to be the perfect partner to one another. You try your best to make sure that the love that you have for each other doesn’t go to waste. You know that your relationship is the real thing. You see yourselves as a legitimate force to be reckoned with.
And once all of that initial bliss dies down, the real issues will start to rear their ugly heads. The problems that come attached to love and relationships will start to show. You will be forced to really see what your relationship is made of. This is the ultimate test of your love. And slowly, you will start to discover that perhaps your relationship wasn’t as strong as you initially thought. You are still in love with each other and you don’t want to let go of the relationship but you know that something is really wrong here. You know that something is off. You were always told that it was never supposed to be easy, but you were also never told that it was designed to be this difficult. It scares you. It scares you because you know that despite your love for one another, you are still going to have to walk away. And that’s the most difficult part.
As hard as it may be to walk away from people we are still very much in love with, it’s a feat of strength that we must all learn to embody. It’s not really about letting go; it’s just about detachment. Just because you walked away doesn’t mean your love was any less valid. It’s just a love that you needed to detach yourself from.