Don’t let yourself be expendable to anyone.
He’s not really interested in your love. He isn’t really interested in you per se. He’s not looking to invest himself in loving you. He’s not looking to fully attach himself to you in a deep emotional capacity. He’s not going to want to give you random gifts just to make you happy. He’s not looking to be your personal motivator during your most fragile and vulnerable moments. He’s not looking to give you a hug and a kiss just to express his affections for you. He’s not really planning to do any kind gestures or run any errands for you just to put a smile on your face. He doesn’t want to have to go to bed every night and wake up every morning with you by his side. He isn’t looking to transfer the warmth of his love to you with a joyous embrace. He’s not into any of that.
He’s not interested in falling in love with you. He doesn’t even necessarily want to dedicate too much of his time for you. He just wants you to be there when it’s convenient for him. He just wants you to be there when he’s feeling lonely and vulnerable. He’s not interested in sharing a love with you. He just wants you to give him the attention that no one else seems to be willing to give him. He isn’t looking to spend the rest of his life with you. He just wants you whenever it suits him regardless of how you feel about the matter.
He is selfish. He only really ever cares about how he feels and what he thinks. He only really ever cares about his own personal happiness and fulfillment. He wants to be in full control of the situation. He wants to be the one who calls all of the shots. He wants to be the one who manipulates the circumstances of your relationship in ways that only benefit him. He wants something out of you but don’t you dare call it love. Because what he wants is far from it. He just wants your company. He wants your companionship. Actually, it’s not actually you that he wants. You’re expendable in his eyes. He just wants someone to be there to make him feel better about himself. He is so insecure about who he is that he constantly looks for validation from others whether it be from you or from someone else. He just wants a warm body to have and to hold when he is feeling emotionally cold. He wants a nice and familiar face he can turn to whenever life starts to get uncomfortable. He just wants constant reassurance about who he is and what his worth in life really is. He wants that from you because he could never get that from himself. He’s desperate for you because he knows that he can’t survive on his own.
Think about it. Does he even text you to make sure that you’re feeling okay at random points of the day? Does he reply to your messages right away or does he make you wait until it suits him? He only ever makes the effort with you when it’s convenient for him. And you can’t even say that he’s being withholding on purpose. It’s just that he feels nothing for you. So there’s really nothing to withhold. It’s not that he doesn’t want to share his feelings with you. He just doesn’t have anything to share.
The fact of the matter is just that he doesn’t love you the way that you want him to. He doesn’t love you the way that you deserve to be loved. He doesn’t care about you to the point that your relationship could be anywhere close to legitimate.
He hates the feeling of not having someone to share his bed with at night. It’s not necessarily that he wants you to be at his side. He just wants someone. He just wants a random body that makes him feel like he’s not alone. And he could get that from anyone. And that’s what hurts. You’re replaceable. You’re not of any value to him. He is remorseful in his ways. He is ruthless in his treatment of you. He doesn’t care about what you end up feeling as a result so as long as he is happy in the end.
So don’t allow him to have such a significant effect on your life. Don’t let him get you. Don’t let him victimize you. Don’t give in. Sharpen your defenses and just make sure that you don’t let him penetrate your emotional wall.
You definitely deserve more and you should demand more. Don’t let yourself be expendable to anyone. Don’t let yourself serve as a person’s mere tool for pleasure. You are a human being who is deserving of true love. And you can’t settle for anything less.
