If you have experienced having trust issues in your relationship, then you might already be familiar with the difficulties and challenges that these issues can pose. Heavy feelings of betrayal, sorrow, and uncertainty can really add a lot of emotional baggage to a romantic relationship. However, that doesn’t mean that these kinds of relationships are just perpetually doomed to failure. There is always a way for couples to still come together and grow their bond in spite of these issues.
If you happen to be in a relationship with someone who has trust issues, keep in mind that it isn’t necessarily your fault. However, that doesn’t mean that you are completely absolved of your responsibility in the matter. As the significant other, it is your job to try to help them work through the many feelings that they are dealing with. It’s all for the best of your relationship. Just keep in mind that the issues they are dealing with might not even have anything to do with your relationship.
Trust issues can sprout up in so many different ways. Maybe they might be exhibiting certain jealousy over the people you hang out with. Maybe they fight you about something that they think you shouldn’t have done. According to an expert, Liz Higgins, LMFT from Millennial Life Counseling, you are likely to find the signs that your partner is having difficulty trusting you.
“You may know your partner has trust issues If they can’t seem to give you the necessary space and freedom that an interdependent relationship requires,” says Higgins. “They may seem distant, have difficulty connecting to you sexually or in other intimate ways, and they may seem angry or frustrated.”
Maybe you have already caught them just browsing through your phone’s message logs. Perhaps they have been obsessing over how you choose to spend your time outside of your relationship. Whatever the case, it’s really not fun. It can be the source of a lot of turmoil and pain in a relationship. This pain can even fester if it is left unaddressed or unresolved after an extended period of time.
When there is a significant lack of trust in a relationship, it can cause some serious damage. A lack of trust can serve as a severe threat to the bond that two people have with one another. You are going to begin to witness “a disconnect in the relationship — less communication, less positivity, and an overall feeling of stress and ambiguity,” Higgins says.
You are likely to find yourselves just arguing a lot more than before. And it will feel like you aren’t really talking to each other in a healthy and endearing manner. If you happen to find your partner just browsing through the messages in your phone, “this quickly becomes an issue of control and creates a more conflicted relationship,” claims Higgins. Regardless of what is causing these trust issues, it’s likely that you are going to feel somewhat distant from your partner as a result of it.
It’s important that you are able to talk to your partner about your fears, concerns, and apprehensions about everything that is going on in your relationship. But before doing so, you need to remember that it is essential that you approach this conversation with sensitivity, empathy, and open-mindedness. Higgins says that it’s best to never be confrontational or hostile when you talk to your partner about it. Also, try to refrain from jumping to conclusions.
“Don’t immediately blame yourself if your partner has trust issues; it actually might have less to do with you than you think,” she warns. A lot of the time, these trust issues can stem from previous traumas and bad experiences. Your partner might have been dealing with these issues for a long time even before you entered their life. You shouldn’t be so quick to assume that you are the cause of all the problems.
Try to approach your partner in the least judgmental and confrontational way possible. Express your worry over their well-being and make sure that you are operating out of a place of genuine love and concern for them. Make sure that they know how much you care about them and the relationship that you have.
“The important thing here is to get to the bottom of it, and, if you’re both willing to take the steps to get there, that is possible,” Higgins explains. “It is often out of trust issues and hurts that some couples are able to create an even stronger and more emotionally intimate partnership.” It is going to be a lot easier to tackle this subject with your partner when you take a very soft and non-threatening approach to it.
At the end of the day, you must always show a willingness to talk to one another about the issues in your relationship. If you leave them ignored, then you risk having everything blow up in your face in the end.