How the most mature people create significant relationships

There are always a few things about ourselves that we aren’t really proud of, and would like to change. Certain habits we’ve become so accustomed to, that it seems almost impossible to give them up. You wake up each day thinking to yourself that today onwards; I’m going to stop doing this or that. But you might end up doing it all the same anyway.

You could be a habitual liar, or have trouble keeping promises, or have a short temper, or are impatient or maybe too harsh with your words or so much more. Of course there must be good things about you that might balance the negatives. But it’d be so much better; if you stopped doing all the things that you’ve been doing wrong. Not only will it make you a better person, but it’d impact the people around you positively as well.

We all know how acceptance is the first step to recovery. How then even after realizing the error in our ways, we still can’t mend them? Maybe because we are unaware of the repercussions of our actions. You might have said something hurtful to someone, felt bad about it later, but only to wake up the next day completely forgetting about it. There has to be a way to break this pattern of ignorance.

Start apologizing for your wrongdoings to the respective people. Just going up to someone and owning up to your actions is embarrassing and difficult enough. Hear them tell you exactly how something you said or did damaged them. Apologize to them sincerely. Put yourself in their shoes, and you’ll begin to comprehend how hurtful you’ve been to them.

Such encounters are needed to set us straight. Once you realize the extent of the hurt you’re capable of causing, you’d be very careful with your words and actions from then onwards. People already have so much to deal with; pain, suffering and disappointments. Don’t add to their problems. Don’t ever treat people in a manner you wouldn’t choose for yourself.

˜Watch your thoughts; they become words,

Watch your words, they become actions;

Watch your actions; they become habits;

Watch your habits; they become character;

Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.’

Admitting your mistakes and apologising for them is what mature people do. And it’s never too late for it. If you really want to change yourself for the better, start from today. Take that embarrassing first step, to make things right with people.

Talk to me

What is it about you that you’d like to change? What do you usually do when you’ve hurt someone? Have you ever apologized for your offenses? And has that kept you from repeating the same behavior over and over again? Do you know of other ways to attain this kind of maturity? We’d appreciate your response.

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