I know what you’re thinking, isn’t love all that you need to pull through in life? Isn’t love the light at the end of the tunnel, which keeps us going? How can anyone convince themselves that love isn’t enough? Before I tell you how I finally arrived at this conclusion, let me tell you a little bit about myself. I’m not a pessimist nor have I been any more unlucky in love as any of you. I’m just the same, but with a different idea.
Your definition of love isn’t the same as someone else’s definition of love because you two aren’t in the same situation. You aren’t bounded by some fraternity when you enter a relationship. The whole idea of that single friend being left out from the "group" is literally nothing more than just an idea. The truth is that the circumstances which surround your relationship cannot be completely mirrored by someone else’s.
Attraction can often be mistaken for love. The truth is that none of us are really clear on the idea of love because of the varying definitions.
You’ll feel butterflies fluttering in your stomach.
You’ll realise that you can finally be yourself and achieve all that you’ve wanted.
You’ll feel secure.
You can follow any one of these and think that you’ve fallen in love. When in reality, you’re merely attracted to the person. Love is so much more than a feeling. It’s honestly a collection of different feelings such as; respect, care and trust. – Continue reading on next page
A relationship is thought to build on the foundation of love. This love being an attraction to your partner. As long as you two feel attracted to each other, it’ll last and then when you two feel like the sparks gone, it’ll end. Isn’t that what everyone thinks? A relationship fades away because feelings change.
Let’s get that through our heads, people will change and you can’t stop them from becoming new individuals. Feelings aren’t supposed to change because in order for a relationship to move on, feelings need to stay consistent.
However, this still isn’t how I convinced myself that love isn’t enough. This isn’t the type of post where you’re told that self-love is the best love because we already know that. This isn’t either the type of post where you’re being convinced to stay single. Hey, if you want to stay single then be my guest, but don’t stay single in the confusion that everything will end. The purpose of this article is to tell you how much more there is!
Love doesn’t necessarily mean that two people are right for each other. It’s amazing how many stereotypes I’m breaking in this article because here’s another one: setting someone free JUST BECAUSE you love them and then if they come back then it was right all along is absolute and utter BS.
I convinced myself that love isn’t enough to make a relationship last or to have everything in life over the simple fact that we forget to see what actually counts. We’re so engrossed in our partner’s life that we lose sight of what made us a couple. Love is what you feel for the person which, as I’ve already mentioned, can be mistaken attraction. Love isn’t compatibility and it definitely isn’t your life.
When we believe that we’re in love, we begin to tolerate all the things in our partner which would’ve driven us crazy otherwise. While I’m not saying that it’s wrong to tolerate a few things here and there, it is most definitely wrong to believe that everything they do is right. В – Continue reading on next page
Similarly, believing that everything now has a secret ‘relationship-ish’ meaning can also lead us stray. Stray from what’s right and what’s wrong. In the world outside of our relationship, we’ll still view those things as right or wrong. However, with our partner, we’ll think that it’s all well.
Never lose sight of everything other than love. You want to know how I convinced myself to believe in something no one else is willing to believe? Being a pessimist might help you believe in this or being unlucky in love, but no ‘sane’ person is thought to believe in this. I convinced myself of this merely because I realized that people lost sight of what relationships are all about.
You’ll stay with complete assholes because you think that you’re in love with them. They won’t respect you or take care of you but you’ll stay because you’ll see them as someone you’ll always love.
Snap out of it! You love them because you’re attracted to them and it hurts you to imagine your life without them but that isn’t the point. The point is to be with someone who gives you a present and a future.
In conclusion, I’ll tell you that love might be an ideology which gets us by in life, but it isn’t a mantra to live by. You can fall in love with the right person and you won’t be able to relate. Yet, you might fall in love with the wrong person and you can relate because you can see how love is the only thing pulling you back to the same person. You’re aware of all the things which were wrong, but you’re willing to overlook them.
Why? Because you love them. I admireВ yourВ devotion to a person, but I need you toВ understand that love just simply isn’t enough. Don’t be a pessimist, don’t be asexual, don’t change yourself just change your ideology.