Congratulations. You are finally free from the grasp of the narcissist. It was a very toxic, abusive, and manipulative relationship – and that must have been hell for you. It must not have been easy for you to gather up the courage and strength to walk away. But here you are. You’re trying to move on and that’s a good thing. However, you have to know that choosing to break up with your narcissist partner was only the beginning. The harder parts have yet to come.
When you first say goodbye to a narcissist, you’re going to have to prepare yourself for a kind of emotional rollercoaster. It isn’t going to be something as simple as saying “I’m done with you” and then walking away dramatically without ever looking back. You might have already encountered some details and information about this matter elsewhere – maybe on the internet, in magazines, or experiences from friends. They might have a few different approaches to the matter but one of the most important and consistent takeaways is this: always cut all ties right away.
And if you are able to do that, you have to expect certain consequences. Remember that a narcissist is a person who is dependent on the validation, support, and attention that they usually leech from you. And when you take a look at drug addicts who get their stimulants taken away from them, they are going to experience certain withdrawal symptoms. The experience isn’t going to be all that different from narcissists.
They are constantly looking for stimulation to fuel their innate desires to feel loved, adored, and valued. That is why it is likely that they will resort to one of two possibilities: either they just leave and walk away without really paying much mind to the pain and suffering that they’ve inflicted on you. Or they will return and creep back into your life just to victimize you even more. They aren’t really able to cope with a life without you and that’s why they’ve come crawling back. They can’t really deal with the fact that they’re alone, and they’re going to hope that they can somehow put you back under their spell.
1. Narcissists Will Consider Breakups To Be Threats
Consider it as a form of defense mechanism. When you break up with a narcissist, they will see this as a threat to their ego. And that’s why they will resort to their primal instincts to defend themselves from the threat you are posing. They will do this by taking away the one option that gets you off the hook. They will try to lure you back in by guilting you into staying with them. They will threaten you with self-inflicted pain. They will try to capitalize on your vulnerabilities and insecurities that they know so well; the same ones that they’ve exploited in the past.
You have to know that a narcissist is fully aware of the amount of pain and suffering that they have caused you in life. It’s just that they don’t really care. They only ever really concern themselves with their own personal needs and desires, and that’s why they are ruthless in their methods. They are always going to do whatever it takes to try to win you over. They will do whatever it takes to satisfy their own personal pleasures and needs even if it means exploiting you to the brink of destruction.
2. Narcissists Are Surprisingly Patient
As stubborn as they might initially seem, you have to know that a narcissist is typically very patient in the pursuit of their goals. They can be very methodical and meticulous in their actions. And they aren’t always going to rush into things. They take their time. They always wait for the right opportunities to strike. They don’t like to waste their shots. And that’s why you should always be wary.
Even if it’s months down the line after your break up, you shouldn’t rule out a comeback on the part of the narcissist. They will wait as long as they have to for you to let your guard down; for you to let yourself be vulnerable again. And when they see that it’s time to strike, they will do so without any hesitation. That’s why you ALWAYS need to keep vigilant. Always be keeping your guard up; and never open yourself up to the advances of the narcissist.
3. Keep in mind that you are the drug that they need.
Narcissists are addicts. They are addicted to you. You are their drug. And you are the one who gives them power. So, you just have to keep in mind that you can take away their power by withdrawing yourself from the situation completely. Just stay strong. And keep your distance as much as possible. Burn that bridge and never look back.